Religious Preferences
I go to a Catholic University. Today I get an email entitled:
Information Requested for Registrar
About 50% of my tuition is student loans. So I always take these types of emails seriously. If I'm missing a form or something, I could lose a loan and be expected to immediately pay thousands of dollars. But I open it...
Dear Nicholas:
We are trying to update our records to make them as complete as possible.We would appreciate
it if you would verify and update the following information by replying to this email.
Your Student ID: *
Social Security Number(last 4-digit)
Gender M
Date of Birth 05-APR-84
Religious Preference PLEASE PROVIDE
Citizenship Y
Ethnicity W - White, Non-Hispanic
Choose from the following for Ethnicity: A - African-American O - Asian/Pacific Islander,
H - Hispanic, W - White, Non-Hispanic, I - Native American.
Choose from the following for Religious Preference: AD - Seventh Day Adventist, BT - Baptist,
BU - Buddhist, EO - Eastern Orthodox, EP - Episcopal, HI - Hindu, IS - Islamic, JE - Jewish,
LU - Lutheran, MO - Latter Day Saints, MT - Methodist, NO - None, OP - Other Protestant,
OT - Other, PR - Presbyterian, QU - Quaker, RC - Roman Catholic, UC - Congregational.
Thank you in advance for your assistance.
*
Associate Dean for Enrollment Management
They sent my an email because I didn't specify RELIGIOUS PREFERENCE. Seriously? You wasted your time, and more importantly, my time, with such a silly request?
Ok
Ms. **
I realize that this is a Catholic University, but I am disheartened not to see my religious preference listed. I could always select OT and be part of the "other" group, but that doesn't help complete your records very well. To be as thorough as possible, you should have a selection for all of us: we, the Scientologists. Let's face it, in this day and age there are more and more of us. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Giovanni Ribisi, the guy from Saturday Night Fever.
L. Ron Hubbard's Thetan Spirit would never forgive me if I just picked "other."
Hugs!
Nicholas ****, Esq.
I'm thinking of sending that as a reply.
Hey, anonymous person! Log in and comment.
dragonstaf+
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: [@tesco](http://www.+
tesco
on Can the Gamification of Female Masturbation Remove Its Social Stigma?: Leave it to Spanker+
tesco
on Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?: Loki I was trying+
tesco
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: Loki That is why+
spankerchi+
on Can the Gamification of Female Masturbation Remove Its Social Stigma?: I'll meet you+
middle_age+
on Can the Gamification of Female Masturbation Remove Its Social Stigma?: The author of this+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Partisans are all hypocrites
linkswarm
queue: New link: Disney accidentally invents paperman method
spod
linkswarm
queue: New link: Dirty Bomb Blows Liberty
JohnLenin
turn it into a meep first
HOBO
on Charities: Not ALWAYS a scam...I mean; not like, EVERY TIME.: I just found a+
spod
LINK: My Dad Was in a Band
spankerchi+
How the meep do you keep a sammich fresh while shipping it to NC?
spankerchi+
on Charities: Not ALWAYS a scam...I mean; not like, EVERY TIME.: [@HOBO](http://www.l+
spankerchi+
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: Sorry, but with your+
spankerchi+
on Can the Gamification of Female Masturbation Remove Its Social Stigma?:
[@tesco](http://ww+
dragonstaf+
on Charities: Not ALWAYS a scam...I mean; not like, EVERY TIME.: [@HOBO](http://www.l+
LOki
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: ^ Still thinks "meep+
LOki
on Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?: OK, so methane on+
linkswarm
queue: New link: The NSA and the One Percent
tesco
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: Well, recently I+
tesco
on Can the Gamification of Female Masturbation Remove Its Social Stigma?: Spanker, that is+
middle_age+
on Charities: Not ALWAYS a scam...I mean; not like, EVERY TIME.: Ma, ma my bologna!
HOBO
on Charities: Not ALWAYS a scam...I mean; not like, EVERY TIME.: I like sandwiches!
middle_age+
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: [@spankerchief](http+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Art for Art's Sake: Huge Kinetic Wind Sculptures
Crapalicio+
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: such a bunch of+
dragonstaf+
on Can the Gamification of Female Masturbation Remove Its Social Stigma?: [@tesco](http://www.+
spankerchi+
spankerchi+
on Can the Gamification of Female Masturbation Remove Its Social Stigma?: The point being that+
spankerchi+
on Can the Gamification of Female Masturbation Remove Its Social Stigma?: Jees, tesco. This+
spankerchi+
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: You really seem to+
tesco
on Can the Gamification of Female Masturbation Remove Its Social Stigma?: meep! I figured out+
tesco
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: Spanker+
freakmachi+
spankerchi+
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: /mildly meandering+
spankerchi+
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: All political+
tesco
on Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?: OK, so methane on+
tesco
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: My bad, Dragon. I+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: On the plus side;+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Thanks a LOT, man.+
MstrLance
on Spanky's Pic Place: 1. Apply clamps to+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: I can't help but+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: 2013061612095073410FEth.jpg
MstrLance
Happy non-negligent jizzer day!
JohnLenin
Pats on the meep all 'round
JohnLenin
Yeah, congrats on jizzing inside of something and then not letting your mistake die from negligence.
spankerchi+
Happy Anniversary to all my fellow apostates of the rythm method! Clutch your bag of peas PROUDLY!
LOki
on Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?: You make enough+
dragonstaf+
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: I do love the+
spankerchi+
on YouTube graveyard and cadaver exchange: http://www.youtube.c+
tesco
on Instagram blunder helps ID alleged thief: It is truly a+
tesco
on Why Libertarians Are Basically Cult Members: Logic is lost on+
tesco
on Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?: Loki You make enough+
tesco
on The man who quit money: Dragonstaff. It is+
linkswarm
queue: New link: My Dad Was in a Band
dragonstaf+
MstrLance
spankerchi+
It's time to get busy.
spankerchi+
Cleaning the garage this morning so's I have room to build. I gritted my teeth and threw out all the old bits of armor, too-heavy maille(10-12 gauge) and a sword blank I'll never get around to beveling.
LOki
on Spanky's Pic Place: HAHAHA! You'd be a+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Charities: Not ALWAYS a scam...I mean; not like, EVERY TIME.
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Oh, speaking of+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Obviously you doubt+
LOki
on Spanky's Pic Place: tesco torque+
LOki
on Spanky's Pic Place: Perpetual+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: We're having new+
MstrLance
on YouTube graveyard and cadaver exchange: http://www.youtube.c+
dragonstaf+
on Spanky's Pic Place: [@LOki](http://www.l+
dragonstaf+
on Spanky's Pic Place: [@spankerchief](http+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Graham Chapman: A very naughty boy
LOki
on Spanky's Pic Place: Nothing, according+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: What really makes it+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Can someone tell me+
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spankerchi+
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beachgoat
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dragonstaf+
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pete56
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pete56
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mstrlance
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beachgoat
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startrecor+
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spankerchi+
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dragonstaf+
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beachgoat
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pete56
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spankerchi+
Sep09 '05
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And they will burn you at the stake.
Do it!!!!1`
Sep09 '05
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That would be great if you did.
Sep09 '05
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Cool! I've got the marshmellows covered. Bring your own Goddamned sticks.
Sep09 '05
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i think you should be a Raelian. You could also ask if "Clone" should be its own race.
Sep09 '05
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dear nicholas,
i'm shocked and saddened that you would use my beautiful religion as a joke. after all, it's not any more shocking than your real religious preference - jedi.
you nerdy little meepgot.
SUCK ETHEREAL meep, elron's eternal spirit
Sep09 '05
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Ok I sent it...I'll be kinda disappointed if they don't send me a pissy reply.
Sep09 '05
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Apparently they also refuse to acknowlege the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, that's what I'd pick to meep 'em off. When they burn you make sure you scream really loud so they NEVAR forget.
Sep09 '05
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Write back and tell them that you just joined the Church of Dan Brown and you're really pissed about the whole "grail" thing.
Sep09 '05
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They asked for your social and student id number...in the email? Sounds fishy. Give it to em!
Sep09 '05
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Maybe you should have expected meep like this when you voluntarily enrolled yourself in a religious school. Didn't you think that at some point the whole "religion" thing might come up a time or two during your time there? Guess not...
Sep09 '05
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Yeah Clavis, I went to a Catholic high school. But they never told me that MY PAPERWORK IS INCOMPLETE and then asked for "religious preference." Basically, that's what they're trying to do here. Am I meeping that I have to take two required religion classes to graduate? No. Am I meeping about the hideous religious statues that populate the campus? No. Did I meep that they built a new addition to the seminary (is that necessary nowadays???) when the liberal arts building is literally falling apart? No.
So, eat me.
Sep10 '05
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Yeah clavis, eat him!!
Sep10 '05
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meep, why didn't I respond with that.
I told them the truth... that I worship satan.
Sep10 '05
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I went to rpi, which claims to be '...the first school of science and school of civil engineering, which has had a continuous existence, to be established in any English-speaking country-
Our math, IT and computer science departments currently share the oldest building on campus (Amos Eaton hall.) The president of the school, after buying herself a bullet proof suv to be driven around in, and then another because she didnt like the first one after a month has started to build an "experimental media and performing arts center" on the side of a hill that is sliding down into the lovely place that is troy.
But they never asked my religion!
I am so glad I am out of there.
Sep12 '05
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Tell them that you want to start your own cult.
Or tell them that you sacrifice small children to Odin, and do they have any kids they want to get rid of?
Sep12 '05
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CHAC MOOL LIVES !