• Swarmed by
  • Lownotes
  • Dec25 '05
  • 1058 things

    46k rads

Nomads

I wrote a new short story for you to enjoy.

Decider: Admin

  • qwerty
  • Dec25 '05

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So much detail and character depth. However it seemed forced at points. With you're style of writing you could write erotica professionally!

  • Lownotes
  • Dec25 '05

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Tell me where it seemed forced. I'd like to take out any false walls.

  • Dumbskull
  • Dec25 '05

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Don't listen to Qwerty he doesn't know how to read.

Bloody brilliant. I wish I could write like that ( I wish I could write at all ) .

this is good stuff.

read the divingbell and the meeperfly written, most herorically, by a Jean Dominique Bauby, one paralized by a stroke and only able to communicate by the blinking of his left eye...

he managed to write a short book of 29 chapters by only blinking an eye--this my lownote friend, is a big deal. The kind that make prizes won, the kind that don't matter a flying meep in the whirl of the emotions around being around! I liked your story about the convalescent, the able but weak, the mentally challenged by the fury of living and the blindness of strife and the submission unto greater progress.

There are of course real examples, this is one, read it . It's worth it, but be prepared to be "low" for a day at least. I concur with the qwerty on the focus shifting about parts being played into for background that took themselves into forward focus--it's not going to be easy to do, so keep on doing it, I think it's not bad enough to mark as a "bad thing" actually, I encourage you to continue!

I enjoyed it, so despite whatever the meeps say, keep beating yourself up and churning this stuff out.

  • Lownotes
  • Dec26 '05

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Thank you much.

I'm still up in the air about the asides. I put them in there as choruses - something to read instead of a blank space to indicate time had passed. I love them, so it is hard to go through and delete them. I'll just have to let it sit and age for a while before I decide.

keep them.

only write what you enjoy to read--and more importantly, write. even if its a book full of only asides what matters is that the book/story/episode has come its full course.

I think the ability to interspace them will be the challenge though. Like cooking a fancy cake, or lasagana, there are layers and elements that occur only in spots but manage to transcend the whole--what are the elements that transcend and how do they do that?

That's the secret of the "secret" sauce, it's the interplay of elements that become greater than the sum; the resulting roar from the breath, the quivering and trembling afftereffects of the thunder--would we really be able to gauge anything by it's mere existence? or do we divine the occurence of greatness by the side dishes? The little specks of light, the motes of upset--those rustling pidgeons, that unlike us, are more delecate indicators of great movement?

If the villagers had realized that all the animals had fled, there would have been fewer tsunami victims a boxing-day ago... In the woods when the crickets stop chirping, there is a big thing nearby--it's probably you, but notice it. And then patent it, make it an assembly line process and you can be stephen king! [I am joking, i hope].

  • Tango
  • Dec27 '05

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More excellant work. Good mind.

Hey, anonymous person! Log in and comment.
dragonstaf+
He does do a pretty good job of nailing the landing, though.
JohnLenin
what an idiot
dragonstaf+
http://www.liveleak.com/ll_embed?f=8d93bfca0cb5
linkswarm
queue: New link: Kiddie's book about armed parenthood
dragonstaf+
LOki
on Can We Call the U.S. a Police State Yet?: MORE THAN 6,500 SWAT+
LOki
mundrah
linkswarm
queue: New link: Video Killed Trust in Police Officers
linkswarm
queue: New link: Facebook Will Test "Satire" Tags, So Idiots Will Stop Sharing Articles Like They're Real
dragonstaf+
dragonstaf+
MstrLance
spankerchi+
MstrLance
JohnLenin
aren't you supposed to be sober n meep?
dragonstaf+
on The Rise of the Phoenix: I have to admit+
dragonstaf+
meepbox
I've got that good kush and alcohol
linkswarm
queue: New link: Armed Liberian meepgots release ebola infected meepgots.
meeproach
on Well, Mork's dead.: Yeah but raging+
middle_age+
Alphagetti makes me bumpee
spankerchi+
Me alpha.
HOBO
on Well, Mork's dead.: Robin Williams+
sunny77
dnw
JohnLenin
watch your verbiage. That meep'll go right to their heads.
JohnLenin
watch your verbiage. That meep'll go right to their heads.
BeachGoat
Hives with the queen Bees in conjunction; Runs when the Alpha Males conflict.
BeachGoat
I have been having an unexplained groin itch lately, and Sunny & Heather together again put it all in place.
JohnLenin
lolhai
Heather
hello
sunny77
hi heather!
Heather
fuuuuuuuuuu
sunny77
:)
JohnLenin
and I don't write them I just translate the magical tablets I found in my yard
JohnLenin
that's meeping retarded go away
sunny77
jon, i reckon a more fitting name for linkswarm drama...let it be "revelation 9"
JohnLenin
I wax my entire body like a civilized person
spankerchi+
Yay summer.
spankerchi+
You ever get so chaffed that you start pinching off tufts of taint hair?
LOki
on Well, Mork's dead.: ...& "...making+
JohnLenin
on Well, Mork's dead.: "'Robin's sobriety+
sunny77
on Well, Mork's dead.: i am drunk and+
sunny77
on Well, Mork's dead.: *Oh captain, my+
sunny77
on Well, Mork's dead.: *That was so surreal+
StartRecor+
on Well, Mork's dead.: [What a nice+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Can We Call the U.S. a Police State Yet?
linkswarm
queue: New link: English poofer Dies After Vibrator Gets Stuck In meep
JohnLenin
Next up: Driving a speedboat on the freeway
spankerchi+
I'm told that dirtbike forks have this magical property called "travel".
spankerchi+
Knees and ankles hurt, but nothin' a cool pimp stick won't fix.
spankerchi+
Well, I never laid it down, anyway.
spankerchi+
I remembered the bit about slowing down and not leaning...then dipmeep started pulling ahead and...
dragonstaf+
Also: Lauren Bacall DED
dragonstaf+
As long as your legs are OK, forks can be replaced. Did my comments on dirt riding help?
spankerchi+
Also: I need new forks.
spankerchi+
But HOLY meep it was fun trying.
spankerchi+
Today I learned that a cruiser can NOT in fact keep up with a dirt bike on a dirt road.
JohnLenin
Except this one I'm doing sober
JohnLenin
I'm going ahead and starting a third one
sunny77
"this is the wotak"
LOki
Let the LOLZ commence!
spankerchi+
JohnLenin
Read them in order or they'll be even less coherent.
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