The boy vasudeva love association

As the present day MegaRad boldly forges on into the future, the past events that have brought this project to this place might easily be forgotten. It would be tragic, indeed, that the gems of our past genius might not be preserved simply because they no longer enjoy the brilliant illumination of the present.



Some weeks past, our beloved vasudeva fell victim to a vicious prank. This prank will no doubt achieve infamy in it's maturity, and immortalty in the vengeance it inspires.



The prank itself is hardly worth mentioning. A fortuitous discovery of a picture. The coincidence that the subject of the picture bears a remakable resemblence to our dear vasudeva, and that the picture in question happens to be on the cover of The NAMBLA Bulletin.



That the picture was photoshopped some and then published on the internet can hardly be described as remarkable. Remarkable is the efforts that went into making this prank and the conversations involved.



Co-workers of mine, Hobo, Tank, and a guy we will just call Ken, were innocently chit-chatting in the soft twilight minutes before the lunch hour ends and the return to work drudgery made its inevtable begining. How the subject of NAMBLA came up in conversation at work has been forgotten. Let it suffice to say that it did. There seemed to be some confusion as to exactly what the acronym NAMBLA stood for. We all could agree that it was "something-something-Man-Boy-Love Association." The internet, being an impartial arbiter, was consulted. Tank taps the acronym in question into a Google search field, and we are rewarded with the expected roster of links. Tank clicks on one, and what pops up on the screen, but vasudeva's 14 yearold doppleganger. Tank, Hobo and I (who have all met the victim in person) spoke the name "vasudeva" in agape unison. It was agreed then and there that this HAD to be shared.



The question was -- how? How to accomplish this "sharing" so that it met all of it's potential? I certainly could not do it justice with my insufficient skills. Or could I? I may not be skilled at "coding" or "scripting" jack, but I do possess an engaging aptitude for mischief.



Back to the cathode-ray tube we turn. "I will enlist more conspiriators," I announce as I call up my AIM client. I thought first to enlist kHz because he owns master administrative prowess, but he was unavailable. Who else then? I was sure I could find sombody...



(the following has been edited and condensed, but it is absolutely accurate in quality)



I am LOki: MOMAD?

MeBeMo2001: LOKI?!?!

I am LOki: shhh! are you up for a little conspiracy?

MeBeMo2001: hehehehehehehehe!!!! always! shhh!! hehehe!

I am LOki: ok. you check this: http://www.nambla1.de/illustration.jpg

I am LOki: tell who this could be.

MeBeMo2001: oh meep

I am LOki: oh yeah.

MeBeMo2001: fix the hair and we have a clokhed.

I am LOki: perhaps the young quisling as a middle schooler?

I am LOki: The question is how to best use this.

I am LOki: kHz is not on, I thought he might be able to be the most destructive.



MOMAD jumps in with both feet.



MeBeMo2001: you know who would do this well

MeBeMo2001: fukin meta

I am LOki: ?

MeBeMo2001: he's all photoshop

I am LOki: I think unadulterated might be fine. Just ask if clokhed was paid with a charter membership or a snickers bar.

MeBeMo2001: hahaha

MeBeMo2001: yeah good

MeBeMo2001: it should be vasudeva though, not clokhed

I am LOki: sure. right.

MeBeMo2001: (thumbs up)

MeBeMo2001: he looks so sad!

MeBeMo2001: it would be funnier if he was all happy about it

MeBeMo2001: I am loved by men daily!

I am LOki: he wasn't held afterward.

MeBeMo2001: awww :'(



So now it's time to enlist Metatron. The problem is, lowlifes like ourselves cannot command the immediate attention of fukin meta.



I am LOki: meta is not responding. who else?

MeBeMo2001: yeah, nor to me

MeBeMo2001: he's the only one i know right now so let's wait till he comes back



Perhaps this is destined to vanish, but then ...



MeBeMo2001: unless....

MeBeMo2001: fuking ben!

I am LOki: k. fuking ben

I am LOki: I don't know how to contact him. You?

MeBeMo2001: i am speaking with that fuker presently

MeBeMo2001: one sec



Meanwhile, Metatron turns his attention to the blinking tag in his IRC window, and I send him the link.



sethiesize: ?

sethiesize: thats who i think it is?

I am LOki: It is a frightening lookalike.

sethiesize: haha

I am LOki: I don't have the kind of technology to really do much with it, so I'm enlisting conspirators who love the frood soooooooo much that we'd get this out as far and wide as possible.

sethiesize: haha

sethiesize: gladly



HAHAHAHAHA! meta and fuking ben join our band of merry fukos!



MeBeMo2001: i think its gonna happen

MeBeMo2001: finallyl our luck is turning around!

MeBeMo2001: joy!!

I am LOki: allll riiight!

MeBeMo2001: man boy love joy!!

I am LOki: yeah!

I am LOki: vasudeva is famous

I am LOki: in certain circles

I am LOki: circle jerks ,that is.

MeBeMo2001: shue is

MeBeMo2001: shue?

MeBeMo2001: im too excited to type



On this end, Tank and I are laughing out loud all the time, certainly causing our bosses to wonder what could possibly be so entertaining (and work related) to us while we're on the clock. For MOMAD, the second wave of insane realization hits like a tsunami.



MeBeMo2001: im suspicious

I am LOki: suspicious?

MeBeMo2001: yeah

I am LOki: ?

MeBeMo2001: i think it IS him

I am LOki: ha!

MeBeMo2001: this is fukin great



Fuking ben has photoshopped the image to the specifications forwarded by MOMAD. The problem remains, what to do with this? MOMAD proves her worth.



MeBeMo2001: ok, what's your email

I am LOki: loki@megarad.com

MeBeMo2001: sent

I am LOki: awesome!

MeBeMo2001: hahahhhaah

MeBeMo2001: what're you gonna do with it now?

I am LOki: I don't know! I lack technology to do maximum damages. That's why I need co-conspirators.

I am LOki: We need to get it posted somewhere and start linking the meep out of it.

MeBeMo2001: thats where we need terry

MeBeMo2001: not sure how much we can rely on him though

MeBeMo2001: actually, we dont need terry

MeBeMo2001: i think i can do it

I am LOki: You can do it!

MeBeMo2001: i have done it before



Not only that, she reveals her evil.



MeBeMo2001: the beauty of it is that i will be asking vasudeva (since he helped me to do it before) and he will have no idea that i am recruiting himto help me sabotage his slef hehe

I am LOki: yeah! Let me knowwhat the url is.

MeBeMo2001: well in order to make a url, i need help

MeBeMo2001: actually, maybe ben can help me

I am LOki: oh meep! You are awesome! I like the way you think!

I am LOki: let that fuker help. And when it's all out there we can buy him a shot of tequila in thanks



Apparently she backs off.



MeBeMo2001: k, now meta is in on it

MeBeMo2001: he's helping me do the techie stuff needed to get it linkable



So far all this conspiracy is happening in AIM windows. Meanwhile we are all trying to maintain ourselves in the MegaRad IRC channel and the Fates deal a fatal kick to nuts on our vasudeva.



(In AIM)

I am LOki: Are you checking the irony on irc right now?

MeBeMo2001: WHOA~!

MeBeMo2001: HAHAHAHA

I am LOki: bobo works in my office

MeBeMo2001: yis, i know



(In irc)

bobo has joined #Megarad

bobo: oooooooohhhh harp is good in a pint glass

llLOki: haaaaaap

bobo: let's all raise a glass this friday for the sake of raising a glass

vasudeva: let's you suck my meep friday night

vasudeva: you know

vasudeva: for the sake of you sucking my meep



MOMAD reacts, and the grins get wider:



(back in AIM)

MeBeMo2001: WHOA~!

MeBeMo2001: HAHAHAHA

I am LOki: bobo works in my office

I am LOki: I'm finding it difficul to contain myself over this. I sent the link to my wife and she immediatly recognized damo and called it, and i quote "precious"

MeBeMo2001: haha

MeBeMo2001: i cant wait till he sees it

MeBeMo2001: watch this

I am LOki: k

MeBeMo2001: hehehe



This really happened, I swear that I did NOT make this up.



(back to irc)

bobo: vasudeva you poor misguided..

bobo: homomeepual

bobo: the way i see it, you have some desire for me to suk your meep

bobo: you desire me you fuking flaming meep

bobo: you are TEH ASSHAWK

MOMAD: fukin bobo

bobo: all i wanted to do was encourage some drinking and next thing i know vasuhomo is coming onto me

vasudeva: bobo, i hope you die the death every dog deserves

vasudeva: ^__^

bobo has quit IRC (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))

vasudeva: meep0t

vasudeva: i hope he vomits up a bunch of bung crust

MOMAD: hahahaha

MOMAD: oh, haha!

MOMAD: haha!

vasudeva: you like that?

FreeBoBo has joined #Megarad

MOMAD: the way i like dumb sack of dry heave

vasudeva: <-- a king of sorts

MOMAD: weeman is surprisingly smart

vasudeva: yes?

MOMAD: he sounds all intelligent in his posts

MOMAD: i think he actually may be

MOMAD: kid is only 21

MOMAD: doesnt sound like it

vasudeva: nope

MOMAD: fukin weeman

MOMAD: fukin bobo

MOMAD: fukin EVERYONE

MOMAD: ack!

vasudeva: his comment actually makes me angry, because i want to agree with it very ferociously, but he's said it all already

vasudeva: and "ditto" looks meep



vasudeva simply, and in total ignorance, just refuses to put down the "meep" toy.



llLOki: It's ok when you say it though.

MOMAD: the comment about homeland security?

vasudeva: yeah

MOMAD: yeah

vasudeva: bobo] you desire me you fuking flaming meep

vasudeva: look at bobo, strokign his own ego

MOMAD: stroking.....

MOMAD: ....what?

MOMAD: OH ohohoh

MOMAD: nevermind

vasudeva: pish posh

MOMAD: :|

vasudeva: on my knob you nosh

vasudeva: thank you. more from "meep english nursery rhymes" at 4.



Clearly vasudeva has meeps on the mind; he continues on (unbelievable!)



FreeBoBo: http://www.geocities.com/mikey_wbt/ugh/world_records.html

MOMAD: hey vas

vasudeva: hey thinkles

vasudeva: harvey thinklestein

MOMAD: have you ALWAYS been angry at homos or was there ever a day when you cuddled them dearly?

vasudeva: i've cuddled several homos in my day



And there it is. We could not have asked for more. Thank you vasudeva!



MOMAD: i suspected as much

vasudeva: they were friends

MOMAD: were they large men?

FreeBoBo: 1.7 pint of seman pumped from one girls stomach a world record

llLOki: no doubt

vasudeva: they knew my girlfriend

vasudeva: it was very safe

MOMAD: i see.....

FreeBoBo: did you pack some fudge in this safe haven

vasudeva: no, idiot

vasudeva: you staggering meep

vasudeva: wtf is a bogey trail?

FreeBoBo: 12ft 2 inches

vasudeva: i love how brits call vaginas "fannies"

FreeBoBo: snot



Along with my whiffy, others get a taste:



(In AIM)

VladTweano: very pretty in his cirmeepcision haircut

I am LOki: that pic is taken from a real nambla page.

VladTweano: ??

I am LOki: http://www.nambla1.de/illustration.jpg

VladTweano: wow

VladTweano: so that's not him?

VladTweano: it sure looks like him

VladTweano: who?

I am LOki: wha?

VladTweano: who found it?

I am LOki: <---

VladTweano: nicely done

I am LOki: <--- mastermind

VladTweano: browsing nambla, eh?

I am LOki: it came up in a conversation at the office

I am LOki: threw it in google

I am LOki: hit a link

VladTweano: up pops the dingo face

I am LOki: and dingo shows up, meep as the day is long

VladTweano: HAHA!



(In AIM)

JonTwriter: hoyle meep

I am LOki: don't tell him

I am LOki: he doesn't know yet

JonTwriter: is that him and a joked out photo?

JonTwriter: I won't

I am LOki: http://www.nambla1.de/illustration.jpg

JonTwriter: you need to save that one for a grand usage

JonTwriter: that last URL is the original?

I am LOki: yeah

JonTwriter: so that image by itself is legit?

JonTwriter: that could fuking be him

I am LOki: no meep

I am LOki: no meep

JonTwriter: as in "that could fuking literally be him"

I am LOki: I couldn't leave it alone just becauas of that.



This is about the time that it dawns on me that funnier than the prank, is the activity behind the prank:



I am LOki: I'm finding it difficul to contain myself over this. I sent the link to my wife and she immediatly recognized damo and called it, and i quote "precious"

MeBeMo2001: haha

MeBeMo2001: i cant wait till he sees it

MeBeMo2001: watch this

I am LOki: k

MeBeMo2001: hehehe



So now you have to imaging this low-tech LOki franticly doing the copy/paste dance while trying to keep all the conversations organized AND keep current on the unfolding events.



Soon comes the time to post it to the linkswarm, but MOMAD and I are not sure this can be done under the vasudevas administrative radar:



I am LOki: is anyone available that can linkswarm that immediately?

MeBeMo2001: linkswarm what

I am LOki: http://dontpelorian.com/images/manboydaemian.gif

MeBeMo2001: oh he gave it to you

MeBeMo2001: it has to go through him

MeBeMo2001: so that would spoil the surprise

I am LOki: who? damo?

MeBeMo2001: him = vasudeva

MeBeMo2001: yeah

I am LOki: seth says he can do it

MeBeMo2001: tell him to!

I am LOki: send me the url when its ready.

sethiesize: for taht pic that marlene sent?

I am LOki: yeah

sethiesize: http://dontpelorian.com/images/manboydaemian.gif

I am LOki: yeah!

I am LOki: is anyone available that can linkswarm that immediately?

sethiesize: i could



(OH YEAH!)



I am LOki: rawk it!

I am LOki: without damo knowing?

sethiesize: i can approve it

MeBeMo2001: cool

MeBeMo2001: yeah he's doing it now

I am LOki: shold I post it to irc?

MeBeMo2001: DONE

MeBeMo2001: no, let him find it

MeBeMo2001: he'll see it

I am LOki: k



So there it is. Out there. Irretrievable.



MeBeMo2001: we have just made history, for i believe this will be the most read and commented on link ever

I am LOki: indeed

MeBeMo2001: here it comes

MeBeMo2001: get ready



Somehow I get the impression that vasudeva didn't just "find" it for himself.



(Back in irc)

vladtweano: i think aim servers are meepting teh tub

vasudeva: not for me

vasudeva: mine are happy

vasudeva: rocking out in slowmo

vladtweano: i've heard that about you

vladtweano: snicker

vladtweano: haha

vasudeva: uh

vasudeva: meep0T.



It appears that the victim knows he's a victim.



vladtweano: it's shaping up to be pretty popular

vladtweano: fuking seff

llLOki: he's helpful

llLOki: i'd call him helpful seth



And now it's time to pile on.



FreeBoBo: no wonder there are no snicker bars left in syracuse

vasudeva: meepasses

MOMAD: ^_^

vasudeva: hah

vasudeva: i hope you're all enjoying your happy little joke

MOMAD: thoroughly

MOMAD: in fact, let me look at it again

MOMAD: yup, it's still funny

FreeBoBo: and again

FreeBoBo: it's still funny

FreeBoBo: it will never get old

vasudeva: Public Service Announcement



Uh oh, here it comes...



vasudeva: YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF meep0TS. THANK YOU.



So I point out the obvious...



llLOki: but we're not on the cover of nambla magazine.

MOMAD: more's the pity

FreeBoBo: So is NAMBLA looking to spread it's operations overseas?

FreeBoBo: they can't miss with their new poster boy!

FreeBoBo: http://dontpelorian.com/images/manboydaemian.gif

FreeBoBo: just look again

FreeBoBo: it doesn't get old



Here's the part where we worry that we have forever alienated our buddy vasudeva:



MeBeMo2001: MeBeMo2001: that took 4 people and a lot of love

MeBeMo2001: a lot of love

clokhed: well

clokhed: "some" love

MeBeMo2001: something tellsme he's less than amused

MeBeMo2001: which sucks

I am LOki: so he's seen it?

MeBeMo2001: it would seem so

MeBeMo2001: is it ok if i tell him you were in on it?

I am LOki: He's sorry he didn't think of it himself

MeBeMo2001: hahahaha!

I am LOki: tell away

MeBeMo2001: nice



So now I have to discover if my friend has been irreversably scarred by this:



I am LOki: hey

clokhed: hi

I am LOki: hi

clokhed: hi

I am LOki: hi

I am LOki: hows it going?

I am LOki: sup?

clokhed: hey

clokhed: hi you fukass

clokhed: hi

I am LOki: how are you doing?

clokhed: i'm fine

I am LOki: tha's good.

clokhed: what's up with you?

I am LOki: watchin irc, hangin on MR

clokhed: haha

I am LOki: how's the love?

clokhed: nambla style!

I am LOki: tasty snickers or what?

clokhed: fukass



Nope.



vasudeva: ok, guys

vasudeva: pretty good

vasudeva: i finished all the logs

vasudeva: i'm proud of you all

FreeBoBo cheers all the cospirators

vasudeva: that was approaching masterful

vasudeva: well done

MOMAD: :D

FreeBoBo winks ;)

MOMAD: let's take a bow guys

vasudeva: also, i hope a pencil falls and lands through your necks

MOMAD: guys?

MOMAD: alright, well

MOMAD bows

FreeBoBo: it was MOMAD

FreeBoBo: she did it all

FreeBoBo: don't blame us MR. Vasudeva

MOMAD: bobo , you WISH you had part in it

MOMAD: ;)

vasudeva: haha

llLOki: i have this wicked case of grinnitis from the experience doing this

MOMAD: actually, i wish you did too

MOMAD: :(

FreeBoBo is mad! >:(

vladtweano is too

vladtweano: khz is likely catching the next flight home

vasudeva: haha

vladtweano: he's all "oh boy oh boy i knew it i knew it lucky lucky me!"

MOMAD: 'i'm bringing lots of candybars!!!"

metatr0n bows - a bit late

MOMAD: .... yup, it's still funny

MOMAD: yay!

MOMAD: ben?

MOMAD: loki?

MOMAD: they missed their curtain call

llLOki: me/ bows

llLOki bows

vasudeva: yes, yes, you jackasses

vasudeva: all bow

vladtweano: lysdexia's a meep, innit loki?

llLOki: aye cappy

vasudeva: i suppose i can leave off grinning now

vasudeva: no, i suppose i can't

MOMAD: i knew this thing would be record-breaking

MOMAD: it's gonna be the most read and commented upon

vasudeva: haha

vasudeva: you meep

MOMAD: i could have put it in my journal and whisked myself up to the most popular

MOMAD: but who would i bet if i tried to gain anything from this personally?

vasudeva: dut you did it for the good of manking

vasudeva: <-- manking, naturally

MOMAD: manking, exactly



[epilogue]



I am LOki: dude, everyone who saw that page said the first thing that came into their heads: VASUDEVA!

clokhed: you are all a bunch of meep0ts

I am LOki: but we're not on the cover of nambla magazine.

clokhed: holy meep, you did a lot of logging

I am LOki: I didn't know how to do it

clokhed: i mean, there was a lot of conversation and planning

clokhed: it's orchestral

I am LOki: it's statement of love

clokhed: i understsand

clokhed: i've been quietly smirking to myslef for the last twenty minutes



Yup. And it's still funny.