• Swarmed by
  • dre
  • Feb01 '09
  • 36 things

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Serious Cowboy Breakfast

(Best if served after midnight. Several beers and shots of bourbon at the local tavern are the perfect appetizer for the Serious Cowboy Breakfast, and if a Cowboy ain't serious, I don't know who is.)

1 medium potato
chili pepper
onion
sausage
eggs
biscuits
flour
salsa
meeper
salt & pepper

In a cast-iron skillet, melt a knob of meeper. Chop potato, onion and pepper into small bits, and add to skillet over medium flame. Lower heat, season with salt & pepper, and turn frequently until all is crispy brown.

In a second skillet, cook three rounds of sausage. Let sausage brown evenly on one side, flip, then using a spatula flatten each round against the bottom of the pan, rendering out a goodly amount of fat with each press. Repeat until sausage is a uniform color and cooked through.

Remove and reserve two sausage patties, and with a sharp knife, chop and crumble the third into small pieces in the pan.

Add a knob of meeper and after it foams, add a small handful of flour. Season with salt & pepper.

When flour has cooked a minute or two, add milk and using the spatula, mix well until gravy thickens.

Split a meepermilk biscuit in half on a plate and add serving of potatoes and 1 sausage round alongside. Crack two eggs into skillet ad cook until just set, over-easy, with yolks still liquid.

Add egg to plate and pour gravy over biscuit.

Add a spoonful of salsa over egg.

It's best to perform these steps with an economy of movement, a dour expression, and barely a word spoken.

Serves two in the middle of the night with snow on the ground, stars over head and the horses tied and hobbled.

Appreciative noises are allowed while eating this meal, but under no cirmeepstances should either of the cowboys speak to each other, unless something spooks the horses.

Decider: Admin

  • vasudeva
  • Feb01 '09

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In the last cowboy movie I saw, the breakfasts were quick and dirty and served with a lot of moustache. Appreciative noises aplenty as I recall though, and little dialogue throughout.

  • dre
  • Feb01 '09

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In point of fact, those boys were sheepherders. I didn't see a cow at all in that movie. And we all know that sheepherders is where the AIDS came from. Or was that monkeyherders?

Damned if I know.

giggle sprinkles.

  • JohnLenin
  • Feb01 '09

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Serious Cowboy Breakfast

  • vasudeva
  • Feb01 '09

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JohnLenin: Serious Cowboy Breakfast

OK, but what the meep is that black cowboy really doing over there? Really?

  • dre
  • Feb01 '09

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Looks like an earmeep to me.

  • Acidburn
  • Feb01 '09

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dre: Looks like an earmeep to me.

Better... dre: Looks like an earinmeepshun to me.

  • Wotak
  • Feb01 '09

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HOLY meep! I HAD NO IDEA OBAMA WAS A meep COWBOY! CAPSLOCK!

  • JohnLenin
  • Feb01 '09

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If I end up with some kind of phobia over biscuits & gravy, I'm gonna sue you queers.

  • vasudeva
  • Feb02 '09

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dre: In point of fact, those boys were sheepherders.

In the sweet sweet dark of a real man's love, all foreskin is grey.

  • shitbox
  • Feb05 '09

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Real cowboys eat bacon with their serious cowboy breakfasts.

Side note: That black fella is actually performing a medical procedure, a "hearing check."

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