freakbass       11-18-2006, 12:08 am

that sounds fucking horrible. :(
sorry to hear this. please keep us posted of her progress.

if she's stable and her vitals are improving, it sounds like things are going as well as they can. on the positive, her body is made to grow and heal at that age. That is the default function.

hang in there, dude!

dragonstaff       11-18-2006, 12:11 am

That very definitely sucks the big one. Hang in there, man, and know that we hope she will be ok.

KrazEEyes       11-18-2006, 03:38 am

That is a huge pile of steaming suck! I hope that you get some positive news soon. Waiting definitely is the worst part and doctor's seem to like to leave family members in suspense. I'm sure she's in good hands though. How is her grandmother holding up? Traumatized I'm sure.

hobo       11-18-2006, 07:10 am

i will say a prayer to the little baby jesus. I hope she has a full recovery.

wrecker       11-18-2006, 09:17 am

I wish you and your family the best during this time of trouble.

vasudeva       11-18-2006, 09:31 am

Wrecker shops Hallmark.

Sorry dude. This sucks. Update when possible.

ragoo       11-18-2006, 02:12 pm

She's in the pediatric ICU in critical but stable condition. They're keeping her body cool to help reduce the swelling. The doctors discovered overnight that she's bleeding internally, but not in her head. At last report they couldn't pinpoint the exact location. There are still many unknowns, but the doctor said given the circumstances he's happy with her overall condition.

ghostrider       11-18-2006, 03:09 pm

with you, man

wolfer       11-18-2006, 03:33 pm

What can you say here really...

Hope she will be ok man.

That sucks.

qwerty       11-18-2006, 06:05 pm

kill the driver

casmhar       11-19-2006, 03:10 pm

Man, sorry dude. I have kids of my own and I can feel your pain. My prayers are with you.

JohnLenin       11-19-2006, 04:52 pm

srry dude. She'll bounce back though, kids always seem to. Just for shits though, after this whole ordeal is over, tell her she was out for 3 years just to see how she reacts.

ragoo       11-20-2006, 12:42 am

Not good, friends.

My cousin's intercranial pressure spiked last night and she had to be rushed in to surgery. The docs removed part of her skull on the back side of her head--the part that impacted the ground. In doing so they discovered a problem that had been hidden on the CT scans. The impact apparently damaged several major blood vessels, but there was little bleeding into the brain because the fractured parts of the skull were applying pressure to the vessels. Once her skull was opened, the pressure on the vessels was released and she began to hemorrhage. She needed eight units of blood last night, but they finally got the bleeding to stop. In a way, it's a good thing that they discovered the problem as they did, because that injury was like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.

This is a very delicate time. She's still in a medically-induced coma, and most of today passed without incident. Her doctors were planning to "tweak" her medication tonight to test whether they could raise her out of the sedation. They still don't know how bad the injuries are, but it's clear that her brain stem is damaged. That part of the brain controls our autonomic functions, such as respiration, heart rate, and consciousness. I know the doctors have to be cautious and hedge their bets, but I think they're beginning to prepare my cousins for the worst-case scenarios. Today for the first time, they used the term "brain dead" as a possible outcome. Only time will tell if she is able to breathe on her own or regain consciousness. There is a long, long way to go.

By the way, I apologize if this journal seems rather morbid. I don't intend it to be. I don't relish writing about such gruesome things, especially when I'm writing about someone I love. It's just that so much has happened in the past couple of days, I find writing this down helps me synthesize all of what's happened into some orderly form. It helps me focus, and will perhaps help me to be strong for those family members who will need strength in the near future.

Thanks for all of your support.

LORDKAHUNA       11-20-2006, 10:40 am

Dude, I hope she pulls through.

breezysummerday       11-21-2006, 03:35 am

goddamn....I truely hope baby girl fully recovers...

wolfer       11-21-2006, 06:01 pm

Hey dude, what going on? Any news on your Cousin?

ragoo       11-22-2006, 09:49 pm

News yes, but alas, it's mostly not good.

Some tests have shown that one side of her brain stem is communicating with the upper brain. The other side is not communicating well, if at all. She has suffered major brain damage (I'm sure you guessed that already), and she is not breathing spontaneously. What's more, it seems that her impaired brain function is causing her heart to fail. She could go into cardiac arrest at any time.

I saw her today for the first time since the accident. She looked better than I had expected--peaceful, her beauty unchanged despite all of the tubes and electrodes coming out of her. I talked to her for about 10 minutes, and then the nurses came in to do some more tests. So I said something about going home to take her dog, Pal, for a walk. And then I left her.

My cousins are facing a grim truth. She's suffered serious damage to the part of the brain that controls everything we don't think about in our daily conscious lives--breathing, heartbeat, reflexes, etc. She may never wake up, or her heart may quit before she does. I can't imagine a crueler choice to be faced with: if her heart arrests, should they resuscitate her--knowing that she still will probably never regain consciousness? It's a nightmare scenario, and it frustrates and infuriates me that there is nothing I can do to help ease their pain.

I held my kids extra long and extra tight tonight. It's all I can do.

freakbass       11-22-2006, 11:29 pm

so sorry to hear that the news has not been good. she is in our thoughts and prayers.

please write whenever you are needing to. this is about your healing also and writing can help a lot with such things.

hang in there. anything is possible. children are exceptionally strong.

dragonstaff       11-22-2006, 11:54 pm

^ Ditto man.

KrazEEyes       11-23-2006, 07:08 pm

My gosh...you are bringing me to tears shai-hulud! But we appreciate you opening up to us like this, no matter how gruesome the details are. This is definitely leaning towards worse-case scenario. I hope that your family is at least growing closer while supporting eachother through this.

ghostrider       11-23-2006, 08:46 pm

There but by the grace of God..

I hate those words, but how true they are. Tragedy is accommodatable, except when it involves children.

I know how it is.

Good thoughts/energy/karma/prayer and whatever other forms are available to her.

ragoo       11-23-2006, 10:01 pm

Thanks again, everyone. Your thoughts and prayers mean a lot. Really.

Some better news today for a change. Her intercranial pressure has gone down, and they were able to remove the shunt that had been draining fluid from her skull. The docs are feeling better about the condition of her heart too, so much so that they took her off the two heart medications they had been giving her. Perhaps the best news is that her pupils began reacting to light again today, which is a big milestone to reach.

I know there are still many highs and lows to come, but we'll take every bit of good news we can get.

JohnLenin       11-23-2006, 11:47 pm

That's great news. My thoughts are with you and your family.

ragoo       11-26-2006, 09:40 pm

Guarded optimism. That's the phrase for today. I'm trying to contain my emotions, because I know how easily fortunes can turn in situations like these. But we had good news today, no doubt about it. Sarah coughed tonight. It sounds like a trivial thing, but the cough reflex was one of the key milestones the docs had said would be coming up. If she could cough, they said, her body would be preparing to clear out her lungs in anticipation of the next major milestone--taking her first spontaneous breath.

Which she took. And then took again. She's still on the respirator, because the docs want it, but she's breathing over it, on her own. That most primitive part of her brain is still commanding her body to do its work. She can breathe on her own.

A couple of days ago, my nine year-old daughter asked me if Sarah was going to die. "Maybe," I said. That was a tough answer. She asked me again tonight and I was happily able to say "I don't think so."

There are many unanswered questions, and I know we're bound to have setbacks in the future. But we're taking this news for what it is: good news at a most welcome time.

dragonstaff       11-27-2006, 01:04 am

Still keeping everything crossed for you and her, man. Hang in there, but this is good progress.

ragoo       12-04-2006, 11:46 pm

Sarah remains stable. She shows reflexive movement, but is not yet answering commands such as "squeeze my fingers" or "open your eyes." Maybe with time...

She's scheduled for surgery on Wednesday, to perform a tracheotomy so the docs can remove the breathing tube from her mouth. They need to wire her jaw, which was broken in the accident, and they obviously can't do that with the tube there.

I find it hard to hope for a happy ending to this. The brain stem is the oldest part of the brain, and not very good at healing itself. But she's young and tenacious. That may be enough to overcome the damage. I don't know.

Alas, all this trauma proved too much for my 83 year-old aunt--Sarah's grandmother--who saw the accident with her own eyes. On Saturday she suffered a hemorrhagic stroke that left her paralyzed on the left side, but conscious and able to speak. On Sunday morning she had another, much more massive one that completely obliterated her. She fought, but finally succumbed last night around 7 p.m. She was surrounded by her children and grandchildren, her only sister--my mother--and our family.

My aunt was a heroic woman, who raised six children singlehandedly after her husband died 34 years ago. We owe so much to her example. She was a woman of great faith, humility and wisdom, and I've found myself over the years repeating to my kids words of advice that she had spoken to me as a youngster.

Our family ties are strong, thank goodness, because otherwise I don't know what would fill the huge void in our world right now.

wolfer       12-04-2006, 11:57 pm

Dude, sorry to hear about your aunt man. At 88 though she did live a full life. She is in a better place now. As for your cousin, miracles happen...she has held on this long, she seems to be a little fighter. Hopefully it will come out good.

Kasmos       12-05-2006, 12:00 am

I wish you the best man with everything, and hope all turns out well. I may talk a lot of shit on here but when it comes down to it that sort of shit just shouldn't happen.

dragonstaff       12-05-2006, 12:48 am

Man, sorry about your Aunt. It sounds like you and your family are doing a real good job of supporting each other and your cousins through this though. Hang in there, man. The upswing can't be far away.

KrazEEyes       12-06-2006, 07:46 am

Aw man!! I think you need to change this journal entry title to:
"This MONTH was a Steaming Pile of Shit!"
I'm so sorry for all that you're family is going through, but I'm glad to hear you all are remaining close. We appreciate you taking the time to keep us updated. Let us know how the surgery goes today. I guess it's more a concern of how she'll handle having her jaw wired shut, that will be another discomfort! I hope that she will start to become more responsive so that every one can feel a bit more optimistic.
When is the funeral for your Aunt? I'm sure there will be a large number of people attending, it sounds like she was an amazing, well respected woman!

BTW, what is your cousin's name?

ragoo       12-06-2006, 08:49 am

My little cousin's name is Sarah, and I'm sure she'll pull through these operations like a trooper. They still have her on a ventilator because when they sedate her for procedures like this, her respiration gets really low and it takes awhile for her to get back to where she was.

Aunt Mary's funeral is Friday, after which she'll be buried alongside her late husband.

Thank you all for your continued support.

Clavis_Apocalypticae       12-09-2006, 09:38 am

This just sucks ass, SH. I've put off replying to your journal for a long time, mostly because I wanted to resist the urge to sprinkle my reply with aphorisms and bromides meant to soothe, but always managing to ring hollow and flat.

In times of suffering, such as this, take comfort in the things that bring you joy. Your kids. Your wief. That first cup of coffee in the morning as the sun banishes, at least temporarily, the darkness from your world. The fact that a loosely connected bunch of crass, jaded fukers are reading your words, feeling your pain, and hurting for you and your family.

Be strong for the fam, my friend. And know that you can always come here to vent when it all feels like too much.

casmhar       12-14-2006, 11:45 pm

Go mbeannaí Dia is Muire duit
Rath Dé ort!

I lost my brother and may you never realize the pain.
I pray for her and your family. No one deserves that, especially the young.

freakbass       12-15-2006, 08:42 pm

>what Clavis said.

:(

Sending Light to You and your Family.

ragoo       11-18-2007, 10:57 pm

Well, it's been a year and a day since that awful November afternoon. I apologize for the really, really long pause between updates, but a great deal has happened. Last year around this time, there was very little hope that my cousin would live. But what a year it's been! And I'm here to tell you, friends--and damn glad to do it--that this story has a happy ending after all.

Against all odds, and despite deep and brutal injuries, Sarah not only has regained consciousness, but she is completely sound neurologically. She has fully retained of all her mental faculties, reasoning, emotions and memories (except, thankfully, for the time period of the accident itself). She is able to walk, talk and carry on much as any other girl her age would.

After several weeks and multiple operations at Geisinger Hospital in Danville, she was transferred to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia for rehabilitation. Once she regained consciousness, it quickly became clear that she wasn't going to sit idle. She fought for her recovery, and won it for herself over weeks and months of painful therapy and even more surgeries. She made such a startling recovery while at CHOP that she was actually able to do schoolwork from her hospital room. So by the time May came around, not only was she able to come home from the hospital, but she was able to graduate with her eighth grade class too.

She continued her outpatient rehab through the summer, and is now a high school freshman. Yesterday she proudly told me that she had earned high honors on her report card. What an amazing kid!

Now to be honest, she hasn't regained 100% of her motor skills, and her speech still needs some work. But she is far, far better than she was even a couple of months ago. And let's be honest--the fact that she's alive at all is pretty miraculous. Her therapy will continue, and if history is any guide, she'll continue to make great progress.

So there we are. I didn't expect things to turn out this way, but that little bugger proved me wrong. She is the toughest, most resilient kid I have ever known. She got the finest medical care available and used every advantage it gave her.

Thanks to everyone for the support you've sent our way. Sorry for the rambling post, but it's been a hell of a year. Happily, Sarah's still got her whole life in front of her.

uart       11-19-2007, 01:19 am

Congrats

dragonstaff       11-19-2007, 01:49 am

Ragoo, you are a bastard. It is not nice to make grown men cry.

I am a father, so hurt kids upset me ( it's too easy to put mine in their place ) and I am so pleased that your cousin is doing so well.The long pause between updates can probably be forgiven.

Dumbskull       11-19-2007, 04:19 am

I missed this jounal last year. I am glad to hear she is making a full recovery today.

coolhand77       11-19-2007, 08:35 am

Great news man. As a father myself, I always hate to hear about something bad happening to a kid. I'm glad this story turned out the way it has.

ragoo       06-01-2008, 03:47 pm

Sarah's still making great strides in her recovery. If you met her and you didn't know the back story, you'd probably never guess that she'd been within a hair's breadth of death. You can actually read about everything she went through (in addition to what I said above) by clicking here. And yes, that's a picture of my beautiful, amazing cousin there on the page.

Today a whole bunch of family and friends went down to Geisinger Children's Hospital in Danville to work the phones for the annual telethon. Sarah is one of the "Miracle Kids" for this year. They were at just about $1.5 million in pledges when we left. It's a great cause, because I can tell you from witnessing it first hand, Geisinger does some crazy amazing work.

Hey, maybe you want to do something to help out too. Well get thyself over here and make a secure donation. Like I said, it's time and money well spent, and I have no qualms about shilling for the people who saved my cousin's life.