As a small part of the never tiring Linkswarm Entertainment Machine, I have been tasked to expand our current business unit in a new direction.

You see, we need to productize our feature set, ASAP!
Our capability to deploy intuitively leads to the capacity to expedite macro-intuitively. Imagine a combination of multimedia and sass that jacks right into the fucking soul of the internet, that there is where we need to be before the rest of the interweb passes us by people!

At Linkswarm.com, we are the triage nurse that decides which internet fad gets a shot of adrenaline and a set of paddles. At Linkswarm.com, we think we know how to envisioneer perfectly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-tailers but our power to transition. We constantly grow affiliate-based versioning.

We understand how to enhance virally. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for regulating emerging social networks? Well we do motherfucker. We will apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to evolve. We will FUCKING CONQUER ALL!

So without further ado, it is my pleasure to be the first to introduce you to:

THE LINKSWARM.COM ORCHESTRA!

Don't let his steely gaze fool you; Raimondas is your one stop accordion party messiah.

Raimondas Sviackevicius was born in 1975 in the capital of Lithuania, Vilnius. Following in the footsteps of his father (Prof. Ricardas "Swayfoot" Sviackevicius ), he bound his life with music and his insatiable appetite for chocolate flavored laxatives. His earliest memories are of moist screaming places and the accordion music that saved his sanity.



Lets hear it for Bill Douglas, bassoonist extraordinaire.

Bill describes his career:
"The Bassoon has been my only friend, we were made for each other, can you spare some change?"

No orchestra is complete without a bassist, and "Tufty" Hatfield is the man for the job.

Tufty shatters all stereotypes, and is just as comfortable slinging his bow as he is tarring driveways.

Andrew Peaceman thinks the oboe is just super.


Vlaviuous adds his 600 years worth of preternatural experience to our clarinet section.

"This dude plays the clarinet like a motherfucker" --Lestat

Rory sexes up the harpsichord like nobody's business.


Thomas Bacon, is serving out the rest of his work release program with us.

(Please be mindful of our delicate legal situation and ensure your children stay at least 300 yards away from our concert venues)

We let Skeeter play with us cause he's got awesome dank .


That is all, thank you for your time.