the swarm will be proud (i kicked her out)

So I kicked my wife out last week...yeah. She finally pushed me too far and I just lost it. I filled her gas tank, put $20 in her hand and told her to GTFO. Since then I've been dodging a bunch of emails from her parents. What it boils down to, is they want her to be my problem again. They dealt with her crazy for 22 years, and I'm sure it was a nice break for me to have to deal with it for once. So now they're doing their best to convince me she's doing better and I should give her another chance. nothx

Here's the first email her mom sent me, watch out it's long!

"Ryan, It is early in the morning and my mind is racing. I know you have been hurt so badly this last year and a half. My daughter has put you through meep and back with her alcohol addiction. She loves you and I know you love her and it hurts me so much to see you both in such pain.

She has done very well since she has come to Birmingham this time and as far as I know she has not toughed a drop. She says she wants to change for God herself and you. She is making things right with God and trying I believe with all she knows to make things better in her life because she sees that this is a one way road to death and to meep on earth and in the afterlife if she doesn't . . She also realizes she is hastening that process by the way she has been living her life and that she has shortened her life by many years just by not living the way she should. I think she really wants to change .

Congratulations on your new placement in the company. I know Becca was looking sooooooo forward to going and picking out a new place that she wanted to make a home and a new start with you and it has been very devastating to her that you do not want to have her with you to enjoy the excitement of the move. She doesn't know I am writing these things to you as usual it is just me and my mind that want stop worrying .We will miss you to morrow. You are a part of our family and we love you and want you and Becca to work this our and have a healthy and long life together. She has had so much loss and she has not dealt with it.

Her biological Dad will never know how much leaving and not letting her know his little girl was not the reason for him leaving has impacted her life. Then having to lose a husband to suicide sleeping with you in another company where they just shoot the authorities so they want have them around didn't help. Being strung out on every drug possible didn't help but to make her forget huge parts of her life and by numbing the pain.

Then something wonderful happened to her a wonderful guy came into her life and swept her off her feet and she thought this would be her happy ever after; but the addiction was there and every time she drank whether in celebration or pain she could not stop. She has hurt you so bad and I am so sorry for that . She and Laura have both tried there best to run the men off in their life because they were afraid they ( becca and Laura) weren't worth staying with . Laura and Bryan had a rocky first year also but now they are headed for 10 years together and although all couples have their ups and downs they are closer than ever but it would not have happened without God in their lives.

If you leave my daughter it will only prove to her that yes I am not worth it. You found her in rehab and fell in love with her in rehab. You knew she was an addict and still you wanted her for your wife. I hope you will sit down and try to make a list of all the things you love about Becca when she is not on alcohol. Then maybe you will see the real Becca the one you fell in love with the one who wants to spend a lifetime with you the one who thought you hung the moon and that with you there would be SWANS!!!!! I'm sorry this seems so jumbled but I am crying so hard I can't see the keys so excuse misspelling. Just know we love you. Becca loves you and is trying to do what she has to be the person you want her to be and to be the person she wants herself to be. I wish you two were looking for this apartment together; This is an exciting and uncertain time for you and I wish you were sharing it together and I know my daughter does too! MY wish and my Payer is that your dreams can come true together.

Even though you feel a since of relief not have to deal with this monster called addiction please try to put it aside and make a list of all the things you love about her and maybe you will want to share this part of your life the one you vowed to share it with. I know she wants to do what is necessary to make that happen and that with or without you she is now determined to make her life what it should be. I love you and will miss you this Thanksgiving and will cry when I hang your and Lily's stocking on the mantle. This is a hard time of year to separate with so many family times involved including your birthday These are not times husbands and wives should be apart. I Love you my son and hope that I will be helping a special couple start anew life in a new place soon. Pleas think on these things. MOM P.S if you change your mind you know there is lots of turkey and dressing and it is time for Tommy the snowman to come out of the closet. He will miss you too! Sorry, I need a little comic relief at this point . Be Safe I love you MOM! Please spend tomorrow thinking of all you have to be thankful for. Well I've got to go start cooking the dinner."

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here's my response...

"Mom,

Too much has happened. There is no telling me that what we have gone through in our short marriage is normal in any way. Yes I knew she was an addict but you know what I made a mistake! A big one. My life is worse now because I married your daughter. I have more pain now because I married your daughter. I have more stress and less happiness now because I stayed with your daughter after she cheated on me, lied to me, treated my daughter poorly, acted like a child and pointed guns at my head.

I'm done. I've given her all the chances I can and yes I love her very much but I can't be with her anymore it's too painful. I don't believe that she's changing because she's seemed better so many times before and then it all goes down the toilet again. She is not ready for marriage she is not ready for me, she is not ready for ANYONE except a therapist. She needs help, and there is nothing that could possibly change in 1 week or 8 that would make me want to take her back right now. I'm sorry I love you and your whole family and I love becca too, but as much as she needs me this is too much for me to bear! You don't even understand the half of it:

-she's pointed a loaded gun at me

-she's physically attacked me and beat me, and then beat herself when I told her I was calling police

-she has lied to me literally thousands of times

-she flat out doesn't like my daughter, and can't even make it an hour without being visibly irritated that she's around

-she's disrespectful

-SHE CHEATED ON ME

-she doesn't hold up her end of the marriage, I praise her when I come home and she's done 1 load of laundry. My house was perpetually filthy and she wasn't even working!

-she's an alcoholic

-she needs therapy! Lots and lots of therapy!

-she doesn't trust me, even though SHE'S the one who cheated

I know you love your daughter and I do to but does this look like a list that would make me want to take her back? After hundreds of chances, hundreds of do overs, hundreds of "I'll make it betters" she's finally broken the line. My heart is decided. I don't know if there's anything she can do to win me back, and there is CERTAINLY nothing she can do to get back in my house anytime soon. Right now, I don't believe she deserves me or the life I was trying to give her. I'm sorry."

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and here is her mom's thinly veiled threats of hellfire, damnation, and a generally uncomfortable divorce in another reply

"Ryan I know all the things that you have told me and I am sorry that my daughter has caused you so much pain. I know you believe Rebecca physically cheated on you but from all I can find out she did not have intimate relations with that boy and I thought you forgave her and wanted to start anew. I appreciate all you have done to be patient with Becca she does have a lot to work on.

But I believe with all my heart that either of you have a right to get a divorce and that if you do you would both have to spend your lives alone. That is very sad to me and you are both so very young and years make people rationalize things and try to figure loop holes where they think that they can remarry. I want both of you to be happy; but I don't see either of you spending the rest of your lives alone because it is long time if the Lord wills. I Love you and I'm sorry this has happened but know that Becca will not agree to divorce you and you can file but she will not signand if she does it will be a very long drawn out thing.

I hate this and God hates divorce. I know I am rambling but my heart hurts so bad right now for both of you and for both of our families.. MOM"

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and a message from my wife on Myspace... restraining order amirite?

"
I wanted to wish you luck in finding your new home. I hope you enjoy yourself. You don't realize what you are doing to me, just as I didn't to you. I will respect your wishes for now. I will continue to become a better person and pray that you can see that I AM MAKING IT BETTER whether you think it's possible or not. I love you so very much and it is killing me that you don't want me. I am worthless in your eyes. That hurts more than you can know.
I'm glad you are able to spend your life without me. Hope you are happy now, because I sure can't help everything I see reminds me of you. EVERYTHING. I would rather you die than just leave me. That way I could move on. Now I can't and you are stuck with that. I love you with all of my heart and soul and you know that we are meant to be together. There is NO denying that and you know it. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. Just give me time. Wait for me. Please. Give me time to make it better.

B"


please appreciate the fact that her last husband committed suicide.

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IN OTHER NEWS! MY WIFE JUST CALLED ME (one hour ago or so), and this is how it went...

"i thought you would think this was funny........you know those little computer air duster thingies? Yeah well..lol...my parents are all pissed because I huffed the rest of their can. Now they're all ready to throw me out on the street ISNT THAT FUNNAY?"

she was doing that "hey I think my 'rents are about to give up on me too so if you wanna jump on in here and tell me to come home that would be awesome" thing....

I just said "hope they don't kick you out!" and hung up.

what a stupid meep.