I got raped on the internets.

--It all started like this:--
[20:22] * Joins: motown
[20:22] LORDKAHUNA> hi motown
[20:22] motown> anybody out there
[20:22] LORDKAHUNA> no
[20:22] motown> hi lord
[20:22] LORDKAHUNA> no one here
[20:23] motown> kahuna-U from Hawaii?
[20:23] LORDKAHUNA> yis
[20:23] LORDKAHUNA> where u from d00d
[20:23] motown> where abouts i lived there
[20:23] LORDKAHUNA> honalulu
[20:23] motown> motown means detroit
[20:23] motown> basketball city
[20:24] motown> great to B a fan in detroit!
[20:24] LORDKAHUNA> :)
[20:24] motown> U male of F?

--This was the pivotal moment where I should've bailed, but I thought I could give this guy a nigering.--

[20:24] LORDKAHUNA> F
[20:24] motown> how old?
[20:24] LORDKAHUNA> U?
[20:24] LORDKAHUNA> 19
[20:25] motown> I'm a bit older than U
[20:25] LORDKAHUNA> wow
[20:25] LORDKAHUNA> how old
[20:25] motown> U really from Hololulu?
[20:25] motown> I'm 44
[20:25] LORDKAHUNA> Honalulu
[20:25] LORDKAHUNA> I cant type vry well (giggle)

--I think giggle sealed my fate.--

[20:25]motown> which island?
[20:26] LORDKAHUNA> I was young when my parents split up
[20:26] motown> Do you surf? (besides the net)
[20:26] LORDKAHUNA> tried once
[20:26] LORDKAHUNA> :)
[20:26] LORDKAHUNA> got sand in my bathing suit
[20:26] LORDKAHUNA> :(
[20:27] LORDKAHUNA> live with mom now
[20:27] motown> depends on where the sand was
[20:27] LORDKAHUNA> in ohio
[20:27] LORDKAHUNA> ;)
[20:27] motown> Ahh - what city?
[20:27] LORDKAHUNA> Mason
[20:28] LORDKAHUNA> where you from
[20:28] motown> Toldeo's close to me/ how far is that from toledo?

--"ALARM"--

[20:28] LORDKAHUNA> bout 3 hrs I guess
[20:28] motown> I live in St Clair Shores N of Detroti
[20:28] LORDKAHUNA> I worked in Toledo
[20:28] vasudeva> HAY DUDES
[20:28] vasudeva> ANYONE LIKE TO meep?!

--I thought I was free and clear here, Vas to the rescue--

[20:28] LORDKAHUNA> FUker I had this guy
[20:29] LORDKAHUNA> :)

--I was expecting a huge WTF! from motown at this point--

[20:29] motown> kinda hard to on line duh
[20:29] vasudeva> cybersecks
[20:29] vasudeva> gotta catch em all!
[20:29] vasudeva> but now i have to eat burritos

--Vas leaves me at this point, I will exact sweet revenge--

[20:29] motown> gets all over your hands
[20:29] LORDKAHUNA> yes
[20:29] LORDKAHUNA> all over
[20:30] motown> do you know about craigslist?
[20:30] LORDKAHUNA> nop
[20:30] LORDKAHUNA> show me
[20:30] motown> go to www.craigslist.com/detroit
[20:30] motown> you'll be addicted
[20:30] motown> there's citys in ohio too
[20:31] LORDKAHUNA> I'm addicted enough
[20:31] motown> wrong address
[20:31] LORDKAHUNA> ah
[20:31] LORDKAHUNA> so what you do motown

--thought he had a clue, but was suprised to see where this was going--

[20:32] motown> http://detroit.craigslist.org
[20:32] motown> i'm a photographer
[20:32] LORDKAHUNA> wow
[20:32] motown> my web http://www.robertpix.com
[20:32] motown> shoot for newspapers
[20:33] motown> what do you do Kahuna?
[20:33] LORDKAHUNA> :( no personal info
[20:33] LORDKAHUNA> I'm a waitress
[20:33] motown> awww what would I do with it
[20:33] LORDKAHUNA> ?
[20:34] motown> that's cool / U go to college?
[20:34] LORDKAHUNA> dropped out
[20:34] LORDKAHUNA> had huge medical bills
[20:34] motown> can go back U know / I dropped out of art school/but made it anyway
[20:34] motown> waht was wrong?
[20:35] LORDKAHUNA> I had to have a growth removed
[20:35] LORDKAHUNA> like a tumor
[20:35] LORDKAHUNA> sort of
[20:35] motown> U okay now?
[20:35] LORDKAHUNA> great
[20:35] motown> no cancer was it?
[20:36] LORDKAHUNA> um..you can say it was takingover my life

--OK here I was setting him up for the BIG FINISH--

[20:36] motown> would you like to email off and on?
[20:37] LORDKAHUNA> ok
[20:37] LORDKAHUNA> wanna see my website
[20:37] motown> yes!
[20:37] LORDKAHUNA> http://misssherry.vettepics.com/custom.html

--We all remember sherry don't we--

[20:38] LORDKAHUNA> I'm so lonely, I'd like a friend
[20:38] motown> thats U w/the beautiful Red hair?

--I am a seething ball of hatred, my "Big Finish" eludes me--

[20:38] LORDKAHUNA> yes
[20:38] LORDKAHUNA> :)
[20:39] motown> U have very meepy legs!!!
[20:39] motown> and your cute
[20:39] LORDKAHUNA> thx

--I taste bile--

[20:40] motown> I don't have a pix on my site of me but will send one via email
[20:40] LORDKAHUNA> ok
[20:40] motown> love to be your friend
[20:40] LORDKAHUNA> will you comb my hair
[20:40] motown> sure will
[20:41] motown> which hair?
[20:41] LORDKAHUNA> giggle

--HOLY MOTHER OF FUK WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!--

[20:41] motown> do you like older men?
[20:41] LORDKAHUNA> I dont know
[20:42] motown> do U have a boyfriend?
[20:42] LORDKAHUNA> do you like corvette drivers
[20:42] motown> vetts are okay
[20:42] LORDKAHUNA> just OK
[20:42] motown> I have a van because of my windsurfing sport
[20:43] motown> full size
[20:43] LORDKAHUNA> do you live in it?
[20:43] motown> then a honda CRV
[20:43] LORDKAHUNA> wow
[20:43] motown> I could
[20:43] motown> U and I could!!!!!!
[20:43] LORDKAHUNA> REALLY!

--DIVE DIVE DIVE--

[20:43] motown> at least for a couple of hours.
[20:43] motown> want me to drive on down there?
[20:44] LORDKAHUNA> yes right now
[20:44] motown> you need to see my pix first
[20:44] motown> what is your email?
[20:44] motown> i don't see it on your site
[20:44] LORDKAHUNA> sherry_ridgeway@yahoo.com
[20:45] LORDKAHUNA> contact page
[20:45] motown> i have kewalo66@yahoo.com
[20:45] motown> for me
[20:46] motown> wjhat is your yahoo handle?
[20:46] LORDKAHUNA> wow this is moving fast
[20:46] LORDKAHUNA> <--is into weird things
[20:46] motown> were having a family already!
[20:46] * Looking up vasudeva user info...

--thought I was subject to cruelest of jokes--

[20:46] motown> me too
[20:46] LORDKAHUNA> NIGER
[20:46] * Looking up motown user info...

--revealed nothing to me--

[20:47] motown> what does niger mean?
[20:47] LORDKAHUNA> my pet name for my peni....um ginie
[20:48] motown> what are you into that's weird?
[20:48] LORDKAHUNA> ever hear of "gerbling"
[20:49] motown> NOTHING meepual is actually weird
[20:49] motown> thats sticking a gerble in there isn't it?
[20:49] motown> lucky gerble
[20:50] LORDKAHUNA> not as lucky as the Pomeranian I bought last week
[20:50] motown> just saw your vette pic
[20:51] motown> ha ha
[20:51] motown> i see that in my mind's eye
[20:51] LORDKAHUNA> wow
[20:51] motown> one second got to answer call
[20:52] motown> im back
[20:52] motown> lady friend
[20:53] LORDKAHUNA> :)
[20:53] motown> U really love your vette!
[20:53] LORDKAHUNA> I sure do
[20:54] motown> U look good in it! I had an olds 442 race car for awhile
[20:54] LORDKAHUNA> fast?
[20:54] motown> 400 ci 350 HP
[20:54] motown> real fast
[20:54] LORDKAHUNA> wow that's alot
[20:55] motown> U must have boy friends up the giggie
[20:55] LORDKAHUNA> so how did you find this place?
[20:55] motown> Off of craigslist
[20:55] LORDKAHUNA> (sigh) not many
[20:55] motown> link from the piston fights
[20:55] LORDKAHUNA> oh
[20:56] LORDKAHUNA> brb ok
[20:56] motown> I'd be one in a heart beat
[20:56] motown> I can't drinjk anymore so i cant go to bars
[20:57] motown> i met one gal on the net
[20:57] motown> now i've met U
[20:57] LORDKAHUNA> can I tell you a secret
[20:58] motown> yes, of course
[20:58] LORDKAHUNA> it's about my "removal"
[20:59] motown> was it a meep change?
[20:59] LORDKAHUNA> yes
[20:59] motown> that makes it more interesting!
[20:59] LORDKAHUNA> wow how didyou guess
[21:00] motown> the close up pic, you're really into your hair also!
[21:00] motown> I'm Bi
[21:00] LORDKAHUNA> FANFUKINGTASTIC

--I give up--

[21:01] motown> your legs are DIANAMITE my dear
[21:01] motown> miss spelled that
[21:02] LORDKAHUNA> s'ok
[21:02] motown> I'm getting set to send U a pic of me on yahoo
[21:03] motown> there I sent it
[21:03] LORDKAHUNA> great send it right away
[21:03] motown> so do U enjoy meep in that way?
[21:03] LORDKAHUNA> no
[21:03] LORDKAHUNA> <--is allergic to meep
[21:03] motown> Did U have a meep made?
[21:04] LORDKAHUNA> yes but I missed an oil change and voided the warrenty

--fuker is dense--

[21:04] motown> Ha HA
[21:04] motown> I love your personality
[21:04] motown> I've had some surgury in that department also
[21:05] * LORDKAHUNA regurgitates vile filth from the depth of his black soul
[21:05] motown> cool
[21:05] motown> 13cool
[21:05] motown> 8so thats what the colors do
[21:06] motown> 12now look what you've done - you've made me into a color lunatic
[21:06] motown> 4blue on blue
[21:06] LORDKAHUNA> holy meep
[21:06] motown> U there?
[21:07] LORDKAHUNA> unfortunately
[21:07] LORDKAHUNA> :|
[21:07] motown> so, anyway (sorry for my outburst) I had surgury also
[21:07] LORDKAHUNA> color are for meeps
[21:08] motown> I'm bi - I'll stick to regular color
[21:08] motown> did you check my pic yet?
[21:08] LORDKAHUNA> not yet
[21:09] motown> I'm nervous, hope you like me!
[21:09] LORDKAHUNA> don't get your hopes up, I'm particular
[21:09] motown> I can't get over how beautiful your legs are
[21:09] motown> i don't blame you
[21:10] motown> your fun
[21:10] motown> You're fun -sorry
[21:10] motown> are you really 19?
[21:10] LORDKAHUNA> no
[21:10] motown> how old?
[21:11] LORDKAHUNA> noonya
[21:11] motown> whaT EVER THAT MEANS
[21:11] LORDKAHUNA> uh oh
[21:12] motown> i thought - not 19 - but in 20s
[21:12] LORDKAHUNA> dude this is just not fun any more
[21:12] motown> how did U find this site and any other cool sites?
[21:13] LORDKAHUNA> fark.com
[21:13] LORDKAHUNA> go there
[21:13] motown> I check it out/do you wanna go?
[21:13] LORDKAHUNA> yis
[21:13] motown> it's okay, send me mail if you want
[21:13] LORDKAHUNA> PLEASE LET ME GO
[21:14] motown> see ya!
[21:14] LORDKAHUNA> OK GO
[21:14] * Quits: motown ("Exit")
[21:14] LORDKAHUNA> wow
[21:14] LORDKAHUNA> I feel like I dropped prison soap

OK swarm, what's the moral of this story?