• Swarmed by
  • Dumbskull
  • Feb06 '09
  • 1195 things

    29.5k rads

Do you suddenly morph into a huge man meep at the sight of blood?

This morning the roommate was in the kitchen chopping onions (with about three whiskeys under his belt; he works nights so 8AM is 5PM in his world) and he yells out... "I cut off my finger!"

I found him standing over the sink with a inch slice (at an angle) on his index finger; no, it would not require stitches. However, since he chews 600-800mg ibuprofen every 8 hours and had been drinking when the injury occurred... the meeper would not stop bleeding and of course... the more blood that oozed out the more he felt he was going to lose the finger and/or die from exsanguination.

I grabbed a sheet of Brawny and told him to hold tight pressure on it while I went in search of the first aid kit. I ran back to the kitchen and found him with a blood saturated paper towel under the finger tip while mixing another drink. He claimed he couldn't hold tight pressure on the bloody digit because tight makes it bleed more. I attempted to secure sterile bandages on the finger but the Big meep flailed his bloody hand about, while yelling I was doing it wrong. The blood splatter on the walls resembled an installment of the Saw series.

As I went through the house cleaning up his bloody trail I told him he had bathed the house in period blood. This brought out some serious meep wailing which included, I NEED YOU TO HELP MEEEEEE, I NEED help, PLEASEEEEEEE,.... but I want you to do it my way! Oh My GOD, I'm going need a team of surgeons to reattach my finger, what if I can't feel my finger tip, I'll have to learn to pick my nose with my left index fingerCould you mix me another drink while you are in the kitchen, PLEASEEEEE

I gave up trying to secure a REAL dressing over the wound and was reduced to a wad of paper towels and clear packing tape.

Yeah, I'm sure it hurt like meep, paper cuts suck and I've sliced all ten of my digits at various times over the years while chopping, slicing and dicing... but holy meep I never realized he was such a crying meep.

Decider: Admin

  • Acidburn
  • Feb06 '09

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He is a meep I take it

  • nurglets
  • Feb06 '09

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sounds like a raging homomeep, even if he isnt, tell him he is. a man who doesn't wear scars on his hands proud like a pimp wears his bling bling, aint no man in this world.

  • Wotak
  • Feb06 '09

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  • Phlebas
  • Feb06 '09

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I have seen some nasty, bloody meep in my life.

The only thing that sticks in my mind when I get a nice cut is whether or not I am going to get an infection or if it is something that is going to naggingly sore for a long period of time.

I once slipped in the shower and cut the bottom of my foot from one side to another about a quarter inch deep. I really should have gotten stitches, cuz that meep bled forever and was sore for 3 weeks.

Yer roommate needs to lay off the blood thinners if he's going to go on interacting with the physical world. No one likes a bleeder, especially one who whines like a meep when they dribble a little of their lifesauce.

  • dagwood
  • Feb07 '09

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As a guywho has worked outdoors and in shops with power machinery most of his life I have ZEROX72 sympathy for meep who get a little knife cut and actually think they're wounded. Sight-of-blood meeps are intolerable in the extreme.

Saw a guy in a cabinet shop split his thumb in half down to the knuckle on a sliding table saw, blade 1/8" wide. He'd been in the biz 25 years , just had some material jump on him. He wrapped a shop rag around it and couldn't wait to get back to work. Never made a peep, like one guy one cup dude. In that shop if you got a splinter or a cut, the standard advice was to get a sharpie and cirlce it. Ain't got time to meep with that now, do that when you get home.

I was on the track in MD, the Timonium Fairgrounds meet and had a ratty filly get antsy on the van waiting for other horses to be ready to load. She was in an early race and we were ready and loaded up for awhile when she started this bucking,weaving, rocking thing that escalated even when I made efforts to shank her meep and talk her down. The meep was tied up with chains on both sides of her halter and had a restraining bar at her chest.

Somehow she got up over the bar and was stuck there, kinda high-centered. As I came around the other side of her to try and hoist some of her weight up and release the bar she lunged and caught me between the eyes with a toe grab. Put a nice little divot in my head and I was still trying to save this cheap-meep herd runner from herself with one finger in the hole in my head when I just couldn't see through the blood anymore and hollered for help.

I went to the track nurse and got 4 stitches and caught the next van to Bowie. Got an added furrow to my brow to this day. It didn't really hurt, it wasn't scary, it just happened. I worked for an old Irishman, Tom Mitchell. Even when horses would tear and slash and gouge pieces out of themselves and each other he just say,"Far from his heart lad, far from his heart," in that lilting County Limerick accent that I could barely understand at first.

So I had early training, and further experience in injuries ain't meep, shut the meep up, suck it up you meep!.

  • nurglets
  • Feb07 '09

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I was on the track in MD, the Timonium Fairgrounds meet and had a ratty filly get antsy on the van waiting for other horses to be ready to load. She was in an early race and we were ready and loaded up for awhile when she started this bucking,weaving, rocking thing that escalated even when I made efforts to shank her meep and talk her down. The meep was tied up with chains on both sides of her halter and had a restraining bar at her chest.

this made me moist

  • Lownotes
  • Feb07 '09

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Once, while drunk, I turned a friend's katana upside down, and the sword fell from the sheath. I reflex grabbed the blade.

Lots of blood, but we all just laughed at my retardedness.

One guy at the party, when I showed him my wound, passed out right there, like he had just received the holy ghost. Turned out he had a weird phobia for blood and wounds which switched him off like a light. It was awesome.

  • JohnLenin
  • Feb07 '09

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I used to be able to handle anything, but after a few traumatic events I've developed some injury/blood-related phobias.

Whenever I see a box cutter open at work, I close it. : (

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:
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