Zombie War Build-Off

Ladies and gentlemen...
...We are at a crossroads.

The world is scheduled to end next year.
-and if there is any justice in the universe, there will be zombies to fight.

To that end, I challenge you all: A and B Class Swarmers, Lurkers, Noobs and Trolls.

HELP. ME. FIGHT.

I want every idea and invention, no matter how mundane or innocuous it may seem.

Today we define the line between victor and victim.

The difference may lie in the placement of a single trap, the extra bullet in your clip or the choice of steel skin on one's own front door.
Help me design the defenses and the weapons. Help me find the weaknesses and root them out.
Join this fight
and live to see your offspring survive the end times.
Or lie there unprepared and watch all that you love be devoured.

What?
"Incentive"?!

...Okay, fine you lazy meeps.

I'll give this chest as a reward to the best design/ actual build of a zombie trap/ defense:


(Coins not included, but I may doctor the chest up with some carving/inlay)

Points are awarded as follows:

1-10 pts for availability of parts

1-10 pts for ease of construction

1-10 pts for creativity (we haven't seen it before)

1-50 pts for ability to take/deal damage

1-50 pts for depth of detail on construction

1-50 pts for general bad-assed-ness

Points are DOUBLED if you actually build it.

Help me prepare for this and at worst, my brother we will share a feast in Valhalla.

Decider: Wotak

ghostrider

shitbox

GrapeApe

freakmachine

dent

sunny77

MstrLance

Wotak

  • MstrLance
  • Jan27 '11

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Will we be facing those newer fast zombies, or zombie classic? I guess we'd better be prepared for both.

Yup; either/or.
Contest runs until May.

Who's in?

  • RacerX
  • Jan27 '11

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1st obvious step is a massive weapons cache... After that, I'd probably take refuge in a tower of some assortment so you can line the stairwell with assorted traps.

I would like to posit a large snow plow fitted with a large snow blower attachment. Perhaps around eight feet wide and around three feet in diameter. Fitted with sharp blades that can take an edge quickly. To deal with the buildup of bones, an industrial strength wood chipper should be included behind the blade unit. Of course, this contraption will require to be built higher than a standard dump truck... better yet, get one of those large meep earth movers seen in fancy strip mining operations. Please mount some coaxial 50 cals on the front and back of the cab.

So, with the correct level of bankrolling, I think this thing could be built.

My alternate suggestion is a sonic disruptor or wave gun, because zombie flesh isn't very firm... with the rotting and all.... one hit with a wave, they would fall apart faster than slow-cooked pork shoulder.

When the end is 'nigh, please send the troops to pick me up. I'll have the keys to the ZombieBlowerChipperKillerMachine.

Draw up a sketch and you've got the first official entry.
I'm gonna ask that everyone at least do that much.

I need 100 gallons of liquid nitrogen and half a ton of high fiber cereal.

I am going to build myself a elite cadre of meep knife wielding zombie assassins. Who's with me?

  • Whittey
  • Jan27 '11

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Sounds like Din needs a train snow blower.
blow me

  • Mofo
  • Jan28 '11

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a mine disposal vehicle equipped with flails would pretty cut through zombies, give shelter and allow you to cut through any obstacles too.

Problem with all the vehicles is gas

  • GrapeApe
  • Jan28 '11

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Is this open to weapons only?

Does anybody have updated research information on Zombie mind-control experiments? My lab was destroyed in a fire and I lost all my specimens and notebooks.

That will teach me to fund my research via meth production.

No. You can be totally on the defensive if you like.
@GrapeApe

Is this open to weapons only?

-Er by that I mean you can design home/body/vehicle armor. Any kind of protective device is good.

Oh meep. How'd he get in here?

  • MstrLance
  • Mar03 '11

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The Spombie Apocolypse is upon us!

This was a bad idea.
My apologies fellow Swarmers. I expected too much.
There wasn't really much structure to this event and the whole concept was too vague to motivate any casual participants.
I'm revamping this failure of a contest to make it more user-friendly.

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Hey, anonymous person! Log in and comment.
linkswarm
queue: New link: Mao Sugiyama Cooks, Serves Own Genitals At Banquet In Tokyo
BigDinWaun+
fastlane fosters a pen-pal/lover relationship with a terrorist who blew up herself just yesterday - unlucky
BigDinWaun+
fastlane tries out his first gloryhole - blown by disease ridden mule that likes to snap carrots in half - very unlucky
graycube
fastlane
And how could I forget Pepper as she attempts to scare a wild animal. Honey badger doesn't give a meep.~ unlucky
fastlane
Sunny goes to baby a shower. Drowns.~ unlucky
fastlane
Dragonstaff wears a buIIetproof vest. Shot in the face. ~ unlucky
fastlane
BigD meeps the meep out of a girl. Literally.~ unlucky
fastlane
BeachGoat bends over to pick up hot girI's dropped books. meeps. ~ unlucky
fastlane
M_A_M means to write "kk" to black friend on Facebook chat. Adds extra k. ~ unlucky
fastlane
MstrLance finally goes to summer camp. Auschwitz. ~ Unlucky
fastlane
Spanky goes to snort a line of coke. Sneezes. ~ unlucky
fastlane
Post watermelon head post haste.
fastlane
Spanky volunteers to help inner city kids, shot in drive by. ~ unlucky
BeachGoat
Happy Day to Ya, Long May Ye Wave It
BeachGoat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4ShbuhpRlo&feature=youtu.be
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Okay here's a+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: I SWEAR I was+
MstrLance
Happy Birthday, Spanky! You're in your prime for the 13th time.
MstrLance
I bet it's well manicured.
middle_age+
Try to picture Joan River's meep during the exam. It'll save some embarassment.
BigDinWaun+
spanky... You Goshdarn two-faced Gemini!
middle_age+
Don't kid yourself, you'll cry yourself to sleep after the next physical. Happy birthday you middle aged meepgot.
dragonstaf+
Happy birthday. Post pic for photoshopping.
sunny77
today on linkswarm, spanky unsuccessfully attempts to change the subject
spankerchi+
Or: Nine years before getting the pickle jar treatment.
spankerchi+
Change of topic; I'm 41 today.
spankerchi+
Ummm...
sunny77
:|
sunny77
:
middle_age+
The doc went at me like he was trying to get the last pickle out of the jar.
Pepper
Home Sweet meeping Home! Ahhhh...
nurglets
on Camphone Thread: img20120525114046qK5th.jpg
BeachGoat
Tell the GrandMonkey, "He's Dancing with the Tree!"
BeachGoat
There is a 400lb Senegalese Tortoise down the street who has a tree stump for a girlfriend.
BigDinWaun+
My pet Gerbil is dry meep a mound of cedar bedding? What gives?
BigDinWaun+
One of those old Republican Women's Cookbooks or French Gastronomy in Africa?
BigDinWaun+
I'm trying to fashion a rattle and pacifier out of chicken gibblets... does anyone have any references for this... one of those old Republican Women
linkswarm
queue: New link: security forces in Mexico have raided a workshop making fake Mexican military uniforms and body armour.
BeachGoat
"It's a Boy!"
BeachGoat
http://upload.linkswarm.com/i/beachgoat/pullingporkLSg.jpg
spankerchi+
Let the baby roast rest for an hour, then have your guests help pull the meat. Everyone will have fond memories of the event to cherish FOREVER!
spankerchi+
Just remember to give yourself plenty of time for cooking (a field-dressed baby can weigh upwards of 30 lbs and take a FULL DAY to cook!)
spankerchi+
I prefer free range, breast fed toddler as there's more dense muscle mass.
linkswarm
queue: New link: Bachmann's political mentor.
BigDinWaun+
Do you keep them penned up like veal and infuse them with formula or mother's milk? I hear formula fed babies have a medicinal taste. I don't want that for the party.... I would be a terrible host.
spankerchi+
No need to leave the skin on. A toddler's got a lot of good marbling.
spankerchi+
I'd go dry rub and smoke it like a picnic meep.
BeachGoat
HOME!...That is all
BigDinWaun+
Can anyone recommend a Masala that flavors flesh?
sunny77
however much is in a can of coconut cream
MstrLance
Trans-fat or poly-unsaturated?
BigDinWaun+
How many fat calories in a small, American toddler?
MstrLance
MIT's new coating should help with that.
hoyaguru
clipswarmed MstrLance's Dogs Shot by Police
linkswarm
queue: New link: MIT's Freaky Non-Stick Coating Keeps Ketchup Flowing
dragonstaf+
Ahh. One of those.
dragonstaf+
Not to my knowledge. Details please.
spankerchi+
That's when you take a really greasy meep and before the meep hits the water it grabs onto your meep hair and swings from tuft to tuft around your a##hole.
spankerchi+
Speaking of hair removal products; Have you ever taken a Tarzan Sh#t?
spankerchi+
Ugh...too much barbecue pork.
  • beachgoat

  • pete56

  • beachgoat

  • nurglets

  • sunny77

  • spankerchi+

  • spankerchi+

  • dragonstaf+

  • beachgoat

  • mstrlance

  • spankerchi+

  • beachgoat

  • beachgoat

  • lordkahuna

  • lordkahuna

  • lordkahuna

  • pete56

  • beachgoat

  • beachgoat

  • beachgoat

  • beachgoat

  • johnlenin

  • beachgoat

  • beachgoat

  • godevilliv+