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A story of two egos. (A cautionary tale)
05-16-2009 at 01:15 am


My favorite brother(if only because he's the only one I've got) has reached a tipping point in his life.
About five years ago him and his wife bought a beautiful $500,000 home complete with swimming pool, three car garage, vaulted ceilings, etc, etc. We were all pretty happy for him. The thought occurred though; "How's he gonna pay for all this?"
He makes good money, but not that good. Him and his wife have top of the line furniture, new cars, matching new appliances and a penchant for throwing parties every week.
Being suspicious bastards and cheapskates to boot, our end of the family steered clear if only to keep him from spending money on us that we knew he couldn't afford.
Her side however, made the most of it. My brother's only complaint was the amount of time her family spent over at his house. He'd never admit to being broke. Ever. Not while he had a credit card that wasn't maxxed.
Last year his wife snapped. The pressure of keeping a day care operating to help him meet the bills was just too much. She felt trapped and just up and left for a few months. It was the cliche'd "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" bullshit. She filed for divorce and went and got a tattoo to represent "Her newfound freedom" She also hit up his medical insurance for a gastric bypass. (Which she should have done years ago) When she came back my brother went to live with our elderly, but active mom. She is a direct descendant of the Mccoy clan and if you spend a few hours in her presence , there's no fucking way you could miss it. (Hint; You know the mother from Everybody Loves Raymond? I swear to Christ our mom could very well have taught her everything she knows.)
Things stayed that way for the better part of a year. Nobody paid the mortgage company a dime all that time and a few things got repossessed.
Everybody told him he was a free man now and could get his life on track. No more living beyond his means. File bankruptcy, wait out the child support (two years worth) and it'd be over. He'd have a fresh start and be happy as hell.

A few months ago this 41 year old man refinanced a $600,000 loan on a house worth $400,000 for FOURTY YEARS. My family members usually crap out and die at about 68 when their NOT living under any kind of stress. (What's 41 plus 40?)
She decided to "let him come back" just before the sheriff started throwing their shit out in the yard.
She said it was for their two (Highschool age) kids.
She hasn't worked in months and has no plans to start.

My bro asked our mother(remember her?) and her alchoholic grab-assy husband to come live with them to help with the bills.

There is not a phrase in the entire english language that can describe the shit that is about to occur.
"Reality Show" comes close though.

So...

Where's a good place to live that's at least a thousand miles from California?









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Dragonstaff       05-16-2009, 01:54 am
Australia.


bobacus       05-16-2009, 03:03 am
I hear Canada is nice.


middle_age_man       05-16-2009, 03:16 am
Canada fucking rocks, just don't eat the moose cock, not even on a dare.


Dumbskull       05-16-2009, 05:47 am
I expect updates on this as they occur.


Spankerchief       05-16-2009, 05:55 am
Australia sounds nice. Surrounded by ocean, inhabited by more poisonous animals than a high school pep rally...Might work.

I've been to Vancouver. Absolutely gorgeous. I remember a place called Suzie Q's...


LORDKAHUNA       05-16-2009, 06:01 am
Canada fucking rocks, just don't eat the moose cock, not even on a dare.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Fuck I havn't heard that ref in years.

For the un-initiated:
Two Canadians get bored during a long car trip and start playing 20 questions.
The first guy thinks of a moose cock and tells the other to start guessing.
"Is it something you can eat?" his friend asks.
The first guy chuckles and replies, "I guess you could eat it, if you really wanted to."
The friend asks, "Is it a moose cock?"


mofo       05-18-2009, 04:56 am
"Reality Show" comes close though.

Why not install cameras and profit?


freakmachine       05-18-2009, 02:35 pm
Shouldn't "fourty" be spelled "forty?"


"Forty is an octagonal number, and as the sum of the first four pentagonal numbers, it is a pentagonal pyramidal number. Adding up some subsets of its divisors (e.g., 1, 4, 5, 10 and 20) gives 40, hence 40 is a semiperfect number.

Given 40, the Mertens function returns 0. 40 is the smallest number n with exactly 9 solutions to the equation φ(x) = n.

Forty is the number of n-queens problem solutions for n = 7.

Since the greatest prime factor of 402 + 1 = 1601 is prime and obviously more than 40 twice, 40 is a Strmer number.

40 is a repdigit in base 3 (1111) and a Harshad number in base 10."

P.S. RUN AWAY, FAR FAR AWAY, the trainwreck will be massive.



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