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  • pete56
  • May11 '11
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Cat Stories, Tales of Fearsome Murderous Sociopathy

Yup, cats are some dangerous little meeps, but at least ours usually like us.
They have a penchant for killing anything smaller than themselves, and enjoy the meep out of doing it.
If you've ever owned a cat, and have seen it ritualistically murder something, share your story here.

Decider: SexNinja

sunny77

ghostrider

dragonstaff

SexNinja

My cats kill mice and birds, My dog chases bunnies, I kill deers, fish and turkeys. Ritual murder is delicious.

  • sunny77
  • May11 '11

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we have a mild mouse problem, they don't necessarily "bother" us but they are messy and i want them out of my home. frequently, at night, i'll keep the window in our bathroom opened and our siamese comes in and out as he pleases, he knows better than to meep up the house or knock anything over. i sleep pretty lightly and sometimes i'll hear a hiss and terror squeaks. it's over in a matter of minits. then he's back outside with his prize.
last night was a little different, i went in the bathroom to get ready from bed, and there was a mouse in the tub. they always seem to fall in, you'd think they'd learn. i went out and called for the cats, only one came, so i picked him up and said i needed a favor. i took him in, put him in the tub, closed the door, encouraged him (he doesn't like being inside) and mousie got his lil back broken. kitty caught him in his mouth as he was attempting (stupidly) to hide underneath him, i heard a loud cruch, satisfied purring, kitty played with him, tossed him around. i'd never seen it happen before, it was tres interessante.

Yeah, our cat and the kitten are doing a good job with the mice too. Mind you, my 13 year old son does a good job with them as well. He is quick enough to be able to kick them like a soccer ball and have them go SPLAT against the wall. He can also hit them with a stick and have them go down.

  • pete56
  • May11 '11

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My prior cat came in my open bedroom window on night with a mouse, and promptly let the mouse escape in the kitchen (where he ran to, after I yelled at him to get the meep out WITH the mouse).
The cat spent two days stalking the fridge, 'til the mouse finally came out, at which point I tossed the cat outside which the mouse clenched in his teeth.

  • pete56
  • May11 '11

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Same cat : mouse torment exhibit.
Cat in the back yard with his current victim.
Me watching him throwing a mouse up in the air , alternately with his mouth and claws, and me laughing at the 4 other cats, at a respectful 4 or 5 foot distance, watching him do it.
I swear they were applauding him in some sort of cat fashion, like it was a cat rock show.. or a cat Roman Colloseum show.

Well, there wasn't quite a murder involved, but i had a cat once tried killing a meep, they fought nearly an hour before they both just gave up, craziest meep i ever saw.

  • sunny77
  • May11 '11

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...

  • pete56
  • May11 '11

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Racoons are scary tough little meeps. you got some fearsome kitty to tangle with one and survive it.

I know man, it was a small meep, not quite a baby, but only a little older.

  • sunny77
  • May11 '11

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they're pretty cute, but they look weird the way they stalk around

Haha, cute, sunny, you ain't never been to iowa then, meep those coons are ugly scary mothermeepers, had a family living in our fire cans fore' we moved in, we go out to burn our trash one day and the meeping momma meep scares the meep outta my dad.

  • bobacus
  • May11 '11

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Matilda, my long hair, golden eyed inkblot presented me with a freshly killed sparrow which she trotted, merrily up, and did her ritual bird death dance, replete with prancing with it between two paws and in her mouth, and a lot of different football -goal type victory dances. She laid it at my feet and waited to be praised for it while she did figure eights on my legs.
I love that little fuzzball.She is such a baby, right up till the time she reminds you she really is an apex predator, yet so daintily and sweetly.

Haha, nice bob.

  • graycube
  • May12 '11

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One day I came home and my compost bin was demolished. When I started putting it back together I found the eviscerated remains of a big raccoon amongst the debris. I suspect it was in the bin, munching on leftover banana peels or something when something bigger and meaner decided to eat it. I have no idea what it was that got the raccoon. I do have 3 cats though. Hmmm...

  • sunny77
  • May12 '11

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raccoons are mean meepers if you cross them. i think they're interesting to watch in the wild though. they'll wash an apple in water before they eat it!

  • pete56
  • May12 '11

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which reminds me... a meep broke into my cooler the other night. I leave it outside, cuz it's too bulky for inside. He stole my last loaf of bread, leaving it all over the yard. Little thieving meep.

  • Heather
  • May12 '11

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I meeping HATE my cat. She's such an meep. She hates everyone in the house except my daughter. The assholecat loves my baby girl so much, she brought in a half eaten bloody bird body, trailing viscera across the bedding. Cat's way of saying "good morning".

I'm thinking about maybe getting one.
But only after these loveable yappy little f*ckers are dead:

  • bobacus
  • May12 '11

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These cute little meepers would likely enjoy a cat right now, big daddy.
Or hate the meep out of it.

Haha, yeah there was a point in time we lived in the Iowa, we had a cat wot just had babies, and three dogs, they all hated each other, but slept in the same corner of the house every night. Together. Apparently they overcome their differences for sleep.

  • sunny77
  • May12 '11

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any animal will get along with a natural enemy if it grows up with them. hasn't anyone ever seen the fox and the hound? disney movies never lie, it's where i get all my infos

Oh sunny, bambi was a boy...

  • sunny77
  • May12 '11

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what the meep does that have to do with anything? dori was a meep

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA, i love you. :D

  • pete56
  • May12 '11

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did I mention my cat loves me in a mancat way..

lol jeez pete, i don't think thats healthy.

  • pete56
  • May12 '11

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it's platonic... little meep adores me.
He'll be crashed on the bed all day (like form 5:30 a.m. 'til 4 or so p.m.
When he hears the truck he'll get up and come greet me, and throw himself onto one of the concrete stepping thingies, and sqquirm around til I come over to scratch him.

Lol, cats, stilly creatures, i prefer dogs. their nicer.

Hey, anonymous person! Log in and comment.
BeachGoat
on Adios Ray Manzarek: https://www.youtube.+
Heather
on My man , Skanky.: Same.+
linkswarm
queue: New link: How Islamists get head while in London.
spankerchi+
I'd settle for a hoverboard. -With optional Dogjammer.
spankerchi+
IT'S 2013. Where the meep is the jetpack I was promised?!
bobacus
JOURNAL: My man , Skanky.
LOki
also, dog jamming
pete56
on Interview With Charlie Watts: Great find. Charlie+
StartRecor+
Heather
(my meep)
JohnLenin
But the voice will be muffled on account of the fact that it's all the way inside a meep
JohnLenin
I'm putting you in the sequel as a talking catheter
JohnLenin
I will not be silenced
bobacus
oh shut up.
JohnLenin
Also, if dog jamming is my legacy then I will die happy
JohnLenin
fade out
JohnLenin
A bunch of meeping twats are sitting around sipping tea and making sure that one another is doing well and still in the room
JohnLenin
INT. SOME PLACE WITH MIDDLE AGED DUDES - EVENING
JohnLenin
also, the shoutbox would make a meep awful script.
JohnLenin
I didn't save the link to the script. Will have to reupload. unless someone from irc has it still.
linkswarm
queue: New link: Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?
StartRecor+
BeachGoat
MstrLance
The shoutbox could be a script, if we ever wanted to reenact the shoutbox.
spankerchi+
Linkswarm must live.
Senor_Smok+
While you're at it,fix the camphone thread stuff..kthx
Heather
Where is this LS script?
middle_age+
If a person can 'literally- step on a nail, is it safe to say that one could metaphorically step on a nail?
LOki
@ JohnLenin: Dog jamming. LOL.
spod
The Soul Rapers, great band!
bobacus
I knew I could get a rise out of you.
spankerchi+
Actually; I kinda DO.
MstrLance
You'll all sleep better knowing that JL is silently watching.
JohnLenin
I never bailed. I'm always lurking. Hard to chime in on the Dad-Bro circle. And if you compare me to dagwood again I'll rape your soul.
Cryogeneri+
bobacus
meep you JL. You bailed.You're just like Dagwood.
bobacus
By a state or two.
dragonstaf+
Hey Bobacus, sound off if the twister missed you.
dragonstaf+
JohnLenin
I'd like to cash in all of my unused textwar credits to ban everyone from this webbed establishment
spankerchi+
textwarred tesco until 2013-05-27 22:12:35
tesco
on Why Is It So Hard To Quit Smoking?: Next they will want+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Adios Ray Manzarek
bobacus
It was his rock hall acceptance speech. Its seemingly only on HBO.
dragonstaf+
Link?
bobacus
I want to give the award for the best speech, ever, to Alex Lifeson. I think he found Ozzy's dealer.
Danny_Infe+
Danny_Infe+
linkswarm
queue: New link: French theme park with giant mechanical animals
StartRecor+
Context is everything. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaGKxAgCguU
StartRecor+
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm!
StartRecor+
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm!
StartRecor+
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm!
StartRecor+
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm!
meepbox
RIP http://www.lolserver.net/ like 6 months ago. :(
BeachGoat
on Why Is It So Hard To Quit Smoking?: We calculated the+
dragonstaf+
Bob Welch is DED by a shot to his own chest.
linkswarm
queue: New link: meep Trickle is Ded by a shot to his own head.
dragonstaf+
StartRecor+
StartRecor+
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