So I have this crazy bitch of an ex-wife. Part of the divorce settlement is that I have to provide health insurance for my daughter and reimburse her mother for 50% of the uninsured medical costs. The standard rule for handling this is 1) Ex sends me receipts for the uninsured stuff then 2) I send her money within 30 days of receiving the receipts.

Simple huh?

Anyway, I have not received receipts for more than a year and a half. I ask every couple of weeks and am assured that I will receive them by the end of the week. Then when they don't show up, I ask again a few weeks later.

Well, in an effort to avoid getting slammed with 18 months worth of receipts at one time, I have taken the initiative to obtain (or at least try to obtain) the receipts myself. These efforts have gone up her ass sideways as the following email exchange will prove.

I wish to enter the following as Exhibit A.

I sent this email first thing this morning.
I have received the receipt from the Orthodontist that I requested and also have a statement from the Delta Plan that details the pre-estimated payments that will be made by this insurance policy. Reimbursement checks have been mailed to you for the Orthodontist’s Bill and your insurance plan for Stef for the month of August. To date I still have not received ANY receipts from you since April 2005 with the exception of the 2005 Nancy Black Bill so I will continue to pay the CVS bill as mentioned last month, until the balance is paid in full. Periodically as I am able I will stop by and pick up an up to date bill and with reimburse you accordingly. I will again request a bill from Nancy Black for Jan-October of this year and if I receive one I will make payments on this as well. Any other bills (or this one if you prevent me from receiving it) you will need to send directly to me for reimbursement.

So in a nutshell, I just told her that I got some of the receipts and will be sending her money. Everything's cool right?

WRONG!!!

This afternoon I was presented with this full on stare into the madness and insanity that is this bitches mind. I welcome you to join me in the wonder.

I really think you are doing this to get a reaction from me and to be honest you just about succeeded, but I will attempt to explain this to you calmly one last time. I really just need you to pay me the $200 that you owe me for the month of August for insurance reimbursement. That comes out of my paycheck weekly and directly impacts my financial situation. The money for the receipts will go directly into Stefanie's bank account with a few exceptions (such as the down payment for the Orthodontist.) Therefore, while I understand the need to get these receipts to you in a timely fashion, it's really not my priority. My priorities are quite simple, so you will just have to accept that instead of insisting on looking for ways to stir up trouble which is exactly what you are doing. Caring for Stefanie and seeing to her needs is a full time job, but I also have a full time job and I have my own health issues to deal with. The way I look at it, I have pretty much cut off ways for you to create havoc in my life. This petty attempt over receipts and bills is really all you have left. (Although frequently losing your job and being without child support is fun too.) Do you really have nothing better to do with your time??

I have yet to file my taxes for 2005, I have been working on getting together all the receipts so that I can turn the information over to my accountant and make the appropriate copies for you as soon as possible. (Hmmm...she hasn't filed my taxes for 2005 yet and she's due a big refund...is it possible that she really is telling the truth? Maybe she's has just been busy with Stefanie and her issues and dealing with her own health issues.) Yes, I got behind with the whole receipt thing when I started taking classes, but until then I had been doing them in a timely manner. I also have almost all of the 2006 receipts together so that I can forward them to you, but I am just missing some from both years here and there. I thought I had the 2005 statement from the company that does the billing for Family Medi-Center, but I haven't been able to locate them. Therefore I called them two weeks plus ago to request the information, but I haven't received it. I called again on Monday and just now. As soon as I get this information, I can make the copies to send to you so that you can stop trying to annoy me and annoying everyone else that you feel the need to create extra work for. It is almost all done, I just need to get the last few in and find the time to get them copied and in order to send them to you.

All you continue to do is cause extra work for the people that you continue to bother. I wish that you would put yourself in my shoes or their shoes and just understand how foolish you are being. In the long run the calls you've made or the stops you've made, all the work you've put into trying to get these receipts is all for nothing because you'll be getting them all from me anyway. The more you bug me about it and the more I have to explain this to you, the less inclined I am to spend time on getting them together. Again, you are just confusing the issue by creating more of an uproar over such a petty matter. This really is just your only way to get at me now...just goes to show that you haven't changed one bit...you are still a very small man. How pathetic! Is it really worth it??

By the way, when I get all of my insurance reimbursement for the month of August then you will see all of the receipts. Also, now that you have your receipt for Dr. Hurst, I expect the $600 in 30 days. Don't call anyone else to request any other receipts or even mention them to me again. You'll get your receipts when you pay me the money you owe me.

I have a ton of her manifestos like the example above.

Her response made me LOL so I thought I would share with you fine people. And Qwerty.