The biggest meep I ever saw.

I've traveled a lot in my life, and it seems that regardless of the real estate I'm on,some fat chick from Ohio always finds me and reminds me of the true "Ohio Experience".
Allow me to explain my stretch of Ohio, especially my Lake Effect Snow band.It is that poor rut along the Lake Erie shore that is constantly pummeled with bitter wind and snow at 2 inches an hour for three day stretches. In the summer, it is a bountiful, beautiful countryside of orchards and wineries,This leaves people with few outdoor exercise options after their 40 hour factory shift ,combined with the heavy ethnic diets and drinking habits of the hillbillies,Krauts,Norkies,Dagos, and 'Ricans.That makes a lot of experience that seasonal weight gain and loss.(Some just get the gain part down, and not the loss.)
I got up to 307 lbs sitting around that place.(I was big boy, like killer whale.)
And with nothing to do but drink, meep and bowl 6 months out of the year, there be fat people, and fat girls from Ohio do not mind being fat, because they still get laid.
I didn't know how fit the rest of the world was until I got stationed in FL and CA.
Dawn the six foot redhead,400 lbs, moved in 3 doors over in my digs.Being a good neighbor, I grabbed a couple of beers and ran over to greet her.I could spend a lot of time describing this gal to you,and Drew Carey's show actually has Dawn's twin in it.Imagine a red headed,red faced Dee Dee.Big Mumu dress, flip flops, and she was chatting up some of the girls from the complex.Specifically girls I was banging, that either did or didn't know about each the other, and I was hoping to be able to lead the conversation away from carnal subjects.In honesty, I was sleeping with 3 girls in the same apartments, and after several quite social hours of drinking with the milf/gilf squad, they trickled out, leaving me there in Dawns apartment alone. She got that look in her eyes, like I was a bucket of Church's.She had obviously figured out that I was banging my way around this bunch of divorcees.We were finishing this blunt, and it was taking forever.
I didn't want to sit on the couch next to her for 2 reasons, the obvious one being that although I'm into fat chicks,thats not my size,man.I mean, for a fetishist, I admire those dudes that crave a 400 pounder simply for being brave enough for getting into what they love, just like I admire my homey that told me he loved to have his wife stomp his meep while she was in heels,and my chub meter goes flat well below this ladies weight limit.I also am a big guy, and I was concerned about exceeding the rated load capacity of the furniture,causing an embarrassing spill.
The chair at the end of the couch was good for like 3 reasons,though, so I was in it,munching all the chocolate out of this big old candy bow that my impaired meep had previously failed to spot, kicking up the footrest.
Dawn sat at the opposite end of the couch passing a blunt to me, meeping about me cleaning out her chocolate supply, when she kicked one of those hammy legs of hers over, and her mumu dress sort of made a parachute, and being seated where I was, I saw everything.Did I mention she turned out to be a real redhead.
It was like a big pinkish ginger manatee face staring up at me.
I stood to bolt and stumbled towards the door to her words of, "You sure you don't want to stick around? I hear you're the local go to guy for that sort of problem." Just then,
Her little mulatto 12 year old meeperball came in crying, and I seized the opportunity to run home.
I probably should have at least tried, but I was shocked at the sight of it.
The girls who didn't know I was " off and runnin" found out that day, and we had a big trashy shouting match,both inside and out, complete with a lot of my personal belongings being thrown all over the yards.
Its like a big curse, the sight of that beastly ginger thing, and In the end,I wasn't man enough to skin the whale.
Did I mention that I'm married to one of the other girls from that day?
I dodged a lot of bullets in a 2 day period back in 2003.