So. The Boston Beer Party 5.1, which doesn't always happen in Boston and isn't always annual.

Attendees: Me, the LBP, Gothmog, Kahuna, LOki, Marf, Goatse, Magicchex, Lutefisk (technically), and mundhra, plus random assorted Boston residents who moved in and out of our lives like carpetbaggers. Macrus was supposed to show up but didn't. Ditto for Crackalackin. Fags.

Everyone was coming in at different times throughout the weekend; a few people were only there for Saturday night. We had $150 generously thrust at us by way of the BBP Drinking Fund, thanks to some of you guys.

What follows is a patchy photojournal of what I managed to capture on film. I'm sure I've already forgotten about 230% of all the cool stuff. Feel free to remind me and I'll edit. This is broken up into two parts so your browser don't crash; also keep in mind I have a gallery of this with 300 pictures in it and no text.

Also keep in mind I need to remember to get out from behind the camera and put it in someone else's hands, cause I can't take a decent shot to save my stupid life.

If you want them big, you can click them.








Shit started off fairly quick, unlike last time when fags wanted to sleep and whatnot.

We got into Boston and seconds later Kahuna popped out of his cab. We checked into the hotel, which was located pleasingly near several bars. The first was Coyote Ugly, where Kahuna's Canuck-radar immediately located a fellow Canadian; a newfie named Blair. We had a beer with him and he ran off to get pictures of his naked girlfriend to show us. Seriously. This was on his camera. It's him doing the wrong thing with pants. He promised to show up here at some point and post some shit to the Journals. He also promised to email me this photo but I didn't want to take any chances.








LBP, Kahuna, Gothmog, and Blair play one of those naked-bitches video bargame things.








We've found Mundhra in the streets and moved on to Sullivan's, this awfully-lit place that felt like a skee-ball arcade with booze, only in a bad way. I told the bartender we wanted shots of the worst vodka he had and he really didn't believe me. (It was pretty bad.) Mundhra is looking trim since I saw him last and he's sporting a new beard and can handle the booze.








HUZZAH.








Then we moved on to Boston Beer Works, where they served food, but weren't able to count to two dozen, at least when wings were involved. Blair had met up with some friends while we went to collect Mundhra, and they went somewhere else. We were supposed to meet back up with them but I don't remember doing so.








Look at these assholes.








I'm not sure what's going on here.








I'm sure what's going on here but I know I shouldn't say.








LILBABYASSPANTS GETS MOLESTED ONCE AGAINE.









Making Kahuna pretty. I should mention we're in the Hong Kong now -- the slightly shittier of the two, in Quincy Market.









And Gothmog's still the ugly one.








The middle finger rides again. Good for cancelling out eyes.








Kahuna's always this excited when my middle finger comes out.








And he likes to do the Walrus.








Which I of course like to fuk up for him.








I know this looks like the LBP is shooting foamy vomit out her nose, but what's really happening is we're sucking down scorpion bowls and she's getting brain freeze while wearing a colorful David Bowie shirt.








Scorpion bowl action shot.








Perspective shot of Kahuna with what appears to be gigantic novelty cigarette.








LilBabyPissmouth invites you to fuk off.








The LBP erupts from Kahuna's chest like in Alien, ready to rock out on Planet Earth and plant baby aliens in your thorax.








Mundhra getting ready to vomit. Just kidding. He's getting fucked in the ass.








WHUT?









BELLIGERENT.








SHUT DOWN THE MOG.








Random ho titties. This is as good a time as any to mention that this BBP had a very strong cleavage theme.








!!!








jawa/Grue mog.








LBP does karaoke with a potato-headed faggot. This guy was a real hoot because he thought he could surreptitiously cop a feel when dancing with the LBP, but to seasoned cocksmen such as Kahuna and myself, it was completely transparent he was stealing the skin.








These two dudes were up to something wierd. We spotted them on the way back to the hotel through the window of a bar. It looked like two real macho guys who have finally admitted their latent feelings of romantic love for each other; right before I snapped this they were like touching each other's faces or something, but in like this surreptitious tough-guy way. Very odd.








Then we saw a dead rat.








It was a real crowd-pleaser.








Fagging out in the hotel. Mundhra's taking a dump on his own bed. Idiot.








PASSING OUT NOW.








Out the door to kick the ass of the complaining neighbors. Actually, there wasn't a single complaint from anybody at any time. I was impressed.

The next day we hit Boston Commons and screwed around for a bit. Then I lost my fuking camera. It's one of these tiny little bastards so naturally I'm always worried about losing it any time I don't have it right in my hand. As luck would have it, I was cleaning the lens, put it back in the case, and sat it down on the park bench beside me. After a while, we got up, walked about half a mile, and saw a statue we wanted a picture next to. Then I realized I never picked the fuking thing back up. Boston Commons is pretty crowded, even on a Friday afternoon.

I had zero hope of reclaiming the camera. That wasn't even the part that was bugging me. It was a gift anyway and one I could replace with an application of X hundred dollars. But every picture you've seen before now would have been lost, and I could never have proved that I saw a dead rat in Boston or cancelled out Gothmog's eye with my finger.

We hit the park bench where we had been sitting; no one had seen anything. I asked a cop if anyone had turned anything in and he directed me to the park rangers' hut. We walked over to it and asked if anyone had turned in a camera, and the guy asked me to describe it with kind of a smirk. I had hope. I got halfway through describing it and he goes "with a picture of a dead rat in it?" Inside I was highfiving everyone ever. I guess two little old ladies had seen the camera and turned it in.

I still can't believe that happened.








Kahuna had the good idea of taking the park ranger's pictures. They were both from Syracuse, as it turns out. They said in the four years they had worked there, they had never seen anything happen like my unbelieveable camera recovery.








And here is the aforementioned statue. I dunno. Some old guy.









The genesis of Kahuna's trend of licking the feet of statues.








Cool little fountain statue thing of a lion reaching up to snatch a eagle out of the sky.

We had hoped by communing with duckies we could send Cube a telepathic message to join us ASAP.

It was a stupid thing to think.









A very natural mundhra pose. We're on the roof of the Rattlesnake Club which was pretty cool until it got all yuppied out later on in the day.








I look bored or angry in every picture I take. This one is a perfect synthesis of both. Enjoy, faggets.








Goth/LBP/Kahuna.








Goth/Kahuna.








mundhra/mog.








mundhar.








What? Naughty girls need love too.








Thuggin.








Kahuna sneering, thus permanently ensuring a legacy of Elvis references.








Cleavage shot.









A better cleavage shot. (I've had my cock up in here.)








Someone thought that this picture would make for a funny visual joke, and they were right, but not on my watch.








LBP shouted that we must take pictures of this tree for Kahuna's wife, who performed the incredibly cool act of letting him come out to the BBP one day after his first child was born, and I don't know what the tree is supposed to do for anyone but here it is.









Kahuna and the LBP got interviewed by some camera crew about the Internet. Kahuna's views: "I do not trust the Internet." Hopefully it fuks up something that if we were any more mature we'd regret fuking up.








Me and three Gays of Lunacy.









Good news, everyone! This statue has a pussy.








Bad news, nobody! Kahuna licks feet.

IT'S NOT OVER BY A LONG SHOT. CLICK HERE FOR PART II, WHERE WE ENCOUNTER AN ASSLOAD OF COSPLAYER FARTHATS.