Everytime I walk down my front porch, which consists of 5 stairs, I trick myself into thinking there are six stairs. I'm getting quite tired of this.
This weekend, while half my retarded in-laws hung out in my yard, I went down the stairs thinking that there was six of them again. AGAIN I DID. Once I hit the sidewalk, I tried to jump down onto the sidewalk, not realizing that I was already standing on it. Of course, in front of everyone, when I landed I planted my right knee into my chest, bent my other leg in half and broke all the bones in my spine and my can of beer threw itself across the front yard. I think I am going to call a cement guy and have him put a sixth stair on my porch.