Well meep...

Don't worry. Just like in the real world, nobody cares enough about you to hate you.

Welcome to linkswarm.

Now do something interesting.

Good for you.

Orgasmatron? OH meep YES

LOL @heather

What Bob said.

Could you post something exceptionally stupid please? I'm having a hard time getting off here.

i don't need your help, orgasmatron.

Not my ego that I am stroking. So tell us about yourselves.

i stroked my ego for like 5 seconds and blew it all over the keyboard. dangit.

Looking at the wiefs rack again, huh.

Weren't you a prop in a Woody Allen flick?

I think that's you on the left.

Ego being stroked:

leggo my ego

I remember the old days, when the ship took its place in the slip at the yards, and my little Veg Prep room in the galley moved down to a barge that also served as the housing unit, showers and laundry were. This placed me in an out of the way far corner of the barge where I worked basically alone in a closet peeling potatoes,making salad bar,and choppin stuff for the cooks.
It was cool,but for one detail. The galley cooks had a big boom box that played Keith Sweat's Make It Last Forever around six hours of the day, and the cooks,especially the filipino guys,they'd be screeching along with the falsetto parts while the other guys laughed at them,and it was funny for a while.About two weeks of this was all I could stand, and I would go out front and ask them if they would put on the radio, or put in another tape, or at least turn it down so I could hear my Walkman. I was reasonable enough for a long time before that meep made me boil.3 weeks into the barge tour, I bought a 275 dollar boombox from one of those places on Market Street. You know the big city store that was having a going out of business sale for 7 years running.It was a giant Lasonic with lots of plastic chrome and took 12 D cell batteries.It was huge,and I emphasized its hugeness by placing it on a shelf at head height, against the back wall behind me, where in order to touch it, you would first have to go through me. I bought 2 copies of Keith Sweat, and got Motorhead's Orgasmatron ,Slayers Reign in Blood, and Johnny Cash's greatest hits (for like 2 fifty in that electronics store's bargain bin, had no idea I'd love it.......). I then went to the boss man , registered my final complaint ,and set up to work. The first thing I got to do every day at 0430 was crack 20 dozen eggs by hand. Keith sang through that, because 20 dozen eggs is nothing to pause at.Your fingers went numb, and you had to warm them in the tap to grip eggs.
I went to the front and asked the guys to at least turn it down. I knew it wasn't going to work, so I just headed for the back, for copy 1 of Keith Sweat . As I made it to the spud locker, Make It Last Forever was blasting out of the front. I calmly walked over to the radio, pulled out the tape, smashed it with my steel toes, and set the fresh copy down on the counter,returned to my spot.
Lemmy was there with backup. I chose a butcher knife and a smile,and waited for somebody to round the corner into my little alcove. It took them one minute, and I stopped the guy,and kept saying, " What?" waving the knife (smiling too wide ) What? I cant hear you over all that meeping Keith Sweat! (still smiling, I'm Riding With the Driver, and those little meepers are staring at the blade and remembering all my calm complaints, and as they surveyed my menacing smirk , I could see them deciding to just go back in front, and shut the meep up. ) "Dontcha love Lemmy too?" I yelled at them. "No? Ok, well, meep- you. Come back here and just try to change this."
The supply officer eventually came back there to ask me if I'd mind turning it down, and when he did, I put in a set of earplugs and blasted Keith Sweat with the treble cranked up and the bass turned down, and he was far enough away that he would hear it and thing those assholes were getting airtime. That worked like 1 really annoying day.
After that, the earth righted itself, and all was good.
Happy Mothers Day, Lemmy. Your raging Metal made jerky cooks cower.
My insomnia has left me! Good night. Thank you Sunny. My typing is easier to proofread when I don't type the way my brain thinks, and the spacing was the key. I don't know how I never realized that before. Happy Mothers Day to all you moms and all you single moms and single dads, sweating it out, having to wear two hats. I got mothers day presents for 4 years as a single dad,......Happy Mothers Day, Orgasmatron.

@bobacus: You too, sir.

@godevilivedog: So I should form, like words and sentences and stuff. I dunno mann. That kind of seems like a lot for one person to handle. You might have to gimme a second. How about something along the lines of 'I banged your wife a few months back and you should probably get yourself tested.' Is that exceptionally stupid enough for you or should I try again??

@fastlane: I live in Colorado and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I like my coffee about as black as I like my metal. I'm a professional slacker at the moment, but my occupation should change soon enough. No spouse, no kids, but I have a cat named Sox.

@MstrLance: That appears to be my good twin.

oh oh, black metal you say?

:Orgasmatron initial stock value rising:

Can i stroke my motorhead instead :D sounds a helluva lot funner, since my ego, no existo.

Can i stroke my motorhead instead :D sounds a helluva lot funner, since my ego, no existo.

this was not meant to repeat itself, my meepbox computer fails me again XD meep you inspiron one, lick my meep@anothermonkeyenslaved

I am posting in this thread

stay tuned for moar black metal, as i hand pick it off the tree of satan

your cthulhu icon is super cool and original...

sunny77: Yes, black metal however I enjoy punk just a little bit more.

anothermonkeyenslaved: Not sure Lemmy feels about that, but okay.

LORDKAHUNA: I'm honored?

Crapalicious: I find your poo quite enticing.

He feels excited, very very excited. :D@orgasmatron

honored?

Well yes son

I'm just planning to sit over here and eat crackers baked from the ground bones of the elderly and seasoned with the tears of hungry orphans while watching this whole thing play out.

Wash it down with some Fiji Water, bro.

Nah, chug a few glasses of virgin, menstrual blood. Goes better with bone-crackers.

was being sarcastic.

f1rst p0st! oh wait...

heres some noisy black for ya

something more melodic

A desire to be a masochist is a weird concept to me.

@sunny77
The drums and guitar playing is great but the lead singers need voice lessons.

yeah i have some metalhead friends on my facebook and they post some amazing stuff.

not exactly black, but i reckon you'll like it anyway