Lies

Oh lord.

Yes, I know someone like that

dent: Oh lord. Yes, I know someone like that

Haha, I totally forgot about that, this meep and Ken should have hooked up and meeped.

Well, the meep bag I wrote about was named Ken as well, so note to all people with friends name Ken; kill them now.

dent: Well, the meep bag I wrote about was named Ken as well, so note to all people with friends name Ken; kill them now.

With a jumping kick.

A friend of mine who I knew for some time turned out to be a pathological liar. Among the things we later figured out she lied about: chronic physical abuse from her father, pregnancies, health scares-God knows what else. Oh, and she faked a seizure in front of me-got taken away by EMS, later told us she had a "brain hemmorage". She was very convincing.

There was a dude in my group of friends like this. His entire life was a fabrication, and a weak one at that. Even if his stories never added up, any domeepentation of any sort was handwritten in his handwriting. What makes it worse is that his best friend of 8 or so years would always just go along with it, and a lot of people believed it. I'd share some stories, but in the event he somehow sees this and makes connections, I don't want him hunting me down and stabbing me. I wouldn't put it past him to do so.

I have an acquaintance like this. He's not my friend. He's one of my childhood friend's cousins, and he used to tag along with us. He's a pathological liar. I can't even count the number of lies this kid told. It was all stupid meep too, like being a QB on the high school football team when everyone knew he wasn't. It ended up ruining his friendship with most of us, as everyone knew he was a liar and he couldn't be trusted.

Fast forward to 15 years later, and he's still lying. He tells his cousin that he's all depressed and is seeking help for his problem, while in the same conversation telling everyone he's in a training program to become a police officer. I'm just glad he's out of my life I guess.

<span class="post_was_edited">On 2008-01-23 at 12:59:08, Gothmog asked to smell your meep</span>

I had a student work with me one summer. I don't think he was much older than 23 or 24 but he'd had a couple careers before he got to university. He was first a paramedic in rural Saskatchewan and then a surveyor for De Beers. Some of the bs that comes to mind;

He and his partner were in a shoot-out with a senile WWII vet when they tried to take him to a home.

He helped a doctor beat the meep out of a patient that attacked a nurse in the ER.

While working in a diamond exploration camp in Nanavut, he witnessed four decapitations by helicopters.

They were forced to hunt caribou with a .22 after they ran out of food in the camp.

I knew a kid like this in high school. His parents died at least 4 times while we were in school. He claimed at one point that his dad (who was dead several times over at this point) was fighting in Iraq and got his finger blown off so he had to come home. On his way back home he got an infection in his leg from his wound (the wound was in his finger) and was in the hospital in critical condition. During our senior year, when he was 18, he claimed that a family in Alaska was going to adopt him, so he became goth for a week to scare them off. Stupid meep, I don't know how he thought anyone would believe him.

ClassicRockRules: he became goth for a week to scare them off.

Thats actually pretty funny.

Recently a co-worker of mine died. Ken was this big doofy ventilation technician who used to prowl the rooftops of the factory, making sure that all the vents and blowers were in good working order, he was affectionately called "The Roof Goof". We spent a good portion of this morning in the office telling Ken stories, he had this weird little quirk, he couldn't tell the truth, ever. It's not that he lied about his job or anything important, he would just tell these crazy stories with fervent sincerity that were hilarious lies. One would think that if someone told lies like this, at the frequency that he did, he would at least be good at it. Each lie was fantastic, and he would launch into storytime with all listeners hanging off his very word, I think he construed this as belief. Here is my favorite, and I might not have this verbatim, but it is pretty meep close: "Back in 76, my best friend and I just got home from nam, I bought this Chevelle from an old pig farmer and under the hood was a small block vette engine. So anyway, we are driving down HWY #400 behind a convoy of circus trucks going 140 kph, and the lead truck hits a patch of black ice and all the trucks wipe out spilling their cargo all over the place. There was clown shoes and tent poles all over the highway, people bleeding and dying all over the road, so naturally my army medic training kicked in and my buddy and I grabbed skidded to a stop and tried to offer whatever assistance we could. We were taking turns giving CPR to a 500 lb bearded woman, it was hard work cause we had to push through her fat meep, and out of the smoke came an enraged hippo. I don't know what you know about hippos, but they are one of the most bloodthirsty creatures in God's kingdom, and in the blink of an eye the hippo ran up and bit my buddy's head right off. I had to fight my fear and the instinct to freeze like a deer in the headlights, so I ran to the trunk of the Chevelle and pulled my shotgun out of the trunk, loaded it with slugs, and shot that meeper dead. He had a closed casket funeral, and that was the only time I cried as a grown man." Do you guys know any pathological liars? I'm not talking about fibs, but grandiose retarded retard lies.

Any more Ken stories? That meep is just outright meep in your shoes funnay!

LORDKAHUNA:

ClassicRockRules: he became goth for a week to scare them off.

Thats actually pretty funny.

i LOLed.

i knew a girl who was a habitual liar. she was pretty good at it too. she was an ex fat girl who lost like 200 lbs., bought some new clothes, a box of rubbers, and starting whoring it up. she was very similar to the person acheron mentioned. she lied about being raped, being robbed, broke. she resorted to stealing. she was a basket case. the kind of person who can only keep a friend for a few months because everything would catch up with her and they would tell her to meep off.

nexis: the kind of person who can only keep a friend for a few months because everything would catch up with her and they would tell her to meep off.

I love this part. Please translate it for us?

Working in a manufacturing environment tends to connect you to peoples you wouldn't ordinarily care to communicate with. Add to that a management job title and the weirdos come out of the woodwork to interact with you.

I can dig the Ken story LK shared because I've met a couple of people like this during my travels through the work place. I'll share the best story I've ever heard...

This dude (we'll call him Dave) Dave, worked with me back in the early 90's. He was an IROC driving, Harley riding, mullet sporting, LEVIS denim jacket wearing - mess. We have a million just like him in Michigan but this one was special. He told stories that you wouldn't believe but couldn't stop listening to.

My favorite: (This is kind of how he told it)

I had to kill a mountain lion with my knife once.

(someone at the table) "wha?!"

No meep. I was up in B.C. with my club taking a fantasy ride and we were on a long, downhill valley road. The shadows were cold and the trees were close. It was one of those roads that you just wanted to twist the throttle and power through. We couldn't because the curves were sharp and the road was wet with morning dew but we kept pushing the edge.

As we cruised through a steep valley curve, a mountain lion jumped on my bike. It tried to bite my neck and I leaned back on the bike. I let go of the handlebars and was actually laying on my back. It was insane! I had to steer the bike with my knees as I tried to grab the lion by the neck. It kept going for my throat.

I kicked out my right leg and layed the bike on on its side. I tucked my head into my arms like this (demonstration, lotus style) and let my leathers protect me from the road. The lion held onto my arm with it's teeth and we rolled down the road a little before coming to a stop.

I was freaking out as this cat kept trying to go for my throat and I kept throwing my left forearm into its mouth. Every time it went for my throat I threw my forearm in its mouth and it had nothing but cow-hide to taste.

With my right hand I reached down to my belt and unsnapped my my sheath (he stood up to show us the buck knife on his hip while demonstrating his awesome "giant cat fending off" left arm style and right hand, sheath unsnapping, buck knife grabbing, coolness) and I pulled out my knife. (yes, he pulled it out)

He then went through the imaginary procedure of killing a mountain lion on a road with a buck knife while explaining how tricky it was, for about 15 minutes.

The lolls over smokes behind his back were endless.

used to have this bird hanging round when the band was in full swing, looks: good from afar, but far from good. her name was jen i think, but we called her 'the playstatio' (wasnt enough room in my mobiles name field) cause we all fancied a wee shot, but it got a bit boring after a while...

anyway, this bird man, all during the short while we knew her

had signed a recording deal was going to star in The Bill got pregnant lost the baby got pregnant again 'hadnt felt that fuker kick all day' as we rolled eyes and changed the subject got the kid adopted needed surgery had her eyes lasered 'when asked why she still wore her glasses, the lasering didnt work...' ad infinitum

it didnt seem to matter that she was always going to expose(!) herself in the end, she just kept at it...

anyway 3 out of the 4 of us done her for a laugh, but it really wasnt worth it...

my wife had a boyfriend that was an habitual liar. he had a brain tumor that he only told her about. he tutored in high school when he was barely a C student. eventually she broke up with him and told him he seriously needed help. he called her sometime later saying he got counselling and that he was all better. he was going to move to texas and would she come with him. she said sure if he could pay her way down. a day or two later he called and 'broke' his arm or leg and couldn't afford it and did the see? phone tap against the coffee table trick. she hung up on him.

her friend's boyfriend was allegiadly in the rangers and would tell outrageous stories. the only one i remember vividly was having a parachute fail to open from 3000 feet and somehow landing with no broken bones.

i knew a kid in high school who:

-built a rocket sled out of a car hood and a jet/rocket engine of indeterminite origin -hacked into nasa. when asked about his modem, he replied 'what's a modem?' -had a grandfather who was in wwII and witnessed hitler being stabbed in the back on 'the battlefield' -had the same grandfather find the radioactive ruins of atlantis when working for nasa

i'm sure i'm forgetting a bunch of stuff. it always amazed me the things people would think up. like, do they actually believe they can hack into nasa without a modem (circa 1990)?

we used to throw mcdonald's barbeque packets at his house.

<span class="post_was_edited">On 2008-01-30 at 10:09:55, mundhra asked to smell your meep</span>

we used to throw mcdonald's barbeque packets at his house.

Oh, this sort of vandalism is so f'ing funny. Just did a spit take.

Now this is a general story, with very little specifics, but here it goes....

When I was in grad school, an israeli-french post-doc, who I shall call Stopher, a man with around ten years on us all, and a world traveler, and someone who lived in Israel, Paris, London, other parts of the US (other than Beantown)... well, he had the following trait:

If he was sitting amongst a group of us as we were talking about life experiences, which weren't too numerous at that age, but some were unique.. Stopher would always have a similar or slightly tangental story to mimic or top yours. It didn't matter if you were into beastiality and were recounting a childhood tale in the Chicken coop... Stopher would wait until you were finished, then he would add his meepual experience with chickens or something closely related.

It got to a point that a few of us would totally make meep up just to get Stopher's tale to follow. Looks would pass between a few of us as he rolled out the tale. There were few occassions when he didn't add, because we think he was daydreaming. He was also an amateur/semi-pro story-teller, someone who would actually tell stories to groups at coffeehouses, parties, etc.... a hobby akin to Solions Furry thing... but without the sodomy.

Anyway, fast forward nearly twenty years in my own life.. I find myself doing the same thing to those around me, regardless of their age group. With more life experiences, more commonalities. So, this fact makes me do two things: A. Shut the meep up when I'm about to throw out another... "Yeah, me too, and here are the details.." during conversations.

B. Wonder if Stopher really wasn't full of meep / lying. Perhaps he really did all those things that the young punks had done.

I knew a guy eons ago who was a compulsive liar. Whereas most of the stories I have read in this thread relate to liars who embellished their mundane lives to elevate other peoples perceptions of themselves; this guy would tell not so grandiose tales about his friends and family. One story I recall vividly was the one about his cousin finding a brand new car wrapped in a huge red ribbon out in the driveway on Christmas morning. Since his entire family lived in the region and back then everyone knew everyone else, these bold faced lies were just bizarre.

A few years ago out of the blue this same great pretender showed up at my parental units' home saying his was "just in the neighborhood" and thought he would stop in to say "hello" Since the parental units live way the meep out in bum meep no where and no one is ever just in the neighborhood they LOL'd immediately and invited him in for coffee just to hear what sort of meep was going to spill out of his pie hole next.

I will attempt to make this short but the key points of the yarn were:

His sister had recently married a very wealthy businessman who lived in NYC and in the spirit of family nepotism had given him a highly prestigious position within the company.

World travel was mentioned more than a few times as well as a very lucrative salary.

Several days later the parental units were at the local lumber yard picking up building supplies and whatnot. The salesman told my dad to pull his truck around back and someone would load up their order

And there in front of the giggling parental units was the meep loading up lumber for minimum wage.

It's interesting how liars can flat out lie to you and they know you know its a lie but they act as if you believe them. They must be trying to convince themselves that their life is really the lie by believing you believe their lies.

its interesting...

^ this is a lie