• Swarmed by
  • Lownotes
  • Dec25 '05
  • 1058 things

    46k rads

Nomads

I wrote a new short story for you to enjoy.

Decider: Admin

  • qwerty
  • Dec25 '05

    posts

    0 rads

    0 rads

    #

So much detail and character depth. However it seemed forced at points. With you're style of writing you could write erotica professionally!

  • Lownotes
  • Dec25 '05

    posts

    46k rads

    45980 rads

    #

Tell me where it seemed forced. I'd like to take out any false walls.

  • Dumbskull
  • Dec25 '05

    posts

    29.8k rads

    29786 rads

    #

Don't listen to Qwerty he doesn't know how to read.

Bloody brilliant. I wish I could write like that ( I wish I could write at all ) .

this is good stuff.

read the divingbell and the meeperfly written, most herorically, by a Jean Dominique Bauby, one paralized by a stroke and only able to communicate by the blinking of his left eye...

he managed to write a short book of 29 chapters by only blinking an eye--this my lownote friend, is a big deal. The kind that make prizes won, the kind that don't matter a flying meep in the whirl of the emotions around being around! I liked your story about the convalescent, the able but weak, the mentally challenged by the fury of living and the blindness of strife and the submission unto greater progress.

There are of course real examples, this is one, read it . It's worth it, but be prepared to be "low" for a day at least. I concur with the qwerty on the focus shifting about parts being played into for background that took themselves into forward focus--it's not going to be easy to do, so keep on doing it, I think it's not bad enough to mark as a "bad thing" actually, I encourage you to continue!

I enjoyed it, so despite whatever the meeps say, keep beating yourself up and churning this stuff out.

  • Lownotes
  • Dec26 '05

    posts

    46k rads

    45980 rads

    #

Thank you much.

I'm still up in the air about the asides. I put them in there as choruses - something to read instead of a blank space to indicate time had passed. I love them, so it is hard to go through and delete them. I'll just have to let it sit and age for a while before I decide.

keep them.

only write what you enjoy to read--and more importantly, write. even if its a book full of only asides what matters is that the book/story/episode has come its full course.

I think the ability to interspace them will be the challenge though. Like cooking a fancy cake, or lasagana, there are layers and elements that occur only in spots but manage to transcend the whole--what are the elements that transcend and how do they do that?

That's the secret of the "secret" sauce, it's the interplay of elements that become greater than the sum; the resulting roar from the breath, the quivering and trembling afftereffects of the thunder--would we really be able to gauge anything by it's mere existence? or do we divine the occurence of greatness by the side dishes? The little specks of light, the motes of upset--those rustling pidgeons, that unlike us, are more delecate indicators of great movement?

If the villagers had realized that all the animals had fled, there would have been fewer tsunami victims a boxing-day ago... In the woods when the crickets stop chirping, there is a big thing nearby--it's probably you, but notice it. And then patent it, make it an assembly line process and you can be stephen king! [I am joking, i hope].

  • Tango
  • Dec27 '05

    posts

    0 rads

    0 rads

    #

More excellant work. Good mind.

Hey, anonymous person! Log in and comment.
BeachGoat
Oh, and Hi, there, meep-O.
BeachGoat
Message:Happy AnkleVersy, Mr. Lance. 28 Years is a long time to be a True Magical Being
middle_age+
meep-tastic meepballs of meep meepting meep, meep meeped an already meepty day.
spankerchi+
But I DID make it much, much shorter.
spankerchi+
I didn't make his day any better.
spankerchi+
This morning I met a pitt mix on the road who was having a bad day.
linkswarm
queue: New link: It's The 2015 Social Justice Kitty Calender
Crapalicio+
meep your meeping meeps, meepers
sunny77
immediately dismissed it as some trolling meep
sunny77
also i got upset today at woolies i saw someone who looked like billy corgin stocking the produce aisle
sunny77
it wasn't ever an offer. no matter how many times you kick a chihuahua, its still dumb enough to come back and meep on your feet
StartRecor+
i think your first offer was better
spankerchi+
I love you guys <3
sunny77
you're right. it can be misinterpreted by esl retards. maybe "burn in meep" or "castrate yourself" would be more effective
StartRecor+
I've been assuming those were offers.
sunny77
i've been sayin that for years
Crapalicio+
srsl
Crapalicio+
meep you guys
sunny77
on New Favorite Gif: onlydatethatmattersK9q.gif
sunny77
on u put pitcures here: tumblrnidxd2uekc1re0Fauth.jpg
sunny77
linkswarm 2015: fail, cancer and aids
sunny77
on YouTube graveyard and cadaver exchange: meepin' wasps. gtfo+
sunny77
on YouTube graveyard and cadaver exchange: just because, for my+
sunny77
Crapalicio+
sunny77
okcupid and meepmatch are not how i want to experience the entire spectrum of human emotion, so i don't
sunny77
i KNOW
HOBO
Ya think?
sunny77
lets talk about how linkswarm is made up bullmeep
spankerchi+
on Life-altering moment.: I'm still kinda+
Steel
on Life-altering moment.: GO GO GO GO!+
Steel
Steel
spankerchi+
Fully legit self-pity. Free for the wallowing in!
spankerchi+
Lady Slaughter told me that one.(I don't wanna talk about it) But hey, there's always internet dating! You could run the whole gamut of excitement, desire, intrigue, shock, betrayal and disillusion. That's always fun...!
sunny77
no, we aren't
spankerchi+
We're having meep, 'cause I'm stronger than you.
spankerchi+
Roses are red, violets are blue...
spankerchi+
Maybe a poem will cheer you up.
sunny77
i have a disregard for all holidays. its the same meep every year
sunny77
we bees are part of a human/bee hybrid eugenics program. its not difficult to see who the control group is
spankerchi+
Mobile dikkery =/= PC dikkery
spankerchi+
Happy Bday sunny. Here's hoping your vaginal irritation is moderate on this wonderful Valentine's Day weekend. Here's hoping your ever-present vaginal irritation is moderate to mild this fine Valentines Day weekend!
sunny77
mine's not detachable so i wont die though
sunny77
we bees tend to have our stingers out most of the time
sunny77
thank you dent :)
dent
and meep everyone else
dent
Habby Bday Sunny
spankerchi+
Those bees are vicious little kamikazi meeps.
spankerchi+
I don't want to have to resort to effing up the lines on my bike by adding a windshield, but meep it, I swear the FIRST goddamned day it was warm enough to ride, the farmers all decided to put out all their bee boxes.
spankerchi+
on The Rise of the Phoenix: Well, since+
Crapalicio+
LORDKAHUNA
on The Rise of the Phoenix: XFwomnI.jpg
LORDKAHUNA
on The Rise of the Phoenix: This makes me miss+
LORDKAHUNA
Greetings from your benevolent meeplord
LOki
LINK: BoozeCoin
spankerchi+
StartRecor+
HOBO
Happy Birthday to Sunny77. Show us your meep. again .
linkswarm
queue: New link: Manson wedding called off due to...well, EVIL.
sunny77
i am sensing that some people's sarcasm detectors are borked
sunny77
perhaps we can all watch star wars and draw conclusions from that
sunny77
or until the endtimes
StartRecor+
You will suffer the wrath of Xenu forevermore
BeachGoat
linkswarm
queue: New link: The Swede, The Spy, Vodka, and 45 Million Cash
HOBO
Fudge on your finger
sunny77
linkswarm.com: attention meeps anonymous
linkswarm
queue: New link: Why Every Movie Looks Sort Of Orange And Blue
linkswarm
queue: New link: BoozeCoin
  • startrecor+

  • sunny77

  • sunny77

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • beachgoat

  • beachgoat

  • spankerchi+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • beachgoat

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+