Ok, I smoked cigerettes for 16 meeping years, incluiding pot, acid, crack and coke, and speed"crank" and whatever else i could ingest at the time. ButI ignoed a problem that has got to the point that I can't ignore anymore. I have a growth in the back of my throat next to the Uvula. I ignored it for abot a year butit got to the point that I gag alot now. Not the gag that you get when someone else throws up. But out o f the blue GaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaG. So the doctor looked at it and said it's either a growth form genitl warts "Holy meep" or from smoking " cancer" but he's not sure. I went to theEars Nose and Throat meeper who said it doesn't look like any STD he's ever seen.
At this point my heart is so meepng deep in the ground I don't know what to think. No pre biopsy is considered because the risk of infection because of the mouth in a human being a cess pool of germs. So I go in on Oct 31 to have My " buddy" removed and than sent out for test.
Straight the meep up I'm scared. I hide it from the people around me. I pulled extra insurance for my daughter in fear that I have cancer and won't make it to much further in the race of life. I looked back on my life and realized that outside of a beutiful daughter I have nothing to show for my being here.
right now I'm just trying to coexist and get through this and see what the results are.
There are few times in my life where I have been mortily scared:
First time being pulled over by the cops for DUI " 16 years old" and my old man greeting me at the front door.
First time crashing a car and the old man greeting me at the front door.
First time throwing a party and the old man finding out about it.
Findind out that my meat slab is preggo with my child.
Being shipped off to boot camp.
Being deployed to the persian gulf and told that chemical weapons aren't a joke.
But this tops the cake with about 1000 candles to blow out in one breath and no presents to open afterwords.
I never thought that I would fall to this level. I remember being young and falling from trees, falling off the roof of the house and even got hit buy a car. Crashing my schwinn bike at terminal velocity onto a ramp of plywood and cynderblocks. The bannana seat raking my back as I skidded for god knows how long on the street. Getting up and laughing as I brushed myself off.
I remember on a test flight for my company on a gulfstream 2 on our approach to the runway looking out the window thinking " Man as low as we are this must look really cool" as the bushes are clearly visable. Than total chaos as we crashed landed and I totaly didn't think that was the end of my less than honorble life.
Now I am forced to wait and wonder... is this it? chemo is my exit ticket in life? No meeping way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I had plans. I had plans to see my daughter graduate school, race the Baja 1000, visit Antartica.
Those are a few immediate things I could think of at the moment.
I am researching meep on the net "total coolness" about alternatives incase this little detour in life is cancerous.
This is my first time with this meep and I am really really scared for the first time in my life about life it self and the meep I have to now hurtle in it. I AM NOT A meepING TRACK STAR GODDAMNIT. GIVE ME SOME EASY meep TO HANDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't want a hug from you meepers