|
| |
Site members can create their own journals and post comments. | It's so fucking obvious 09-22-2006 at 06:22 am
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee,
And a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the
cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued
by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at
her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct, but how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly.".
I got this from a friend this morning and I really did LOL and I almost ROFL'd. It's definately CCBB.
|
Posted Comments Registered site members may leave comments.
hobo 09-22-2006, 06:53 am
/me slaps his knee and chuckles
|
ghostrider 09-22-2006, 05:48 pm
meatbrawl sandwiches
|
Acidburn 09-22-2006, 06:30 pm
This deserves an LOLpop
|
uart 09-23-2006, 12:50 am
I GET IT. SHE WAS UGLY. LOL.
|
wolfer 09-23-2006, 01:55 am
Its funny as hell but old as shit, I heard this several years ago, where the fuck have you guys been
|
Tagnut 09-23-2006, 03:48 am
There's this man walking down the street when a cute little girl comes up to him and asks him if he could help her find her missing dog.
"sure i will" says the man "my name's george, what's yours ?"
"oh, my name is honey. because when i was born my mummy thought i was the sweetest thing in the whole world."
as they set off down the street they continued to chat.
"so what's your mother called ?" asked george
"well her real name is karen but my dad calls her angel. because when they first met he thought she had come down from heaven."
george smiled at the cute little girl and continued the search for the missing dog.
"what's your dogs name, by the way ?" asked george, expecting another sugary name to be offered.
"porky" replied honey
"porky ? why's he called that ?" asked george
the girl turned to him and said "because he fucks pigs"
|
dagwood 09-23-2006, 09:30 am
A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks "How will I recognize him?" "That's easy. He's a midget with a speech impediment".
So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth."
He shows him a prized filly. "Nith looking horth. Can I thee her eyeth?" So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. "Nith eyeth, can I thee her earthz?"
He picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears. "Nith earthz, can I thee her mouf?" The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nice mouf, can I thee her twat?" Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground. The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.
"Perhapth I thould rephrathe that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?
One more I've always liked-
A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike, " the cop said "did Santa bring it to you? " "Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did! " The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it. " The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you? " "Yes, he sure did, " chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."!!!!!
And finally one that I'm too often reminded of-
A couple go on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota.
The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides
to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and
continues to read her book.
Along comes a law enforcement officer in his boat. He pulls up
alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "isn't it obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading.
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the officer.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment."
The Officer says, "Have a nice day."
Moral of the story: Don't mess with a woman who reads.
She may also be able to think.
|
ghostrider 09-29-2006, 10:06 am
What do you call a guy with both hands up a cow's ass ?
An Amish mechanic (drum roll,cymbal crash)
|
| |
| Sexual Asspussy | This is awesome.
This is the first pornsite I've found in years that I'd actually advertise to swarmers. When you first load it up, it looks just like every crappy scam site out there, except that it's real. It's huge, it's updated constantly, there's no spam, no popups, and no bullshit -- and it's completely free. When you sign up through that link above and respond to the confirmation email, I make a bit of loose change.
See what other swarmers have to say about it. People love this place, so I feel fine about sending you there and am confident you will enjoy boners.
|
|
| My God, It's Full of Azron |
|
|
|
