Dumbskull       07-23-2008, 04:53 pm

:-(

jwalker       07-23-2008, 05:13 pm

yer ass gonna git raped

nurgleming       07-23-2008, 06:01 pm

vasudeva       07-23-2008, 06:02 pm

HOLY NIGGER PANTS

YOU DYIN

bobacus       07-23-2008, 06:23 pm

Sure that linkswarms isn't going to fuck up that securitah clearance?

Crackalackin       07-23-2008, 07:44 pm

I'm guessing your spleen can't be as eloquent in your posts as the whole you?

Crackalackin       07-23-2008, 07:45 pm

I mean, that's one way to lose some weight -- is to spread it thinly along a dusty road in the Anbar province

johnlenin       07-23-2008, 08:10 pm

Those filthy terrorists are going to praise Allah for giving them such an easy-peasy headshot.

johnlenin       07-23-2008, 08:25 pm

also: new baby + this = brilliant

LORDKAHUNA       07-23-2008, 09:17 pm

steel       07-24-2008, 08:32 am

LinkSwarm: So how was it overseas? Whats the Gov'ment up to these days?
Wrecker: I don't recall.

mundhra       07-24-2008, 02:49 pm

re-entry makes me think of docking. sorry buddy.

Clavis_Apocalypticae       07-24-2008, 02:56 pm

Neckbeard has just defined prescient for the class :)

truenative       07-24-2008, 07:40 pm

wotak       07-24-2008, 09:41 pm

I disagree with this entire idea.

fastlane       07-24-2008, 09:51 pm

mundhra       07-24-2008, 11:27 pm

I disagree with this entire idea.

if it'll keep my gas prices lower, i'm all for it.

wrecker       08-02-2008, 06:38 am

UPDATE:
Over ten years ago, I was arrested for 'domestic assault' but after completing the required anger management courses (which cost me $780) and staying out any further trouble, the charge was expunged from my record. Or so I hoped.

Anyway, in order to work in intelligence, one must possess a security clearance which requires a lot of paperwork with a lot of ancient information about where you have lived and worked, and who have you been in contact with, and where you have traveled, etc. For those familiar, you know I am talking about the SF86 form.

So, in an effort to not appear to be trying to hide anything, even though the charge was supposed to be expunged, I mentioned the offense on the SF86 form. Then the shit storm ensued.

The recruiters came back and said, "If you have this on your record, you will not be allowed to work in intel. Period". So I explained the situation to them and that the charge should not even be there but I didn't want to NOT put it and them find out later because that could be very bad for me. So we agreed to wait for the outcome of my criminal background check before proceeding since I told them that if I don't get the job the want, I'm not enlisting at all.

On Thursday, my background check came back and it is totally clean, so I am good to proceed with the process. However, because of this, my actual start date will not be until sometime in October, most likely.

p.s. The domestic violence charge was bullshit. I didn't hit, choke, or throw my ex to the ground ( I kinda wish now that I had, seeing all the trouble this incident had caused. It would have at least been worth it.). She was kicking my friend's car and I pulled her back away from it. As soon as I touched her, BAM, assault. The cop that showed up on the scene was pretty cool about the whole thing and if it would have been up to him, I would not have been arrested at all. But his supervisor ordered him to arrest me so that they would be covered in the event that I came back later and beat the shit/killed the ex.

The arresting officer asked me if I was going to cause him any trouble, and I told him "No". He put the cuffs on me in front of me, and only clicked them on notch. I could have pulled the things off my hands, no problem. We got to the station, where I was fingerprinted and photographed, then they took my shoes and put me into a cell by myself. The cop told me he would be back in a few minutes after he finished some paperwork. I sat in the cell for about 30 minutes until he came back and apologized again for having to arrest me, told me that he had just posted my bail and that I didn't have to sit in the jail cell waiting for someone to pick me up. When my girlfriend (now wife) came to pick me up, I paid the cop back the bail money ($25) signed some paperwork and went home.

metatron       08-02-2008, 07:52 am

It's criminal scum like you that DON'T DESERVE TO SERVE MY COUNTRY!

Phlebas       08-02-2008, 11:02 pm

Why do you WANT to re-enlist in the military RIGHT NOW? This is the stuff that furthers 18-year-olds, not men with children. If our political landscape doesn't change, there is a chance you will be locked into WW3.

Aside from the G.I. bill, why the fuck would you want to enlist right now?

wrecker       08-03-2008, 06:19 am

I can't answer that question in a way that you could possibly understand or accept.

It's difficult to explain, but I actually enjoyed my time in the military (1990-98). I am not one of those who joined up "to go to college" or "to see the world" or any other bullshit. That is all fringe benefit crap.

I would have never gotten out in the first place, had it not been for my ex-wife making my life a living hell by calling my command and making outrageous accusations every other day. I would have stayed in and served 20+ years. Since the day I was discharged, there has been a hole in my life from something I left unfinished. Now, I am at a point in my life where I can finish what I started. This is why I am doing this. There is some risk involved, but to me the risks are acceptable. Apparently, they are acceptable to my wife as well, since I would not be doing this without her blessing.

Once I am in, I am not even eligible for deployment for at least a year since I need to be trained first. I am not going to be shipped overseas as soon as I am sworn in. There is a good chance that things will start to change by that point, new president and all.

Also, I am not in the least bit bothered about being deployed. I have been deployed before, twice. To a combat zone. I have been there and done that and it doesn't bother me. Sure, it's scary sometimes, but one doesn't join the military to dig ditches at home.

Then there is the fact that I will be an Intel analyst. Not sure if you are familiar, but they aren't typically stuck on the front lines. The Navy spends a lot of money to train you, so it's not in their best interests to use you as a bullet sponge. That's what Marines are for. So I will not be storming a beach or kicking in a door in Sadr City. If deployed, I will be standing comm watch in the Joint Communications Center. Not every job in the military involves shooting a rifle.

Dumbskull       08-03-2008, 04:16 pm

When I got out of the US Canoe Club after a zillion years and the only thing I missed was the pay checks.

You seem to have forgotten about all of the BS you are once again going to have to endure and then later question…

Why the fuck you decided to do this shit in the first place such as standing in a long line to give a random piss tests almost weekly

Higher ranking fart knockers up your ass about how totally insignificant shit

The smell that permeates the air in your sleeping quarters from the dude who has a fear of water and does not shower on a regular basis.

Attention to detail is very important; when was the last time you spit shinned your boots or shoes?

Do you recall how to fold your shirts and dungarees in such as way that your uniform of the day looks like it has been iron pressed? \

You won’t get a comfy sofa with a cold beer in front of the tube. You will get a small mattress with 5 year old year old cum stains and if your boat/sub is really crowded you are going to hot rack it with a dude who is a chronic masturbator. I mentioned sub/boat simply because I figure after you’re training you are going to be a valuable asset and are GOING DOWN.

You are going to hate your life, miss your wife and family and wonder what the fuck LS is doing without you giving us shit on a daily basis. You might be able to log in on occasion with a cheery heads up to let us know you are still alive and well…but it will not be the same you messages will be monitored.

You could very well get orders out of school that were not at all what you asked for or expected. You could find your self on a shore station that resembles a massive cat box; nothing but sand as far as the eye can see and the only bitch not covered from head to toe in dark fabric is a skank ho with an odor of festering rot from her twat…and then after awhile you will get used to the smell dead tuna you start to think she looks damn good.

Dude, don’t do it.

The Canoe Club you knew ten years ago is not the same as it is today. I was in for awhile… it used to be fun; it was a fucking blast to be honest. The Canoe Club I knew was run by OLD SKOOL chiefs and first classes who stepped up and covered for the BS of their gang bangers. I did the same when it was my turn to step. My guys would on occasion call me up in the middle of the night and tell me straight up they were crunker than shit and laid up with some bitch…and an Oh BTW I’m gonna be late. Yeah, I covered, but they also understood I would indeed make their lives a living hell in other ways for pulling me out of bed at zero dark thirty in the morning for their crunk asses. I was the last of the OLD SKOOL Canoe Club; I didn’t rat out or write up although if I had many who are now enjoying their retirement today would have been kicked out years ago.

If you are thinking about doing this for a GI Bill for education, let me tell you this… I have THREE college degrees and didn’t use any GI assistance at all. I received grants and academic scholarships and even worked full time. You don’t have to re-enlist to go back to school.


Dude, don’t do it.

wrecker       08-04-2008, 08:04 am

DUMBSKULL: Reserves. One weekend a month, two weeks a year. I am NOT going back to the regular Navy. Get it?

wrecker       08-04-2008, 08:15 am

When I got out of the US Canoe Club after a zillion years and the only thing I missed was the pay checks.

When you got out they were still paying you with grog.

Attention to detail is very important; when was the last time you spit shinned your boots or shoes?

At least once a week, sometimes more.

Do you recall how to fold your shirts and dungarees in such as way that your uniform of the day looks like it has been iron pressed?

Why yes. Yes I do.

You are going to hate your life, miss your wife and family and wonder what the fuck LS is doing without you giving us shit on a daily basis. You might be able to log in on occasion with a cheery heads up to let us know you are still alive and well…but it will not be the same you messages will be monitored.

Ummmm, no. Reserves. See previous comment post.

Phlebas       08-04-2008, 11:48 pm

No, I think you did answer my query very well. Life is different for all who live it.

I understand that you wouldn't be dodging bullets. The question, though, was borne of an even greater lack of understanding.

I have a fear of military service. I have issues with authority.

In high school, the Navy sought me out for Nuclear Science. I thought (at that time) that it was insane for our armed forces to look to a child for such a thing. As I grow older, I realize the chance to learn that field is long gone.

Sorry I questioned your commitment.

LORDKAHUNA       08-05-2008, 10:21 am

I keep looking at this journal title and seeing "Rear-entry".

MstrLance       08-07-2008, 07:53 pm

"...I was arrested..."

("KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

wotak       08-08-2008, 12:32 am

Wrecker,

I think you're being stupid and short sighted.

Perhaps I'm wrong.

Good luck with this shit.

wrecker       08-08-2008, 07:08 am

I think you're being stupid and short sighted.

Perhaps I'm wrong.

1) You are wrong Wotak. Big surprise.

2) I I have tried to avoid playing this card during this discussion, but you give me no other choice. Just because you are too big of a pussy to commit to something like this doesn't make it stupid. I have explained my reasons thoroughly and if you are too thick to understand then that is your problem, not mine.

I'm not sure if you ever served, but if you did, I think I know your type. Didn't pay attention to what was being told to you during the recruitment phase, ended up signing up for some shitty job/post, spent your four years bitching and complaining about how "the recruiter LIED to me", and now harbor bitter feelings over your own bad decisions.

See, that wasn't me. I paid attention, I didn't just sign blindly, I still almost got fucked over but was smart enough to correct things. I got exactly the job I wanted and exactly the duty stations I wanted. I was good at what I did and I enjoyed doing it. How can you love a job where one of your responsibilities is to carry the launch keys for a complement of Harpoon missiles? I was what people call a 'Lifer'. I knew it, hell everyone knew it, and it fucking shocked people when I got out. But when the situation was explained, they all understood. Looking back, I know now that I could have probably weathered the bullshit that the ex was throwing my way, but that is water under the bridge.

So you see Wotak, my rejoining isn't stupid. If anything, my getting out was the stupid part. Feel free to continue being a pussy.

wotak       08-08-2008, 08:32 am

Yes, I served. It was over 20 years ago that I entered and I loved my time in the service. 11B was my MOS of choice and I never regretted the experience.

I've looked back on this experience many times and even wished I'd stayed in a time or two. I could have been retired by now.

On the other hand, I would have missed what has proven to be an even more important and rewarding experience for me: My family.

It just seems to me that you're giving up on life outside of the service and falling back in as a last resort. Like I said, I could be wrong (it's been known to happen) but I get a feeling that I'm not. Either way, these are just so many words typed into the internet and they are not meant to mock you or your decision, only to question it.

I have a lot of first hand experience with family members returning from service under this administration (my Mother has 7 sisters and a brother who all had large families) and none of it is good.

YMMV - and I'm sure you've considered this but I still feel it's a decision that a friend should push you to question... even a pussified, half real, internet "friend" whom you've never met.

vasudeva       08-08-2008, 08:46 am

NOOOOOOOO

THE BALDS MUST FIGHT

nurgleming       08-08-2008, 01:30 pm

Lord kahuna: I keep looking at this journal title and seeing "Rear-entry".

hmmm, freud would surely have something to say about this, or maybe i've founf what your problem is, too much pulp fiction

nurgleming       08-08-2008, 01:30 pm

Lord kahuna: I keep looking at this journal title and seeing "Rear-entry".

hmmm, freud would surely have something to say about this, or maybe i've found what your problem is, too much pulp fiction

wrecker       08-29-2008, 10:33 am

Last week I had to go down for my physical to verify that I was medically qualified for military service. Everyone entering the military, officer and enlisted has to go through this.

I got home from work a little bit before 6 PM on Monday. The recruiter was supposed to pick me up at 6 to head in to the Hilton in Waltham, MA to drop me off. Everyone on their way to MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) is made to stay in a hotel the night before. This way, the military knows where you are and doesn't have to worry that you won't change your mind and not show up. There were maybe 80-90 kids there, the majority of which were all heading out to boot camp the next day.

I go and get checked in, and am given the whole speech about how I am not allowed to leave the hotel without checking with the duty officer, blah blah blah, and how there are to be no unauthorized people in my room, no outgoing phone calls and pay-per-view has been disabled. Oh yeah, they have XBox and PlayStation for check out. Wake up calls will be sent out at 4:30am. Here's your dinner and breakfast pass.

I took all my shit and went over to my room. I walked in and found out that I was going to have a roommate. And guess what, he's leaving for boot camp tomorrow! Oh fucking joy! When he learned that I was prior service, he started talking my fucking ear off asking questions about boot camp.

I prefaced everything I told him by saying that I had gone through boot over 18 years ago and I was pretty sure that they had probably changed some things, then proceeded to tell him the most fucked up shit I could remember. I'm pretty certain that I scared the living shit out of that kid, and if so, my work was done.

4:30 rolled around, and guess what, no fucking wake up call. I remembered this from my first time around and was smart enough to set the alarm on my phone. This is just one of the little fucked up mind games that the military tries to play. So I got up and got dressed, then woke the roomie up and enjoyed his panic rush to get all his shit and make the bus on time. I know that was a bullshit thing to do, but who am I to ruin this experience for him?

I strolled down to the lobby and watched all the scared recruits starting to congregate. There was this clown who I suppose was in charge taking roll and making sure no one had bailed. He was yelling at the kids like he was some sort of drill instructor and I couldn't help but laugh. I saw the buses pull up so I headed out and got on making sure to sit in very fucking front. Once the bus filled up, the clown comes on and starts yammering about how "THIS IS NOT A GAME!!! BLAH BLAH BLAH". That was pretty much the only lie I heard that day, but I heard it over and over.

This shit is exactly a game. It is a game where you are not supposed to know the rules and they won't tell you the rules. This gives them a level of power over you which allows for control. It's the first phase of boot camp where they begin to strip you of your identity in order to reform you in their image. But it is most definitely a game and knowing the rules, having been through all this shit before, makes the game a thousand times easier.

Like on the bus, I made it my goal for the day to be, if not at, at least near the front of every line. Your day at MEPS is a series of lines to stand in. There is a line for checking in to medical, there is a line for the eye check, a line for peeing into a cup, a line to get blood drawn, you get the picture. I have to say, I did a pretty good job. I probably pissed a lot of people off but I didn't really care since aside from the staff at MEPS, I was the oldest motherfucker in the room. There were a few lines that I just walked to the head of and cut in front of all the others already standing there. Part of the game is you have to act and look like you know what you are doing and that your doing what you are supposed to be. By confidently going to the head of the line, the other dumb asses just assumed that I was supposed to be there and no one said a word. It's all just a game.

In the end, I passed my physical and was deemed qualified for military service. The only point of concern that I had going into it was my weight. According to the military, I am supposed to weigh no more than 206. I went in there at 213 so I had to be measured for body fat. My limit for body fat is 22, and I just made that.

So after that, I was done. I was given a box lunch and told to give my recruiter a call to come pick me up. I was eating my sammich when the roommate showed up with his new friend who was also heading out to boot camp. She started spouting off about all the shit she was going to do and started asking me about boot camp. Again, I prefaced it all by saying my boot camp had been over 18 years ago (to which she responded "that was before I was even born") then I proceeded to scare the ever loving shit out of her. I'm pretty sure she was ready to cry when my recruiter showed up to take me back home.

All in all, I'd say it was a fairly successful day.

vasudeva       08-29-2008, 12:42 pm

Wrecker's Big Day Out

Sounds like Capt. Obvious has found a place where he can teach the basics over and over again, huzzah.

mundhra       08-29-2008, 03:59 pm

EVERYONE ON THEIR WAY TO MEEPS.

Dumbskull       08-29-2008, 05:46 pm

Wow, this really brought back memories, expect the part about not leaving the hotel the night before.

We not only left, we went hit a few bars in Knoxville and got rip roaring snot slinging drunk with the asshats in charge the night before going to AFEES. Our wake up call was at 5AM, but the fire alarm in the hotel went off at 4AM because 8 people were stuffed into the tiny bathroom clam baking. We were studying were the big exam. :-)

This was back in the Triassic era before piss tests and the asshats in charge were low ranked and only there because a judge had told them to enlist or go to jail.

lefen       08-30-2008, 05:15 pm

Thanks, Wrecker. Your account of day one at boot camp has ensured that I will never, ever consider military service (^.^)

Heather       08-30-2008, 10:37 pm

You don’t have to go to boot camp?

4:30 rolled around, and guess what, no fucking wake up call. Yadda yadda OH GET OUT. There was this clown who I suppose was in charge taking roll and making sure no one had bailed. He was yelling at the kids like he was some sort of drill instructor and I couldn't help but laugh.

No one at the fucking Hilton was pissed off that some jughead was screaming his head off at 4:30am?

I weigh 206. My body fat is 22.

I weigh almost 140 and my body fat is the same. I thank you for my delve into self disgust and congratulate you on meeting your goal.

wrecker       08-31-2008, 11:16 pm

Lefen: No this was for my physical and medical screening. This was not boot camp, but where those going to boot camp go the day they depart for boot camp.

Heather: I don't have to go to boot camp because I am prior service and going back in to the reserves. I will have to go to "A" and "C" Schools for the job I am taking, but that will all count as reserve drill time.

B3ardo       09-03-2008, 01:15 pm

So will you be going to sea when this process is complete?

If so, how does your family feel about the impending abscence?

Are your kids (if you have kids) older or young?

wrecker       09-04-2008, 10:39 am

So will you be going to sea when this process is complete?

That is always a possibility in the event I am deployed. However the chances of my being deployed to a ship (unless I request it, which I probably would if given the choice) are small. In the event of a deployment, it is far more likely that I will be stuck in a Comm Center.

If so, how does your family feel about the impending absence?

If my family was not OK with this, I wouldn't be doing it. End of story.

Are your kids (if you have kids) older or young?

I have three kids ranging from newborn (this past May) to 14. And what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

B3ardo       09-04-2008, 12:39 pm

"I have three kids ranging from newborn (this past May) to 14. And what does that have to do with the price of tea in China? "

I have a 19 year old daughter who never knew her dad, I would have made different choices if I knew how our relationship ended up. She isn't a trainwreck or a drug addict or anything, just a stranger. I see you contemplating doing this to 3 kids and I'm just going to point out that you could miss a lot of life-stuff while chasing job-stuff.

I did my time in the service (Canadian Airborne Regiment) and was in Somalia (91-93). I know a lot of people who served in other branches of the forces. One thing I learned was that most of the rank and file I served with were losers.

Most of them were "good" guys and well suited to being ordered around, but most I remain in contact with kinda became deadbeats in the world within a couple of years. I see you heading toward an incentive program which is specifically designed to net as many mouthbreathers as possible, offering free shit (that hasn't really proven it's value yet) as prizes for your mistake. "Don't be stupid" is pretty much what I want to say (I dunno, arguements on websites are not really my strong suit).

B3ardo       09-15-2008, 11:59 am

Hey guy, I got your cowardly private message and I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say in here. The personal attack makes you kind of a douchebag and I think you talk like that "in private" to hide that from everyone here.

nurgleming       09-15-2008, 12:07 pm

don't worry, wrecker's not just a private douchebag, he's a public one too!

wrecker       09-15-2008, 01:46 pm

OH NOES!!! My cover has been blown wide the fuck open!!! Now everyone will know that I am a douchebag!!!

Nigga please.

Listen here you fucking twat, I took that shit offline in an effort to give you the benefit of the doubt for being new and to not openly fucking flame you. And how do you repay me? You fucking try to hitch up your big boy pants and come steamrolling in here full of piss and vinegar.

Well then, please allow me to retort; Fuck you you goddamn Canadian faggot. I hope you get cancer.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

B3ardo       09-15-2008, 02:11 pm

What I don't understand is the need to flame in the first place, what did I say that was particularily offensive (offensive enough to PM me your bona fides)?

Also WTF cancer, faggot, steamrolling??

johnlenin       09-15-2008, 02:32 pm

Aw shit, son. You just got

B3ardo       09-15-2008, 07:28 pm

Wow it's surprising that I can still walk after my first internet beat down.

(lol?)

Heather       09-15-2008, 09:43 pm

Definitely lol

SexNinja       09-15-2008, 10:17 pm

tantrum       09-15-2008, 11:29 pm

Finally I give a fuck about this journal entry. ;)