• Swarmed by
  • dre
  • Dec14 '08
  • 36 things

    0 rads

bright star

I was living with this goth chick I met at Crazy Bob's Computer Shack. She was a test case, right down to her pierced meep.

During the day she worked at a bookstore over in the boho section of the city. At night she wore black lace and lots of eyeshadow. Her name was Lycra.

No, really.

Sometimes she'd get all techy, switch to molded rubber corsets and such, maybe some nanopore panties with those little red LEDs scrolling endlessly between her legs.

Every once in awhile, she'd drag out this coarse-cloth Nun's habit, complete with crucifix.

I'll have to admit, I kinda dug it when she wore the Nun getup. Her specialty was bad 1980 ninja movies. I was in love.

Only thing was, I had gotten in kind of a bad way that summer, and was looking for some relief. Then I met this guy at a coffee party.

He was kinda edgy, worked at one of the digital studios over in the valley. Just a flunky, really, did backups at night and made sure the server was watered properly and got enough sunlight. But he had access, and naturally he'd seen how far he could push it.... His name was Riley, and he claimed to have a copy of Courtland Prose's credit PIN.

Courtland was some kind of bigwig suit at one of the networks. Write-ups in Vanity Fair, the Rolex, 12-digit bank account in Zurich... you know, the whole nine yards.

Riley could get at Prose's cash, but wasn't sure of where to put it and not have it traced. I suggested he dump most of the money into the bank accounts of every U.S. citizen who filed less than $6,000 a year on their income tax. It would even out to about $500 a piece, but hey, as far as "tax refunds" go, it didn't suck. Plus it would make tracing all those transactions a real headache for the Feds. Riley thought that was a pretty cool idea. I also suggested he dump 10% off the top into his own bank account. Riley liked me immediately.

Only thing was, he needed a shill, someone to walk into a bank to file the transaction, and in the process get captured on video for time immemorial. I looked across the room at my grrl in black leather and vinyl. She smiled. I winked. We were set.

Riley ran all his hacks and cracks and prepared a digital domeepent of immense complexity. All Lycra had to do was walk into the bank, hand the chip to the teller, and smile for the camera. Simple. Too simple for Lycra.

She spent a week cruising the wig shops down on 4th street and scouting the vintage clothing stores for the right dress. She spent hours upon hours in front of her broken vanity mirror, rearranging color shades on her face to find the perfect combination. This was to be her shining moment, the fab-ninja-cyber action that would put her on the map. She'd be famous, and she wanted the security-cam pic of her face that would undoubtedly stare out from a million different TVs to be as compelling, mysterious and dramatic as possible.

I thought the final result bordered on Japanese animation, but I kept my comments to myself.

Come D-Day, I was nervous. Riley, brave soul, had decided to wait the action out at his apartment. I borrowed my mom's car for the getaway. Lycra held my hand as I pulled to a stop in front of the First Global Community Bank. I felt a huge lump in my throat as she got out of the car. Guilt mixed with fear at the sight of her black-stockinged legs disappearing into the bank entrance. I wanted to yell out to her, ask her to come back. But I didn't. I was greedy.

I wasn't the only one. Seems ol' Riley had cooked up a little side deal with Lycra. My guess was that smart-boy picked her up from the roof in a hovercar. Last I heard they were in Tierra del Fuego.

They got away with it. Lycra had her day in the media spotlight. For months her image graced the world's monitors. I even saw an anonymous e-mail interview with her in Vanity Fair. They ran the pic, the "Patty Hearst" shot, with the story. Dark bangs, a swirl of eyeliner, the sheen of flourescents on leather. A bright star in a dingy world.

Decider: Admin

  • vasudeva
  • Dec14 '08

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Interesting. I like how the time period wasn't clear, up until the hovercar. Reminded me of William Gibson (even before the hovercar).

  • dre
  • Dec14 '08

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William who?

  • JohnLenin
  • Dec14 '08

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  • Heather
  • Dec14 '08

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frown

Now I'm really pissed you got a madonna song in my head.

  • dre
  • Dec14 '08

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if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.

  • dre
  • Dec14 '08

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johnlenin Ha ha hahahahahahaha!

Yes!

Thank you!

  • JohnLenin
  • Dec14 '08

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No problem dude. Let's be bff.

  • GrapeApe
  • Dec14 '08

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commence docking procedures.

  • dre
  • Dec14 '08

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Let's be bff.

Only if I can ride bareback.

  • sugarslim
  • Dec14 '08

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I suspected gibson when you mentioned nanopore panties; this resembles much of his work in Burning Chrome. good read, hope to see more

Reminds me of Walter Jon WIlliams.

Can you do any Jane Austen?

  • Heather
  • Dec15 '08

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Are you Valerie Kane? Or are you just a fan?

  • dre
  • Dec15 '08

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Are you Valerie Kane? Or are you just a fan?

I am Valerie Kane. I guess I shoulda kept the valkane log-in to avoid confusion.

can you do Jane Austen?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll try to fake it. I can do a mean Hunter S. Thompson, but then again, I think most people here can do that as well. Selah!

Hey, anonymous person! Log in and comment.
LOki
on Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?: I know, this is+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Kimmel Shares Maude's meep
tesco
on Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?: Cold fusion may be+
tesco
on The Cost Of Masculine Crime: [@spankerchief](http+
spankerchi+
on Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?: I bet you orderedit+
Cryogeneri+
on Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?: I wouldn't waste+
HOBO
You wish your meep was ripping
BeachGoat
on Adios Ray Manzarek: https://www.youtube.+
Heather
on My man , Skanky.: Same.+
linkswarm
queue: New link: How Islamists get head while in London.
spankerchi+
I'd settle for a hoverboard. -With optional Dogjammer.
spankerchi+
IT'S 2013. Where the meep is the jetpack I was promised?!
bobacus
JOURNAL: My man , Skanky.
LOki
also, dog jamming
pete56
on Interview With Charlie Watts: Great find. Charlie+
StartRecor+
Heather
(my meep)
JohnLenin
But the voice will be muffled on account of the fact that it's all the way inside a meep
JohnLenin
I'm putting you in the sequel as a talking catheter
JohnLenin
I will not be silenced
bobacus
oh shut up.
JohnLenin
Also, if dog jamming is my legacy then I will die happy
JohnLenin
fade out
JohnLenin
A bunch of meeping twats are sitting around sipping tea and making sure that one another is doing well and still in the room
JohnLenin
INT. SOME PLACE WITH MIDDLE AGED DUDES - EVENING
JohnLenin
also, the shoutbox would make a meep awful script.
JohnLenin
I didn't save the link to the script. Will have to reupload. unless someone from irc has it still.
linkswarm
queue: New link: Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?
StartRecor+
BeachGoat
MstrLance
The shoutbox could be a script, if we ever wanted to reenact the shoutbox.
spankerchi+
Linkswarm must live.
Senor_Smok+
While you're at it,fix the camphone thread stuff..kthx
Heather
Where is this LS script?
middle_age+
If a person can 'literally- step on a nail, is it safe to say that one could metaphorically step on a nail?
LOki
@ JohnLenin: Dog jamming. LOL.
spod
The Soul Rapers, great band!
bobacus
I knew I could get a rise out of you.
spankerchi+
Actually; I kinda DO.
MstrLance
You'll all sleep better knowing that JL is silently watching.
JohnLenin
I never bailed. I'm always lurking. Hard to chime in on the Dad-Bro circle. And if you compare me to dagwood again I'll rape your soul.
Cryogeneri+
bobacus
meep you JL. You bailed.You're just like Dagwood.
bobacus
By a state or two.
dragonstaf+
Hey Bobacus, sound off if the twister missed you.
dragonstaf+
JohnLenin
I'd like to cash in all of my unused textwar credits to ban everyone from this webbed establishment
spankerchi+
textwarred tesco until 2013-05-27 22:12:35
tesco
on Why Is It So Hard To Quit Smoking?: Next they will want+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Adios Ray Manzarek
bobacus
It was his rock hall acceptance speech. Its seemingly only on HBO.
dragonstaf+
Link?
bobacus
I want to give the award for the best speech, ever, to Alex Lifeson. I think he found Ozzy's dealer.
Danny_Infe+
Danny_Infe+
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