SWARM IS RIGHT I IS WRONG

Remember, dismember.

Ah, but is it your baby?

Hahahaha. I see the Straydog Self-hatred Engine is still humming along nicely. You hate her, she hates her life, she's a huge piece of meep, but if she has a kid, better stick with her. The kid will certainly appreciate such a violent and charming display of family unity and strength of bond from day 1. (Not advice.)

Well, you put a lot of effort into making sure things turned out the way they have, so I guess it's time you kicked back and enjoyed the fruits of your labors, sir. (Also not advice, but pretend I'm wearing a monocle and looking old money.)

What exactly do you mean by "if" it happens again? Why not cut your losses now, and embrace the inevitible. Not much chance you'd lose a paternity suit, from the sound of it.

That's advice, and it sounds suspiciously judicious. You may as well light those words directly on fire and then stuff them right up your own meep with the narrow end of a trombone, making beautiful music all the while, as type them onto this page. :(

lol i think it's hilarious that none of you are focusing on the fact that I smacked her. Dammit she deserved it though for saying what she did :(

i think all of you know by now that a malicious self hating passive agressive life meeper I MAY BE!! but violent, I am not :)

Oh and:

Well.

I am very sorry that you have a small child in the middle of the little self-hate life party you're throwing yourself. And now there's the possibility of an even smaller one. Great job there.

No one is focusing on the fact that you hit her because we all know that you should have left her long ago and such an event was inevitable given your refusal to do so.

I admire your sense of commitment.

Your proclivity for violence is appropriate.

The womb may as well be a coffin.

All systems are go.

PUNCH OUT, MAVERICK!!!

No one is focusing on the fact that you hit her because we all know that you should have left her long ago and such an event was inevitable given your refusal to do so.

meepninja has the right of it. It goes without saying that you shouldn't be slapping meepes, but the rest of the story makes that a minor footnote in a baroque, villainesque tale of xtreem Mountain Dewstruction.

I'd have slapped her too, most likely, but probably because by this point, I'd be seething with hatred and contempt, and would be resolved to find the exit no matter what demon yogurt was a-brew in her loathesome belly.

In fact, slapping that head might have been the first smart thing you've done here. Perhaps an encore is appropriate... one involving a heavy boot in her midsection. And a vigorous push down stairs to seal the deal. Godspeed.

Oh yeah, and I don't mean to kick you while you're down, but the court/law doesn't give a meep whether you were justified in striking her. If she calls the cops, you go to jail, period.

And it doesn't matter that she beat you silly. You are the man, you go to jail. It's not fair, but then again life seldom is.

Now while Vas's comments should not be taken as advice (his words), my comments are the best real life honest advice I can give.

Get out, serve her meep with divorce papers, and fight your meep off for sole custody of your daughter. If half of what you say is true and verifiable, you should have very little trouble with the custody thing.

The longer you wait, the harder it will be on you and your daughter. If you do not get custody, then your problems are only just beginning.

dude, you are clearly a retard. Chicks lie about being pregnant all the time, especially the CRAZY ones. Also, child support payments are much better than dealing with a meepty meeped up life - I can't speak from experience, but I can assume (with 100% certainty) that this is true. Not to mention that you have a strong case against paying her, and the fact that the baby might not be yours anyway. Cut your meeping losses and get the meep outa dodge, bro. And take your meep daughter with you.

P.S. - A KO slap? C'mon, that wasn't no slap now, was it?

I recommend this book to anyone seeking answers or advice or attention, on the internet:

You hit her and yor not a wife beater? Your an idiot for letting it go this far. Dump her meep and get a restraining order. Easier to put her in jail that way.

acid it was just a reflex thing, i mean I can't really say anything more. I don't know if you have kids but imagine if you will that you did (maybe you do) and somebody said to your face with as much hate as they could muster "meep your meep son/daughter".

my little girl is completely innocent in all this and I won't stand for ANYONE saying those sorts of things about her, and especially not if they're doing it to my face.

I am for the most part a pacifist. I avoid conflict like the plague, and in turn these huge problems bubble up and eventually boil over the side of the pot, causing instances like these. At the moment she said that, slapping her was the only way I could adequately convey to her how much she just meeped up. If I was a wife beater I would have responded to her BEGS for me to hit her again with an "OK meep HERE YA GO". But I didn't because I don't believe in that sort of thing. The first slap was a gut wrench reaction to an extremely offensive comment, much like your gut wrench reactions to seeing meep in the open (getting on your knees).

So you really just want to discuss the slap?

What are you getting out of all of this? I mean, are you so filled with fear you can't imagine punching reset on your life?

You slapped her so hard you meeped up her cognitive functions over some harsh words. There is no salvaging that.

Seek an abortion clinic, then a lawyer and never look back. If you don't do these things, you don't get to ask for advice any more.

If you don't do these things, you don't get to ask for advice any more.

It's a valuable insight, but sadly, you're a bit late. We reached "No longer has permission to ask humans for advice" sometime in late 2005, I believe.

The first slap was a gut wrench reaction to an extremely offensive comment, much like your gut wrench reactions to seeing meep in the open (getting on your knees).

What the meep?

Your M.O. is to come up on here--post the sundry lowlights of your soap opera life--provoke disbelief, hatred and anger-- then defend your stupid meep.

I find this behavior painfully similar to a woman that would provoke abuse with words she knows will cut to the bone, then bathe afterward in the glow of self-righteousness and victimhood.

You knew exactly the kind of response this meep would illicit when you posted it.

Take your beating.

And it doesn't matter that she beat you silly. You are the man, you go to jail. It's not fair, but then again life seldom is.

These days they will actually very gladly arrest and charge her as well, especially if he's covered with bruises. And actually, if he can show that she's not fit to have the daughter by herself, he could very well end up on the better side of the law (notice, not the good side).

you're right, I should have just come back with a "hay guys!!!" and that's it right? i've been coming here long enough that people might wonder what has happened in my life. My only intention was to update, not illicit advice. I knew exactly what you assholes would say, which is probably why I named the journal "swarm is right i is wrong" because, you know, you guys told me to avoid this situation from the very beginning AND YOU WERE RIGHT!!!

happy? I should have never seen this G.P., i should have certainly never married her, and I should have kicked her out the moment she cheated on me. The swarm was right on all points. I know this is a relatively harsh site, but take it easy guys I thought you all would be happy to see me back.

I thought you all would be happy to see me back.

Certainly -- it's just that, lol. Your capacity for willful self-abnegation is what makes you special. Some time ago I euthanized any reasonable hope of seeing you act on the dozens of manhours of advice-giving your many hilarious IRC sessions and journal posts have generated, and am now simply happy to enjoy the intermittent updates you provide as the deluxe trainwreck you've carefully designed collapses around you in slow motion. You should change your forum title to 'Shadenfreude Voodoo Doll' when you level back up. Let's make the most of it!

I'm glad to see you back, even if you are going to be murdered with an axe probably.

Do you know who's baby it is?

Dog,

I'm gonna get all uber ghey serious about this, because you felt the need to reach out and give voice to this problem and I feel that means you want it addressed.

I know that I am not a confidant of yours, and I really do not know the whole story of your current relationship, or who you are as a person, but I do have some insight borne both of experience and my own endeavors in psychology.

Your problem is can seem simple to many. However, merely being human makes it very complex.

To many it may seem that you have two choices: A: Get out of this relationship that is destructive to both you and your lady and your kid. B: Stay in the relationship and things will run their course. To what end? Who knows, the future is not yet written. However, one may conjecture that the "end" won't be good.

In reality nothing is ever as simple as just the choices you have in front of you.

Leaving any long term relationship is very very hard, especially when marriage and children are parts of the relationship you are in. As human beings we seem to cling to these types of destructive and codependent relationships long past the time we should have parted ways for the better of all involved. Maybe part of you still loves her, or maybe you can't bear the gargantuan task of the process of ending a marriage and moving on? I don't know what your reasons are for ever seeing this woman again. You could elaborate here, but really you should seek professional help for yourself. A good psychologist (not a psychiatrist) would be the best avenue to follow in order to discover the root cause of why you are still involved in this relationship. I would look for someone who is more interested in behavioral psychology, not a Freudian or a Jungian. You want someone who will actively give you mental tools to deal with the issues at hand, not someone who is willing to let you discover your own issues via merely asking endless questions. You want someone who will focus mainly on you, not someone who will search for people or experiences in your past that may have influenced your current self.

The only advice that I could offer you in this journal, right now, is to put a stop to this relationship. It needs to be over and you must move on. The reasons for doing so are almost endless:

• - The trust that a marriage or long term relationship relies on has been broken in apparently numerous ways.
• - It seems clear that the relationship is in a state that cannot be recovered from.
• - Continuing this relationship in any manner, wether by phone or in person, will only bring harm to you, the lady, and your child.
• - It seems clear that the relationship was over quite some time ago, and you need to let go.

What it all comes down to, is your decision. Can you distance yourself from this person no matter how hard, no matter how scary, no matter whatever residual feelings may exist? It is my opinion that you need to end this relationship in a healthy manner. You need to end it legally and without any violence on your part. If the place you live in is solely yours, change the locks and only converse with this woman ONLY via an arbiter. No phone. No email. No letters. No texting. No IM's. Yes you'll need a lawyer, but most of all you will need a support system of some sort, hopefully involving a good personal board certified talk therapist, that can help you move past this very hard part of your life. If you can do this, try and remember that this is the best thing for everyone involved and that it is not an act of malice.

I wish you only the best in whatever you decide. I know what a destructive relationship can do to a person, and I know how hard these decisions can be. I feel for you man.

Note: My advice above sets aside the fact that your reflex to react with violence to mere words needs to be addressed. This is indeed a fact and not a debatable subject. I understand your need to justify the one instance, but you must realize that if it can happen once, even if you move on to another completely happy relationship, it can just as easily happen again. Or worse, this natural reflex of violence, could unleash itself on others that you hold even more dear. This is not a debate, you need to address this issue with professional care. I know that reads like I am talking down to you, but I am only writing to you with honest hope that you can make a better life. Much respect, and good luck.

There are a few things a male should never do in his life - meep his kids, meep his pets or beat his wife.

Strike one, I hope.

You admit that the swarm was right. So use your head and use the advice this time instead of defending the fact that hitting your wife gave you a secret little hard-on. You're headed down a meeped up road, and there are only so many more exits before you have to ride this thing out until you run out of gas. It's great that you're back, but if sharing an update of where you've been triggers this much intervention, don't you think some meep is up? Being the only one to defend your actions doesn't make you strong or wise, it makes you ignorant. People always meep and whine about their meepty lives, all the while ignoring the little things here and there than can make their life so much better. Don't be a meep up. Do something while you still can. Sorry if I sound like a meep, but you really need some positive journal entries. Good luck getting there.

I am very glad to see you back Dog, since your life is more meeped up than mine... well almost... maybe not! I take comfort in knowing there is another Train Wreck in the Swarm who can't meeping get it right or listen to all of the semi good advice given by all the LS Dr. Phil's.