alcoholism

WELCOME ABOARD IT'S LOVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

alcoholism is the symptom, not the root of the problem. Perhaps sitting on the couch every day doing nothing is a good reason to get blitzed.

If you got $20,000 lying around The Betty Ford Clinic has a decent inpatient program, otherwise, it's all up to her.

Best wishes, Comrade.

sitting on her meep every day is what she wants apparently. I can't get her to get a job. She complains about not having anything to do, says she's "trying" to get a job but she's not really. She just sits at home. I mean, she cook now and then and will do laundry and stuff when I ask her, but for the most part her life is carefree. She sits by the pool, and watches tv and basically does whatever teh meep she wants. What's so bad about that? I'd love that life!

I work 70 hours a week so she can sit at home, watch soap operas and get blitzed then lie to me about it? uh uh

Marriage is radical I'll be sure and try it!

Mr. McDeath, in your case it would be more like

"I work 70 hours a week so he can sit at home, order Samurai Swords off QVC, then stick them up Chilean mine worker's assholes, without ME BEING THERE??? OH HERLLL NO BIYITCH."

Yes, but in this case it's not me, it's you who is stuck to live with and support forever a lazy person. By law

QED.

"i love her very much. we are very much happy together and happy being married. However this is an issue that overtime will kill her or destroy our marriage."

You ever consider a life insurance policy?

The root cause is the fact that she really doesnt HAVE to do anything. Idle minds are the devils workshop. She has to get out doing something, even if it is a hobby and not a job. It starts with the alcohol and then will transform into something bigger (another drug). She is using the alcohol right now to replace what she lost with her D.O.C.

Healthy liver:

Liver w/Hepatitis C and Cirrhosis:

WOW. Fuking ImageShack. Feel free to kill the first one, SD. Sorry.

Healthy LIver:

Liver w/Hepatitis C and Cirrhosis:

You love her the way she is now or you love her the way she was when she was indeed clean and sober? She is obviously no longer sober and her behavior is putting a strain on a brand new marriage. Drinking and then lying about it is only the start of your nightmare. Should she happen to get in an accident while driving and kill someone... guess who gets stuck with the bills? Your wife does not have a job, so I guess you would be the one to pay her debts and fines.

In order for you to be able to HELP her she has to first admit there is a problem. It does not sound as if she is willing to admit to you she is even drinking or drunk.

Yeah yeah, marriage vows and all that meep...

Dude... this is some serious meep and I am not sure you really understand just what it is you are up against. It is going to get much worse before it gets better, if it ever even gets better at all. I would suggest that you file for divorce NOW and get the meep out before become broken from having to take care of a booze bag wife.

Take her drunk meep home and drop her off with her family and let them deal with her meep. If she wants to sit around the house all day drinking her last liver and brain cells let the family buy the booze and deal with her obnoxious behavior.

You might also consider she lied to you about her drinking prior to the marriage and hide it very well and if so you might be able to get the whole meepting thing annulled.

The fl_prejekt got it right. Most alkies can't do drugs, and most addicts can't drink. This is just switching addictions.You might try an outpatient program if you can't swing a inpatient program.

""Dude... this is some serious meep and I am not sure you really understand just what it is you are up against. It is going to get much worse before it gets better, if it ever even gets better at all. I would suggest that you file for divorce NOW and get the meep out before become broken from having to take care of a booze bag wife. "" --prof. dumbskull

oh she knowes that one personal! and remember that drama! I say you get that woman some professional help and get her family to help you out--but don't be a meep bag and just throw away something you love because it got a little dirty.

Don't be as selfish as the addict, unless that's they type of person you are. Petty feeble minds run away from their problems, big masochistic ones take them head-on.

Try this: 1) stop buying any alkyhol. Lock down the valuables, get a storage unit and move anything of value you want to keep [guns, safes, tvs, etc] so the fiend won't pawn it off to buy booze.

meep, challenge the lady--say you are giving up the drinking 100% and you want her too. Drinking priveldges are revoked!

That will bring this to a head... 2) get the friends and family to help you. find her some outpatient, local, ywca, church, social service type of thing to help people with dependencies. She's likely going to be an addict all her life and cigarrettes, booze and heroin all get you there, just at different speeds.

3) leave if it doesn't work.

You should check out Al-Anon because your there is another word for that 'just tying to help adittude', its called co-dependence and it would seem you enable her behavior by buying/consuming alcohol with her. And you never know, you might have and alcohol problem too.

As for her, well, if she dosent seem to think there is a problem you better startmaking divorce or funeral arrangements or get yourself a great shrink....'cause shes just getting warmed up.

Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions or whatever, ill just share what worked for me, no preaching :).

All that beer will make her fat - feed her liquor instead.

What Phil said. Do it, all three steps. It's worth a shot but she won't get over it unless she wants too. I know, my dad was a dysfunctional alocholic too. Don't allow yourself to suffer in that situation, life's too short to waste entangled with dysfunctional types. You can love them and still send them on their way; not taking on the dysfunction of others is NOT necessarily selfish.

"we are very much happy together and happy being married." I am gonna go out on a limb here and call denial on that. She may be great when sober, but how often has that been?

best wishes dood.

okay I need to be clearer here. She really is an awesome girl. And she has lied about drinking maybe 3 or 4 times in the last 4 months. It's not happening every day or even every week. I know this because I talk to her on a regular basis throughout my day and I can tell very easily when she's drunk or even buzzed.

I could stop buying alcohol, but I like to drink :(

It sucks I have to give up something I can control so that she can be normal. She does have a lot of things that have happened in her life that I don't think she has really delt with completely or even at all. Maybe some therapy is in order.

Absolutely.

lord. if it's not one thing it's another. She hasn't drank in like 4 days because I asked her not to. However, something else has happened last night.

She is prescribed clonozepam for a very real reason. She has panic disorder. She is prescribed 90 a month. We picked up the prescription yesterday. They are basically like zanaz but not quite as drowsyish.

She ate 34 yesterday, but still seemed completely normal. They make her feel really good, she says, but she eats them all like this and inside a week they are gone. Then, when she has a panic attack, I get stuck dealing with it and trying to help her without the aid of her medicine.

You'd think hating yourself would be undesired.

Well, it's nice she's found various ways to dope herself up after "kicking" her drug of choice.

CHOO CHOO

OK..., uh..., When I referred to my group therapy elsewhere it is related to severe alcohol abuse on my part. I spent YEARS the way I previously was: afraid, isolated, hopeless. No amount of love or caring or negative consequences seemed pull me out. I had crappy relationships with everyone, my family and people I'd known for twenty years. But, thanks to psychotropic drugs, therapy and the continual support of my family I have become "better". I hate that word really, I have become more me. I could go into all the things that have changed for me in the last year. But, why bore me with the details. Now that I have established my street cred, Stray you are in for a ride. I can totally relate to what your wife is going through. However, you are living in complete denial of how bad it is for her, regardless of how bad it is for you. You are handing her the keys to the gas chamber (I apologize to my Jew-friends, think of fluffy drug-testing bunnies). You may be faced with some severe life changes to retain your relationship with her. And, you may be forced to confront some disturbing realities about your part in all this. This can be whatever you want it to be, but you have to be willing to be honest about your feelings. You can't control her, you can't control anything. All you can do is say what you want and decide what your values are and honor them. Your lady has not hit her bottom, and the bottom is different for everyone. Mine was watch my mother looking helpless and her sobbing, afraid I was gonna die. Thank god I have shed much of the fear and what-not that was holding me back, so I can now bit all the hands that have fed me. But, it now MY choice. Good Luck, really! I'm willing to share anything that might help you or just listen. Just make sure that I care at that particular moment, or don't take it personally.

Kisses!

And, before any of you meep-Monkeys can diss me. meep all you nazi spellcheckers and short-fingered grammarians!

Peace Out.

On the contrary, meepameep, I like the way you hyphenate "Jew-friends".

Like, you got your friends... then, you got your Jew-friends.

Strangely enough, I don't have meep-friends, I have "meep-buddies" 'cause, as you know, the way meep people relate to each other is to drug each other and insert things into each others rectums, including our penises. Maybe if Straydog's wifey-poo spent some quality time with some local gays, she wouldn't look as drunk or they could get he on a more functional drug meeptail. At least she could screw up her life with panache.

You're not devolving into meep schtick this early in the game, are you/

Is there another schtick you would prefer? I shared from an honest place. I paid my debt. It's time to get bizzle!

You just like saying schtick because it sounds like the peepee word.

How about no schtick at all?

Me am schtick.

how about you idiots stop flirting in my journal?

You're right, I'm sorry. You were in the middle of describing how you're painstakingly constructing what will one day soon be the flaming wreckage of your tortured life come hep or high firewater.

Pray, continue.

Seriously, Dog, you're gonna need your sense of humor now more than ever. I'm not a twelve-stepper. I view them much like any other soul-selling evangelist, trading one addiction for another. But..., what works for me, may not work for another. I have seen the twelve step paradigm work for many people to pick up the wreckage of their lives. You might consider reconnoitering a meeting of, say, Al-Anon. The point is that you need a seperate place to process your junk, seperate from family, friends and co-workers. They can get quickly burnt out and resentful from the drama of your co-dependent couples dynamic. Take care of yourself first. Be selfish. Now is the time.

"I could stop buying alcohol, but I like to drink :("

Try to quit drinking for a awile and set an example. You really should ask yourself...what's more important here, me having a 'few' drinks or attempting to save my marriage? The answer may suprise you.

Good luck brother...it's only going to get worse. Gauranteed.

Just a side note - with quitting smoking I can see how a number of the techniques I'm using would help beat any addiction.

Read "Quit Smoking the Easy Way" by Allan Car - incidently I believe he also has a quit drinking the easy way book too. Rather than addressing the problems that your wife is aware of he puts why she does it into question then mentions that non smokers live a blissful life without smoking etc.

dammnnnn....

i've been gone too long. qwerty is writing intelligible posts now?

Whoa, you posted on the internets without tales of calamity or woe.

snap

So it's become worse because now she's eating her anti-psychotics instead of boozing...

I betcha those cost more than a 1/5 of Skoal vodkaggh.

And people don't get those anti-psycho pills over the counter, have you brought up the issue to her or her psycho-doktor? Panic attacks eh? that really stinks what else is she on?

If you can't tell by now, she's infected with the junk-sickness that tugs from her insides to the Airvents above boy's locker rooms, there she squats to lick and flutter her probiscus catching small flecks of happiness and light from the decaying husks of urinal cakes and molded jockstraps.

Dad, get off the internets.

she's stopped drinking now. I've found that if it isn't around she's not fiending for it. So I just don't buy it anymore. I will occasionally buy a 12 pack but if I do I can only count on getting 4 lol. Once they're gone however I do not buy anymore and it hasn't been a problem so far. we'll see

Not to add to your unfortunate series of marrital events, but.... You JUST got married and not only is she drinking heavily, but you're conversing on this site with other people about her without her knowledge. You need real help beyond the linkswarm crew. Marraige counseling is my best advice to you. You say you're happily married, that both of you are, but obviously you're not healthily married. Get counseling so you can have both happiness and health, because you seem like a genuinely good person who wants to have a stable, good life. DO IT, meepARATCHI! DO IT OR WE KEEL YOU!

who wants to have a stable, good life.

lal? There are gaps in your IRC attendance which I think explain this fuzzy but disastrously inappropriate statement.

Vasudeva: lal? There are gaps in your IRC attendance which I think explain this fuzzy but disastrously inappropriate statement.

Lal indeed! You see, silly meep, my job - which does not allow me much access to a computer (and therefore IRC) at this time - has absolutely nothing to do with my marriage. If straydog has been divulging considerably more information about his situation in IRC which I've missed, then I can see why my comment may seem delivered with less than appropriate knowledge. Since the case is that I was simply commenting with the knowledge I DID have - that being what's in this thread and what advice I can give being a newlywed myself - my comment is appropriate enough.
And I'll try to get back into IRC more often. If in fact your comment was a veiled request for my presence, which is unlikely. Fluffy bunnies. That is all.

Posts like the above are indicators you need to take up knitting to keep your brain occupied with something productive.

How are things straydildo? Is she still 'stopped' drinking? Enlighten us with fun.

Cover your meep, she will become bitter and resentful, but you din't agree to incur major damages from an obliterated individual when you got married. Tough love helps, be there for her, but don't leave yourself too exposed. Alcoholics and addicts have more manipulations and schemes than you could ever(have to) imagine. Don't waste a lot of money on treatment, the purpose of nearly all of them is to remove a person's access for a period, let the head clear a bit, then introduce them to AA or NA. People poohpooh these programs as cults and in a way they qualify, but it is more than mildly reassuring to one afflicted to discover that they are not alone. Sharing, thoughts and feelings and having resources and support to solve problems give one the opportunity to have a life worth living., only to trash it all again with the next senseless spree. Good luck with that

she hasn't been drinking. so far so good......

Well, your 30 day chip is in the mail.

Like many people, i have some experience living with and being around alcoholics. I did not read everyone's post. But i would have to say i agree totally with dumbskull. It's really difficult to change when you are motivated. How much more difficult is it when your not 100% into changing and just getting constant flack from a loved one? Alot of people kick it for awhile, but end up going back, that's simply the sad truth. You gotta take care of yourself. It's your life in the end. And i know the word 'enabling' makes me squirm as well. But that's what a lot of us end up doing. Ringo Starr once said that you can always tell when an alcoholic is lying - their lips are moving.

sounds to me like she broke up with the poolboy

Functional alchoholics have produced some of the greatest works of art (a large chunk of those being literati) in our known history.

Never discount that, but beware the down time. There's nothing but destruction there.

Yeah! Some of our best Presidents were alcoholics! uh..., Yeah!