An Open Letter To Digital Pacific

Dear Digital Pacific,

Back in 2004 I bought your Q-Master 4 Port SATA-II RAID PCI Controller and I'd like you to know that it has never given me a problem. I have been using it on my CAD box for 5 years and I have never had a problem with it. I even used it in RAID-0 for a while with 4 160GB Maxtors buzzing away like busy little bees. Never a glitch. It always ran like a charm. In fact, it still runs like a charm... I think. Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself. Allow me to digress a bit and bring you up to speed.

You see, back in 2005 I needed to pull down the gaming rig and set it up as a dedicated SolidWorks station. It really wasn't a problem since I wasn't gaming much anymore and I had plenty of 3D work that I could bring home and work on while drinking beer... so, I took down the RAID array and set the four disks up as individual storage drives. I plugged an 80GB drive into the IDE port and loaded that one up XP Home since it was all I had laying around at the time. Awesome. The whole box was perfect and I began using one of the drives on your controller as a main storage disk, two as back-up drives, and the fourth as a spare. Again, never had a problem with your card. In fact, I never even gave it a second thought. It just worked.

As I worked on each project I diligently copied my data to two of the drives on your card and slept well. Once a month I copied all of my backups to a third drive just to be extra careful. The fourth drive was there as a spare just waiting for one of the other three to fail. I had the world by the meep. Right by the meeping gonads, I did.

Everything ran well until today when the inevitable happened; the main storage drive hit the meep deck. You see, I was mucking around in SW trying to keep my skills sharp since I've been out of work for a while and therefore out of practice. I went to open a large file and the main storage drive spun out. No question it was dead, I heard it scream. I chuckled to myself and nearly sprained a shoulder while patting myself on the back for being such a good little backer-upper. "Ha ha meepsucker, I have two more drives with that data!", I growled.

To be sure, I flicked through the archives of both spare drives and loaded a few files. Everything was intact. Awesome. I rock. I deserve a meep and a beer.

Right about then I decided to take down the work station and remove the busted drive. I would swap it with the spare and set everything back up. I grabbed a screw driver and opened the case. HOLY meep. Dirty case. Dirty, dirty case. This case needs to be cleaned. Since I'm kind of bored anyway I decided to take the whole box down and clean it all up.

Once it was cleaned and reassembled, I booted it back up and checked my data. Everything was cool. Awesome. But... this PC has had XP Home on it since forever. I might as well upgrade it to XP Pro and do away with the meeped up hobbled networking while I'm at it, right? Two birds while my hands are already dirty, right? Awesome. Now I'll be able to read and write directly to the drives from my lappy. I went to work...

3 hours later I'm installing all my drivers when I realized that the drivers for your Q-Master card were on a floppy. Since I don't have a floppy in this machine, I took the disk upstairs and popped into the wifes machine to burn the drivers to CD. Bzzzt! Bzzzt! "Disk Error" -meep. I guess I'll just have to download them...

You m o t h e r f u c k e r s.

I hope you've taken the time to read this entire meeping letter because it's only a taste of the frustration I endured trying to locate drivers for your meeping card, you meep-sucking, mother-meeping, pile of AIDS infested meep turds.

When I first discovered that you'd gone out of business and that your site was gone, I felt kind of bad for you and your employees... but once I realized that the drivers for this card do not exist anywhere else on the ENTIRE meepING INTERNET I wanted to force feed every one of you every meep on the planet. Not just human meep either; EVERY meep ON THE PLANET. All of them. Even the insect meeps. I want every one of you sick meeps to die with your necks bloated with giant mounds of miscellaneous meep. Choke on meep to death, please. Each and every one of you please swallow meep until you stop breathing.

You couldn't leave a single megabyte sized driver out there floating around the internet, could you? Nope. meeping meepcreme, lemonparty and goatse still manage to exist but you couldn't find a way to leave a few tiny drivers laying around for the people who use your hardware and might need them someday. Thanks a lot meepgots. I hope you all die slow deaths while choking on multitudes of meep and bleeding profusely from your assholes... hopefully while being stung by swarms of bumble bees while rabid cats claw at your eyes and angry trolls hammer rusty nails into your pasty little kneecaps. I hate every one of you forever.

Sincerely, meep You Pacific Digital. meep you to death.

-Wotak