• Swarmed by
  • Lownotes
  • Dec25 '05
  • 1058 things

    46k rads

Nomads

I wrote a new short story for you to enjoy.

Decider: Admin

  • qwerty
  • Dec25 '05

    posts

    0 rads

    0 rads

    #

So much detail and character depth. However it seemed forced at points. With you're style of writing you could write erotica professionally!

  • Lownotes
  • Dec25 '05

    posts

    46k rads

    45980 rads

    #

Tell me where it seemed forced. I'd like to take out any false walls.

  • Dumbskull
  • Dec25 '05

    posts

    29.8k rads

    29786 rads

    #

Don't listen to Qwerty he doesn't know how to read.

Bloody brilliant. I wish I could write like that ( I wish I could write at all ) .

this is good stuff.

read the divingbell and the meeperfly written, most herorically, by a Jean Dominique Bauby, one paralized by a stroke and only able to communicate by the blinking of his left eye...

he managed to write a short book of 29 chapters by only blinking an eye--this my lownote friend, is a big deal. The kind that make prizes won, the kind that don't matter a flying meep in the whirl of the emotions around being around! I liked your story about the convalescent, the able but weak, the mentally challenged by the fury of living and the blindness of strife and the submission unto greater progress.

There are of course real examples, this is one, read it . It's worth it, but be prepared to be "low" for a day at least. I concur with the qwerty on the focus shifting about parts being played into for background that took themselves into forward focus--it's not going to be easy to do, so keep on doing it, I think it's not bad enough to mark as a "bad thing" actually, I encourage you to continue!

I enjoyed it, so despite whatever the meeps say, keep beating yourself up and churning this stuff out.

  • Lownotes
  • Dec26 '05

    posts

    46k rads

    45980 rads

    #

Thank you much.

I'm still up in the air about the asides. I put them in there as choruses - something to read instead of a blank space to indicate time had passed. I love them, so it is hard to go through and delete them. I'll just have to let it sit and age for a while before I decide.

keep them.

only write what you enjoy to read--and more importantly, write. even if its a book full of only asides what matters is that the book/story/episode has come its full course.

I think the ability to interspace them will be the challenge though. Like cooking a fancy cake, or lasagana, there are layers and elements that occur only in spots but manage to transcend the whole--what are the elements that transcend and how do they do that?

That's the secret of the "secret" sauce, it's the interplay of elements that become greater than the sum; the resulting roar from the breath, the quivering and trembling afftereffects of the thunder--would we really be able to gauge anything by it's mere existence? or do we divine the occurence of greatness by the side dishes? The little specks of light, the motes of upset--those rustling pidgeons, that unlike us, are more delecate indicators of great movement?

If the villagers had realized that all the animals had fled, there would have been fewer tsunami victims a boxing-day ago... In the woods when the crickets stop chirping, there is a big thing nearby--it's probably you, but notice it. And then patent it, make it an assembly line process and you can be stephen king! [I am joking, i hope].

  • Tango
  • Dec27 '05

    posts

    0 rads

    0 rads

    #

More excellant work. Good mind.

Hey, anonymous person! Log in and comment.
vasudeva
on meepexpress: [@BigDinWaunakee](ht+
BeachGoat
I pee in my garden. Keeps the cats out.
HOBO
I leik pooping in the woods
sunny77
on meepexpress: XTREEM
BigDinWaun+
on meepexpress: What I do admire+
linkswarm
queue: New link: How to manage a-holes
MstrLance
Spread dat seed.
meeproach
I'm gonna get me some hoes and weed
meeproach
-killer so I can work on my vegetable garden.
sunny77
disney sued the solar system for using pluto as a planet name
meeproach
Mars is the only planet in our solar system exclusively inhabited by robots, some of which are functioing
meeproach
Mars is the only planet in our solar system exclusively inhabited by robots, most of which are functioning.
HOBO
I liek French fries!
MstrLance
Some are no longer functioning; Spirit, the Vikings, Sojourner, etc.
sunny77
on meepexpress: you're worse than+
meeproach
Mars is the only planet in our solar system inhabited exclusively by functioning robots.
BeachGoat
I enjoy guns in the same manner I enjoy motorcycles - as powerful machines that paradoxically respond best to a light touch at the controls.
meeproach
on meepexpress: [@sunny77](http://ww+
sunny77
clipswarmed freakmachine's meepexpress
sunny77
on meepexpress: *meeproach: it's+
sunny77
on The Original Batmobile: ...and layin' eggs
sunny77
on The Original Batmobile: robin's bangin that+
sunny77
on meepexpress: all i'm saying is+
BigDinWaun+
on meepexpress: s77, I was+
BigDinWaun+
on meepexpress: s77, LS has always+
Danny_Infe+
sunny77
on meepexpress: *This site used to+
sunny77
on meepexpress: i don't hate it+
meeproach
on meepexpress: [@BigDinWaunakee](ht+
BigDinWaun+
on meepexpress: PS... I have only+
BigDinWaun+
on meepexpress: Oh, noes. I need+
meeproach
on meepexpress: [@sunny77](http://ww+
sunny77
on meepexpress: basic outline of+
sunny77
on Magic Leap!: *meep*
middle_age+
on Magic Leap!: Bullmeep is+
sunny77
on Magic Leap!: ^+1
LOki
on meepexpress: meeproach:As I've+
meeproach
on meepexpress: [@sunny77](http://ww+
freakmachi+
on Magic Leap!: Everything is+
freakmachi+
on meepexpress: Oh Emm Gee!
freakmachi+
on meepexpress: What?! This site is+
BigDinWaun+
on meepexpress: meeproach, It isn't+
sunny77
on meepexpress: meeproach just likes+
linkswarm
queue: New link: When Science Meets meep
LOki
on meepexpress: meeproach:[The first+
meeproach
on meepexpress: [@LOki](http://www.l+
BigDinWaun+
Well....... We're waiting!!!!!
StartRecor+
Some good things to start your bitcoin posts with (works for both sides):
StartRecor+
Here, I'll try again using smaller words
StartRecor+
Im typing this very slowly, because i know you cant read very fast
StartRecor+
let me explain it so that even you might understand...
BigDinWaun+
on meepexpress: Its too meeping cold+
LOki
on meepexpress: Guns.+
sunny77
on meepexpress: (:
JohnLenin
on meepexpress: Someone posts an+
BigDinWaun+
on meepexpress: PS... Can I pay+
BigDinWaun+
on meepexpress: [@meeproach](http://+
HOBO
Testicles
sunny77
on meepexpress: @meeproach
sunny77
on meepexpress: my previous comment+
LOki
on meepexpress: Also,+
LOki
on meepexpress: @LOki ..as if I+
BigDinWaun+
on meepexpress: @meeproach Someone+
meeproach
on meepexpress: [@BeachGoat](http://+
LOki
on meepexpress: BigDinWaunakee:+
BigDinWaun+
on meepexpress: Nah, my point still+
LOki
on meepexpress: Also,+
LOki
on meepexpress: meeproach:How stupid+
sunny77
on meepexpress: [@BeachGoat](http://+
sunny77
on meepexpress: linkswarm.com: where+
sunny77
on meepexpress: NO ONE CARES ABOUT+
BeachGoat
on meepexpress: "Unlike you, people+
meeproach
on meepexpress: [@BigDinWaunakee](ht+
meeproach
on meepexpress: [@sunny77](http://ww+
BigDinWaun+
on meepexpress: [@sunny77](http://ww+
  • spankerchi+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • beachgoat

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • beachgoat

  • spankerchi+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+

  • dragonstaf+