Long buried hostilities between Spyder (Spydy Cat) and Munkey (Munk the Punk) escalated into a bloodcurdling hissing battle last evening after Spydy was emancipated from solitary confinement in the hall closet. Spydy immediately blazed to the water bowl and slurped it dry while Munk the Punk sat hissing spit wads towards his younger rival.

The events leading up to this latest conflict are speculated to have started when Spydy ran into the closet Friday morning as the roommate was rushing around to get out and about for a day trip to BFI (Bum Fuck, IL). The dishwasher, stereo, TV and cell phones drowned out Spydy’s weak and thirsty cries for help after I arrived home. Although most days the boys are waiting to greet us at the door, there are times when neither have the motivation to get up off their slow lethargic fat asses for treats. So when Spydy was not up my ass sideways I was not alarmed since Munk the Punk with his 29 pound lard filled carcass was bouncing around my heels. According to the roommate aggressions between the two black male cats broke out about a year and a half ago when Munkey found he was going to have to share his wonderful cat life with the younger Spyder; however over the past few months both appeared to have put all previous grudges behind them and have often caught fagging out with each other.

Since Spyder was set free, he’s been lurking fearfully around the house while Munkey sulks. Spyder fears I will lock him back in the closet, even though I wasn’t the one who shut him in and Munkey is ripping pissed because I let Spyder out!

I shall totally mind fuck these two lil fuckers by shaking the cat treat jar and then walk away not giving treats!