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Site members can create their own journals and post comments. | Passover? 04-13-2006 at 07:50 am
Somebody informed me that Passover has started. Is this some ancient hebrew secret holiday? Anyway, if it is happy passover unless its some kind of "I'm Jewish and I must be miserable and feel guilty for a few days " holiday in which case be miserable.
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ghostrider 04-13-2006, 07:57 am
It's one of the most important wife-swapping holidays of the jewish culture.
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wrecker 04-13-2006, 08:43 am
Passover celebrates the curse that God inflicted on the Egyptians who were enslaving the the Jews. God told the Jews to paint their doors with lamb's blood and to not leave their houses. Then that night the Angel of Death came around, and every door that wasn't painted with blood got visited and the Angel killed that families first born.
The houses that were painted were "passed over". It was after this that Pharoh released the Jews because his own son had been killed.
Then came the Red Sea crossing story, blah, blah, blah.
I know I'll be accused of being a Jew now, and threatened with the ovens, but I assure you that I'm not. I just grew up in the Bible Belt and had to go to church no less than three days a week so some of it apparently sunk in.
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ghostrider 04-13-2006, 08:46 am
That's a fairly accurate description for a goy, but you left out the wife-swapping part.
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wrecker 04-13-2006, 08:47 am
You had already covered that. I was just filling in the blanks.
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Lownotes 04-13-2006, 10:00 am
You have to love an omnipotent deity who kills innocent children just to make a point.
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vladtweano 04-13-2006, 10:13 am
All it means to me is that it's almost time for ZOMBIE JESUS! Yaaaay! He is risen! Why is the messiah gnawing on my brain?
I don't observe the wife-swapping bit, but we do kill a hobo every year. The family gets together, it's nice. You know.
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hobo 04-13-2006, 10:23 am
Note to Hobo Nation: RUN!
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jwalker 04-13-2006, 02:22 pm
A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park.
He sat down on a bench and began eating. Since Jews do not eat
leavened bread during the eight day holiday, he was eating Matzoh,
a flat crunchy unleavened bread that has dozens of perforations.
A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him.
Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the
blind man.
The blind man handled the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled,
and finally exclaimed, "Who wrote this crap?"
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Qwerty 04-13-2006, 11:08 pm
Funny how jesus holidays are the best paying times of the year. Thankgod I'm not religious.
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dinozoa 04-14-2006, 12:08 am
I like how everybody crapped on Lent, but now passover is awesome. I'm observing Passover too, kind of. At least I'm eating the hell out of matzah.
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wrecker 04-14-2006, 08:05 am
Passover is awesome because you get to kill a lamb, paint with blood and swap wives.
How could you NOT like that???
Lent is nothing more than self imposed punishment/guilt for being a normal human being.
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MOMAD 04-14-2006, 09:41 am
http://www.linkswarm.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Journal&file=display&op=1414
That's passover, bobo. It should explain why I'm not answering the invite this year.
(I was too lazy to make it a link)
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