LOki       07-20-2008, 08:23 am

Wrecker.

You are losing water weight. You need excess water to burn fat. The process is called hydrolysis. There is a limit to the amount of water you can lose (and I'm about 99% confident you aren't optimally hydratedto begin with); you will hit the wall long before your 14 pound goal.

Enter the Laws of Thermodynamics: There ain't no such thing as a free lunch--which will become a moot point since you're not going to get lunch anyway.

Your pills cannot magic the fat away--they *can* assist you in achieving the ABSOLUTELY-FUCKING-AND-IN-NO-WAY-ARGUABLE neccesary calorie defecit to lose weight.

FACTS to consider:
1) There are about 1,814 calories in a pound of protein, and about 4,082 calories in a pound of fat.

The efficient way to lose pounds is to lose proteins. After all, for each pound lost, you've only had to burn up less than half the calories you own in protiens as opposed to those you own as fat. You might consider the consequences of doing this. The obvious consequence is the loss of muscle mass; you may not care that your arms and legs will be made of string when you're done, but you will want to note that your heart is a muscle too. Furthemore your body is not terribly discriminatory about what proteins get consumed for energy, so its not just your heart at risk, but every other thing in your botdy made of proteins--which is just about everything but your bones and teeth.

Your better bet is losing fat. This however requires you to burn more calories to achieve the same weight loss. This means that to achieve your goal of losing 14 pounds in 14 days, you need to achieve a calorie defecit of 4,082 calories a day if you can manage to burn only fat--which you can't, but the point will still be illustrated. Over 14 days, this means a total calorie defecit of 57,148 calories.

2) Running at a 10 minute mile pace burns about 900 calories in an hour.

This means that if you bring in not ONE-FUCKING-CALORIE-WHAT-SO-FUCKING-EVER, you have to run for 63.5 hours. That's over 4 and a half hours of running EVERY-FUCKING-DAY, without eating anything during those 14 days.

3) There are but 24 hours in a day. 18 of which you spend at your job (not meeting your calorie defecit goal), and sleeping (not meeting your calorie defecit goal). After 5 hours of running, you're left with 1 hour to brush your teeth and (hopefully) take a shit.

I'm not trying to be a buzz-kill, but you're going to fail at this--and for your own good, you should.

wrecker       07-20-2008, 09:07 am

Thanks for the buzz-kill LOki. Also for making my head hurt with math.

I went into this knowing that this is a quick fix to a bigger issue. Once this round is over I will not continue down this path. The ultimate loss of 14 lbs is my goal, but in no way did I ever expect this method to get me to that weight. This is just more of a jump start. After this Wednesday, I am done with this stuff.

I fully intend to lose the weight through exercise and eating right, a couple of things I have already started. For example, I have cut out soda altogether and am drinking nothing but water. Lots and lots of water.

All in all, I would not recommend anyone ever doing this. The purpose of this journal is to share this experience in case someone else was considering this path.

Seriously though, thanks for the input.

wrecker       07-20-2008, 09:26 am

The crotch sweat should be enough to dissuade anyone from ever wanting to try this.

Regulator       07-20-2008, 10:24 am

wrecker your new name shall be pee pants.

wrecker       07-20-2008, 10:38 am

Pee Pants. That is exactly what it feels like.

:(

Day 4 (cont.)
I think my problem yesterday was my water intake. I drank a lot of water, but not nearly as much as the previous days. I think this was evidenced by the lack of or lessening of the aforementioned crotch sweat.

Today, I am drinking water like the previous days and the crotch sweat is in full effect.


And before anyone asks "Wrecker, why are you doing this?" I will answer with "That is another journal" which will be up in the next few days.

nocal       07-20-2008, 12:54 pm

check out the velocity diet

1) lift weights
2) drink 5 protein shakes a day
3) take fish oil supplements
4) take a fat burner in the morning and pre work out

if you did this, you would lose approximately 2% body fat per week. taking me as an example: i'm about 210 with 15% body fat, meaning just over 30 pounds of fat. if i did this for 3 weeks, i would be down to 9% body fat, which would be around 12 pounds of fat lost.

of course it requires weight lifting and a liquid diet. ie hard work.

Dumbskull       07-20-2008, 07:55 pm

There is a caffeine free version of this same diet pill. However, you could save the cash and just load up on black coffee all day and get the same effect. Caffeine can act as diuretic.

I'm not going to give you the blah blah about weight loss, eating healthy and getting off you ass... just be careful with the increased caffeine intake. If you are already overweight you do not need to be taking something that could potentially stress your heart.

You did not get to your your present size/girth in two short weeks so it is unreasonable to think you are going to take it off and keep it off in only two weeks.

nocal       07-20-2008, 09:39 pm

hey guys i need to make money real fast

instead of doing some cursory reading, working hard, perhaps hiring a headhunter, i saw something on an infomercial about doing it really fast

it's not really working that well and i'm not really applying any effort

and yet i'm sharing this info in a place where it's mostly read by poor people

updates later!

vasudeva       07-20-2008, 10:03 pm

Wrecker, you should increase your chances for weight loss by really shocking your body. Immediately after you exercise, slam a couple 8oz glasses of cold water -- this helps by forcing your stomach to raise the temperature of the water you've just ingested. Good for a couple dozen calories at least. As soon as you're done with that, take a cold shower, as cold as you can stand, for about 15 minutes. It'll be a good way to cool off from the running and will cause your body expend a 'boost' of energy trying to reach equilibrium temperature. You may get kind of dizzy at this point; that's your body unleashing a disgusting torrent of fat calories -- i.e., you are now 'epic win'. You can help alleviate the dizziness by intermittently forcing your brain and nervous system to 'reorient' with regard to up and down. A good way to do that is to lead a couple of long wires from a car battery in your bathroom window into the shower and grip these tightly as you rinse off.

Best of luck bra, let us know how it goes.

thefamousnomo       07-21-2008, 02:48 am

dont know if this will help, but i was stretching 36in denims not too long ago, and had a bit of trouble getting started

this helped

bhf diet

and i still do this now and again if i feel that im carrying a little holiday weight! get decent results, but never 10lbs

good luck!

magicchex       07-21-2008, 06:02 am

First of all, crotch sweat is fixed by gold bonding every morning after you shower.

Second, weight watchers. Fuck the groups or meetings or whatever the fuck, but just get the materials online. It'll reteach you how to eat. I did it by the material for 3 weeks, then after that stopped counting points cause it had taught me how to eat right. WIthin another 3 weeks after that, so 6 weeks total, I had lost a total of 30 pounds. Worked sweet. Kept it off till jail.

wrecker       07-21-2008, 07:31 am

Thanks for all the advice, but it's really not needed. I know how to lose the weight and keep it off. Like I said, I am doing this simply to drop a little bit of weight fast, whether that be water weight or whatever. I just need to get down within a window then I will lose the weight properly.

Weight Watchers fucking works, but is too slow for my needs right at this very moment. After Wednesday of this week, the real long term diet/workout schedule begins.

BTW - Day 5 weight: 218.

steel       07-22-2008, 12:01 pm

Lemme guess! If you don't lose the weight you have to fight the scarier guy in the bigger weight class?

wrecker       07-22-2008, 01:43 pm

Steel: Close, but no.

mundhra       07-22-2008, 03:15 pm

sweet leisure suit reunion.

sugarslim       07-22-2008, 04:28 pm

Loki's caloric breakdown discounted your BMR, which I cant give you but I can estimate that its somewhere on the topside of 2000 calories a day. That is you are burning 2000 calories a day AT REST. So if your job is sedentary and you spend an hour at the aforementioned 10 min mile, and you dont eat, you will burn 40600 cal over two weeks and then you would die. So you would still fail.

So what would it take to do it? Assuming your willing to survive on 1000 calories a day and exercise four hours a day (assuming 900 cal an hour) your energy balance would equal: 2000 cal BMR + 3600 cal (exercise) -1000 cal (food) = 4600 cal expended a day, which given your remaining 12 days would equal 55200 cal burned, which should put you past your goal and probably with a bit of saggy skin. Metabolically speaking the numbers probably dont work quite so nicely, but what the fuck do I know? I just made all this up. I still think you can do it.

MstrLance       07-22-2008, 06:56 pm

Two words, my friend:

TAPE WORMS



...but you're going to need to down a lot of those fuckers to lose 14 lbs by tomorrow.

Then again, there's always the hatchet option. How much does your foot weigh?

wrecker       07-22-2008, 07:02 pm

I stopped taking the pills today and I already feel better. Bottom line, fuck those things.

I go tomorrow for my weigh-in so after that I will share the results. I can be over the weight (206) so long as I am under bodyfat (22% or less). I would be concerned about this except that the bodyfat measurement to be done is galactically inaccurate. Basically, they measure the waist and the neck. THe neck is subtracted from the waist and that is the number.

If I don't make the cut tomorrow, odds are I will go back in two weeks to try again.

Clavis_Apocalypticae       07-22-2008, 07:22 pm

Dude.

If they measure your neck, you're fuking HOSED :(

Shine on, you crazy meathair.

wrecker       07-28-2008, 04:44 am

FUCKIN' UPDATE!!!

Phase One complete, begin Phase Two
After my initial weigh-in I quit taking those fucking Hydroxycuts. It took me about two to three days to stop feeling twitchy. The crotch sweat has stopped, thank God. And my weight promptly bounced from 218 to 221.

Up to that point, we had been eating meals loosely based on the Weight Watchers point system and I had been trying to follow that. Starting on last Tuesday, I started following that shit religiously.

In fact, I have been making it a point to be under points each day. The idea of being under points is supported by the Weight Watchers system, but only for two weeks. And I have stopped running a set distance and began running for at least 30 minutes straight.

Since last Tuesday, I have gone from 221 to 217.