|
| |
Site members can create their own journals and post comments. | A brief meeting with the Reaper Man 06-14-2004 at 08:03 pm
By this time the Grim Reaper and I are so familiar we call eachother by our first names. It seems we've been running into eachother on a fairly regular basis for quite some time. We've had several conversations. A couple were fairly long but most were short. Sometimes you can exchange a lot of information in a second or two.
Our most recent meeting took place last Thursday morning.
In my work as a surveyor I wind up in a lot of unusual places. On thursday morning I was working near an abandoned house fairly deep in the woods in one of those little pockets of Appalachia that kind of dot the northeast. I was working with a couple other guys but at this particular moment they were about 500 feet away.
Anyway, I'm walking through the woods near this derelict house. I took one step and noticed that the ground felt a bit soft but didn't think much of it until I took the next step and I could feel the ground begin to collapse underneath me.
I did my best to jump backwards and went air born for a second or two. And there he was. He gave me a sort of cheery wave and watched the proceedings. A moment later I came to rest, suspended by my ankles and shoulder blades across the top of an old well. I couldn't see much but I could tell it was at least 30 feet deep.
The Reaper Man looked on with interest. "Not this time, Huh?" I asked.
He shrugged his boney shoulders. "How long do you figure you can hang there like that?"
"Good Point." It's surprisingly difficult to maintain a rigid posture while suspended like that.
I examined my situation very carefully and quickly determined that there was absolutely no fucking way in the world that I was going to extricate myself. Even slight movement made the edges of the pit crumble beneath me.
"I don't suppose you could help me out here?"
"Sorry. Against the rules. You understand."
"Yeah, that's what I figured. Doesn't hurt to ask though."
"No. It doesn't."
"This is a pretty deep hole isn't it?"
"Deep enough. Aren't you starting to get tired? No rush or anything but I do have other places to visit today"
" A little but I'm sure you understand my desire to drag this out a bit."
He shrugged again and looked on as I carefully examined my options. The only one that seemed to have even the slightest chance of success was sreaming. I felt very un-macho as I began yelling my head off.
It took about 10 or 15 minutes of serious yelling before the other guys heard me and came to pull me out. By that time I was getting muscle spasms in my back. I might have been able to hold on for another minute or two but I kind of doubt it.
Once I was on solid ground the reaper man gave me his little wave again. He didn't even seem dissappointed as he said "See You soon." and kind of faded away.
I had yelled myself hoarse and couldn't even tell the other guys how I wound up in that strange position for about an hour.
By friday afternoon my back, shoulders and neck had solidifird into an inflexible mass of painful quivering muscles and tendons. I still have a sore throat
And I kind of wonder when I'll run into the Reaper Man again.
|
Posted Comments Registered site members may leave comments.
SexNinja 06-14-2004, 08:10 pm
INDIANA AZRON.
|
dumbskull 06-14-2004, 08:22 pm
Too bad you did not think to send him up here to Maine. I have a totally WORTHLESS, (does not work in or out of the house) x-surveyor we could substitute in your place.
|
MOMAD 06-14-2004, 08:30 pm
As uncomfortable as that experience sounds, I hate and love you for it. The love is that you see Satan when you fear death instead of God (it's refreshingly brutal and honest), and the hate is that your job yields at least somewhat interesting experiences for you, while mine pretty much floats in staring at stuff and struggling to understand ill-english-speaking foreigners. So tell me, what does Teh Reap Man look like? And don't say grim, asshoel.
|
MOMAD 06-14-2004, 08:54 pm
I must corect myself: The Grim Reaper and Satan are not one in the same. One is a delivery man, the other is one whom you get delivered to. I guess my visual brain just associated the skeletal, black-cloaked image of the GR with the equally frightening images of said Satanic dude. Anyhoo, carry on...
|
Clavis_Apocalypticae 06-15-2004, 06:14 am
Well done, old Chap. And hey; sounds like a perfect excuse for a Vicodin binge to me. Glad you're still here.
|
vasudeva 06-15-2004, 02:10 pm
"How long do you figure you can hang there like that?"
Rocking. Even better if any of this was true.
|
azron123 06-15-2004, 02:50 pm
It's a troo story dood.
|
SexNinja 06-15-2004, 04:05 pm
It better be, you fuk.
|
dumbskull 06-15-2004, 04:47 pm
Another classic Kodak moment missed!
|
azron123 06-15-2004, 05:22 pm
On the one hand I'm sorry I don't have pics of the whole thing. On the other hand I'm glad the guys didn't ask me to hang there for another couple minutes so they could take pictures.
Good news is that I'm finally getting some movement back in my neck and shoulders.
|
mudvayne_69_69_69 06-16-2004, 05:24 am
OK...so you're walking through the woods in what you call an "unusual place"..."An abandoned house fairly deep in the woods in one of those little pockets of Appalachia that kind of dot the northeast" Sounds to me like the begining of a cheesey horor movie where inbred hicks come up from behind and gangrape the whole lot of ya's...
I don't know about anybody else, but if I were in a place such as that, I'd be a little more aware of my surroundings, but hey, thats just me.
And you say that you took one step and noticed that the ground felt a bit soft but didn't think much of it until you took the next step and the ground began to collapse underneath you. Then you jump backwards, and land precariously on a well, that you somehow missed while walking in, I assume a straight line. Unless you we're walking in zig zags, like all normal people do, I could maybe see this happening, but it sounds like bullshit to me.
It's a great story, and well told, but I don't believe a lick of it, and I don't think many others do either.
|
azron123 06-16-2004, 06:10 am
It's true Mud. I didn't see the old well because it had some old rotten boards over it that were covered with dead leaves and dirt.
And I didn't pay much attention to the ground being soft because we've had a lot of rain and there are soggy spots all over.
OK, yeah, I bullshit from time to time but I don't hesitate to say when I am. And I only bullshit in the forums and the comments.
In this case I will freely admit to some literary embellishment. But the actual story is for real.
|
mudvayne_69_69_69 06-16-2004, 06:31 am
You're a decent man for admiting you wern't totaly bullshiting Az, I shouldn't have said the story was bullshit, and I do suppose everyone likes to embelish thier stories a little for the amusment of the swarmers. Thanks for the good read.....Kinda sucks you were so frank 'cause I was looking forward to using a newly found picture, but fuck it, I'll use it anyways....
|
azron123 06-16-2004, 02:22 pm
Jesus Mud. The entire conversation with death thing was a literary device I used to bring out what was going on in my own head while I was hanging over a very deep hole in the ground.
People who write stuff do that kind of thing all the time.
It's not Bull Shit it's just a way of expressing things that might otherwise be hard to put into words. It's the kind of thing you might find in like a book maybe. It was a big favorite of Joseph Conrad and Herman Melville and James Joyce. I'm not in their class but I try.
|
MOMAD 06-16-2004, 03:30 pm
If someone was to make up a story just for making-up-a-story's sake, I would be extremely surprised if THAT is what they came up with. Body teetering over an old well in the woods. That is either dull and uncreative to the point of snoozing, or immensely impressive in that it couldn't POSSIBLY be false with that sort of content. From what I've seen from Azron over the time he's been around, if he's making this thing up, I'm going with my latter assessment. Being that I do not think he's making it up, I also wonder what would have happened if he'd fallen into the well. I just watched The Ring, so I'm a little sad that that version of his story is something we'll never get to hear....
|
vasudeva 06-16-2004, 04:39 pm
James Joyce rocks my pussy off.
|
azron123 06-16-2004, 04:58 pm
Hey Dood! Happy Bloom Day!
|
azron123 06-16-2004, 05:05 pm
Don't be grumpy Ninja. It's Bloom Day!
|
Dumbskull 06-16-2004, 05:52 pm
OKay... you know someone was/is going to ask... WTF is Bloom day?
|
azron123 06-16-2004, 06:11 pm
In 1918 James Joyce published Ulysses, probably one of the best novels of the 20th century and certainly one that set the format for most of the novels written since. It was at least 20 or 30 years ahead of it's time.
The entire novel takes place on June 16, 1904. One day in the crappy life of an Irish Jew named Leopold Bloom. As Bloom wanders through Dublin he ponders the meaning of life, his cheating wife, death, sex, masturbation and all kinds of cool stuff.
It's June 16th. Bloom Day. A day to wander around being introspective and jerk off.
Go Bloom!
|
Dumbskull 06-16-2004, 10:10 pm
I know the author and his work however as it has been previously mentioned in another forum.... (GO MARF) Bloomsday. I wander aimlessly every day of my life and twiddle often ,so I do not have to have a special day to celebrate. :)
|
azron123 06-17-2004, 01:32 am
Go BloomSkull!
|
| |
| Sexual Asspussy | This is awesome.
This is the first pornsite I've found in years that I'd actually advertise to swarmers. When you first load it up, it looks just like every crappy scam site out there, except that it's real. It's huge, it's updated constantly, there's no spam, no popups, and no bullshit -- and it's completely free. When you sign up through that link above and respond to the confirmation email, I make a bit of loose change.
See what other swarmers have to say about it. People love this place, so I feel fine about sending you there and am confident you will enjoy boners.
|
|
| My God, It's Full of Azron |
|
|
|
