I don't buy for one second that it's a "big sister" to any girl.

Subject: "HEY this is someone u dont know"

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 4:57pm (1½ hours ago)
hey this is sharleens big sister....how old ru ?
and y r u talkin to her?
she is only 12 and i dont know who the freak u r so write me back so i can kow what tha hell shes doin on this thing..ok?
~*valorie ~*

(didnt mean to say in a rude way)

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 5:17pm (1 hour ago)
#1: Who the fuck are you.
#2: I don't know any "Sharleen", nor have I talked online or in real
life with a "Sharleen".
#3: Learn to fucking spell/type.
#4: Aren't these number things annoying?
#5: Send me naked pictures of yourself, unless you're fat, in which
case you can fuck right off and never email me again, fatty.

New conversation. Subject: "hey: reply to our fucken rude ass email:"

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 5:58pm (41 minutes ago)
Hey i really dont appreciate u fucken emailing me telling me to fuck off.
First off all u emailed me.. and by the way im 15.
Your a fucken lame ass pervert who needs to fuck off.
I jus went to my mail and u were on there.
And my saw that my sis was tlakin to u and i dont want her talkin to a bitch ass perverted fucker like you.... so fuck off!..and im not fat!

~*valorie ~*

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 6:00pm (41 minutes ago)
by the way i didnt spell anything wrong on my last last email1
Stupid ass.

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 6:18pm (25 minutes ago)
All right look, I'm sorry. I've been having a bad week, I thought this
was a joke, or some spam email, and I lashed out. Sorry.

But I REALLY, really am having a hard time with this. I do not know
you or your sister who you claim that I've been talking to. I think
you've gotten me mixed up with someone else, or one of my asshole
friends gave you my email and told you this shit about me being a
pervert. Maybe you could explain first how you got my email address,
and we'll try and work this out.

Uh-huh...

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 6:23pm (30 minutes ago)
okay im sorry i was jus gettin really mad b/c i thought my sis was talkin to a nasty ass pervert! but thats cool..u seem like a really nice guy so im gonna give u my aim: patricksaisman (dont ask) lol
and my yahoo: morbidrian25
so if u eva wanna tlak then ur free to....and if u have myspace then check me out...
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/19756185

C YA!!!!

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 6:28pm (26 minutes ago)
No, I'm sorry, I have no reason to talk to you on AIM or any other
chat program. I find it rather odd that you would accuse me of
something and then try and be all friendly. I do not know you or you(sic)
sister and have no idea how you got my email address. Please do not
email me again.

Uh, no...

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 6:32pm (23 minutes ago)
ok jus tryin to be nice....but whatevr..
ok i thought u knew my sis or sumthin but i guess not.
I didnt want to talk to u anyways!
j/k anyways well i wont email u but jus remember one thing..u emailed me first!

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 6:34pm (22 minutes ago)
No, I did not email you first. If I am mistaken about this, please
provide me with a copy of the "first" email I sent to you.

Oh RIGHT...

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 6:35pm (21 minutes ago)
ok....well i deleted it but i saw what my sis emailed u..sayin that u were cute or whatevr...i dunno....this is weird but whatevr sorry to fucken bother u!

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 6:40pm (18 minutes ago)
I am sorry as well. Sorry that you are a homosexual man trolling email
addresses with a lame, unbelievable story about "your sister" so that
you can trick them into chatting with you on AIM and showing them your
well-used asshole. I have contacted my good friend, Lucifer, and asked
him to ensure that you never make such a stupid mistake again.

And now? This right here? This is money. About 100 LOL dollars, to be exact.

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 6:43pm (15 minutes ago)
FUCK U PERVERTED FUCKEN LOSER IF U THINK THAT UR FUCKEN FUNNY UR NOT!!!!!!! STUPID ASS POSER...GAWD U DONT HAVE TO LASH OUT JUS B/C UR HAVN A BAD DAY...SO STOP FUCKEN EMAILIN ME AND SHUT THAT HELL UP!.........GAWD UR JUS A BUNCH OF FUCKED UP LOSERS WHO SUCK EACH OTHERS ASS ALL DAY AND DONT DO A DAM THING...LEAVE ME ALONE U FUCKEN POSERS!

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 6:44pm (17 minutes ago)
AND BY THA FUCKEN WAY IM A GIRL...15 AND I DONT WANNA HEAR FROM U EVR AGAIN!

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 6:47pm (6 minutes ago)
...

So, stop fucking emailing me, you homosexual fagg0t. I did enjoy your
screaming rebuttal to my accusation. It showed that I'm right. As the
kids say, "pwnt."

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 6:46pm (19 minutes ago)
IS UR NAME IRAN?..OR WHATEVR?

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 6:49pm (16 minutes ago)
My name, my dear friend, is SexNinjaMcDeath, Esquire. I come from a
long line of Teenage Mutant Ninja SomethingAwful readers

New conversation. Subject: "ooooo u f****"

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 6:50pm (16 minutes ago)
u think that ur so fucken cool jus b/c ur sayin those big ass words but i dont wanna tlak tou so stop emailing me back!....how am i a homosexual faggot if first of all im a gurl and second.....i have a boyfriend..looks like ur the fag..u sick fuck!

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 6:53pm (14 minutes ago)
You're right, you do have a boyfriend. That bitch owes me money,
honey. Tell him to call me or I'll send my main man ghostrideryyz over
to rip his asshole out by the roots as punishment for his insolence.

New conversation. Subject: "hey"

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 6:58pm (12 minutes ago)
ok ur gay...ur so immature so stop emailing me back cuz ur jus makin a fool lout of ur self!!!!

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 7:05pm (5 minutes ago)
I'll stop emailing you back IF I stop getting these stupid,
"AOL-speak" emails that I can barely make sense of. The opportunity to
cease and desist, much like your sad, stupid HIV infected penis, is IN
YOUR HANDS. Will you take it?

New conversation. Subject: "ur so GAY"

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 7:08pm (5 minutes ago)
WTF is wrong with u?
Your like ..i dunno freakn weird and stupid...i dont have a penis and stop being so fucken selfish...think of others more than ur stupid lame ass self...and how fucken old r u?
I dont know u think ur but dont talk like that to me..UR A FUCKEN FAG!

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 7:13pm (0 minutes ago)
How about YOU don't talk to ME like that, missy. Respect your elders;
don't kink their hoses, whore. And I don't see you stopping emailing
me yet.

New conversation. (Isn't it funny how it never wants to talk to me again, yet can't stop doing so?) Subject: "so"

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 7:15pm (2 minutes ago)
How about we dont ever talk to each other AGAIN! U fucken old ass cock suckin blow head!

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 7:17pm (0 minutes ago)
Again, let me help you undstand the concept of NOT EVER EMAILING ME AGAIN.

#1: You read this email and decide to abide by my wonderful advice.
#2: You step back from the computer and stop. emailing. me.

It's really that simple.

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 7:18pm (1 minute ago)
Fuck off cock sucker!

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 7:21pm (0 minutes ago)
Sadly, this is not helping you in your laudable quest to not talk to me again.

Just.

Stop.

Typing.

New conversation. Subject: "...."

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 7:22pm (1 minute ago)
jUST.
stop.
emailing.
ME.
BAK!

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 7:23pm (0 minutes ago)
No! Goddamn it! You're failing, AGAIN! YOU stop emailing ME "bak".

New conversation. Subject: "ugh stop it"

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 7:24pm (2 minutes ago)
DAM DO U NOT UNDERSTAND THA WORD STOP~
DAM KID STOP EMAILING ME CUZ UR PISSIN ME OFF!

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 7:27pm (0 minutes ago)
Oh, YOU'RE pissed off? That's really too bad. I'm all peach pie and
pug dogs right now, dear, because you just can't stop. As the AOL-ers
say, "LOL".

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 7:28pm (0 minutes ago)
HAHA was that supose to be funny?
Cuz it really wasnt dont mean to be a bitch but GOD KID stop emailing me...its very annoying and ur very annoying..i might be to But JEEEZZ!!!!.....

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 7:30pm (0 minutes ago)
Again, you are failing your assigned task of not emailing me again. Sux0r.

Patricksaisman1@aol.com to me More options 7:31pm (0 minutes ago)
okay im not sorry but i wont stop emailing you......FUCK THAT IM NOT LISTENIN TO A DAM WORD U SAY!

SexNinja to Patricksaisman1 More options 7:32pm (0 minutes ago)
That's too bad. I recommend that you do listen to me.

I'm stopping this here because it's now come down to "you stop.' "No, YOU stop, fag!!1"

I had a wonderful time, though. God bless AOL and the idiots they provide internet access to.