You know what the most retarded act known to man is? When a movie theater audience applauds after a movie is finished. I made one of the first few showings of Spiderman 2, of course the theater was filled with the quintisential comic geek and chronic dry meep crowd (myself included). So I knew the situation would be ripe for the lameness that is movie theater applause.
The lights come up and the credits begin to roll and BAM....what at first begins as a smattering of claps, snowballs into a more unified clapping appretiation of the film. But I ask you meepers, (tantrum adressing the movie clappers now) do you really think Sam Raimi or Tobey McGuire is in attendance tonight?
Applause are appropriate during a live performance. The people on screen during the movie cannot hear us. The only reason to applaude after a theater movie is to signal to your other geek breatheren, "Hey, dude! (big geek smile. two big geek thumbs up)". And an the even sadder move is the loser that, as he applaudes, looks around to make eye contact with his other fellow applauders. This person is fuked beyond recognition and will stay that way forever.
People that clap after a movie in a theater should be drugged and made to live the rest of their life as toilets.