Joke time

If the guy has a foot fetish, why is he walking out of the woods alone ?

Knock knock. Who's there?

See, that's meeper knocking.

A guy an a girl just finish having meep, and as they are getting dressed the girl says, "Don't you think it's pretty presumptuous of you to think you'd get into my pants on the first date?"

To which the man replies, "Don't you think that presumptuous is a big word for a third-grader?"

also, this one I get from my friend, but I'm sure they're all from the meeping internet anyway;

A man walks up to a little girl who is crying by the edge of a cliff.

"What's wrong little girl?" he asks.

The girl points over the edge of the cliff. The man walks over and looks down, where he sees the mangled remains of the little girl's parents in their van.

The man turns around and unzips his pants.

"This just isn't your lucky day, is it?"

_{On 2007-01-18 at 17:44:23, Jawlessjoe pooped back and forth... forever}

did you hear about the chick who went fishing with six other guys?

all she came back with was a red snapper!

What's the difference between a lawyer and a guppie? One's a smeep-sucking bottom-feeder, the other one's a fish.

Zen budhist to hot dog vendor: "Make me one with everything."

Two blondes went hunting and came upon a pair of tracks. They began to argue because one thought they were bear tracks, and one thought they were lion tracks. While they were busy arguing, a train ran over them.

...and so the buddhist pays for the hot dog with a $20 bill. and says to the vendor 'hey, where's my change?'

and the vendor says 'change must come from within'

Didja hear about the Buddhist in Central Park ? He said to the hot dog vendor, "Make me one, with everything".

Okay, I'll play...

So then he pays for the hot dog with a $20 bill and says "where's my change"...

I've lost interest now...

Disinterest is so 1992.

Faux participation is the new disinterest.

How about we just tell the punchlines - they're easier to remember.

...so he says "Well, you just watch ol' Bubba go to work!"

...so the potato farmer says to the shepherd, "No thanks, I've already got a meep!"

...the Rabbi says, "Hey, You can't put cheese on a meeping hamburger".

... the Aristocrats!

Then he noticed the note on his chest that said "Right nut tied to dresser"

ghostrider: Faux participation is the new disinterest.

I like it. Incisive, smarmy, and best of all, accurate. Look for this soon in a footer near you.

guitarjon123: ... the Aristocrats!

lol u vidyut

This is my kind of thread.

blubby: did you hear about the chick who went fishing with six other guys? all she came back with was a red snapper!

Did you hear the one about the chick who went fisting with six other guys?

She died of impacted fetus.

She was your mom.

Search box punchline!

EDIT: Be careful, young B0bo, for when you look into the abyss... the abyss also looks into you.

_{On 2007-01-19 at 21:16:34, vasudeva pooped back and forth... forever}

whats the difference between Hobo and Super Mario?

The 'super' part 8(

whats the difference between MY meep IS RIPPING

A little black baby dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives, he finds God in the Wing Room putting wings on a bunch of white folks. The little black baby gets in line.

When his turn comes, God puts a set of black wings on him. He asks God, "Am I an angel now?"

God laughs and says to the little black baby, "Naw meepa; u a bat."

A guy comes home from work, and as his wife greets him at the door, he hands her a bouquet of flowers.

"So I guess you expect me to spread my legs for this, huh?" she asks.

The man shakes his head. "What, you don't have a meeping vase?"

I stepped into an elevator, and on the way up an old lady asked me "Can I smell your meep?" Flustered, I replied "No!, Of course not!" To which she answered, "Then it must be your feet."

What do a walrus and a submarine have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

Q: What do a woman and an airplane have in common?

A: They both have meeppits.

What do you call a meep dinosaur? Mega-saur-meep What do you call a meep dinosaur? lickalotopis

What would you do if you had enough money to send half the meepers back to Africa? Send all of them back half way.

What's black and white and red, and can't fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.

whats orange and sounds like a parrot

a carrot

A jewish pedophile walks up to a little kid and says "Hey kid, wanna buy some candy?"

Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence.

The Priest said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so. "

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her," Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words."

Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We will get you a better bed."

After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest.

"You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine."

"Food cold," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office.

"You may say two words today."

"I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine.

"It's probably best," said the Priest, "You've done nothing but meep since you got here."

What did the Auschwitz guard say to Hitler on a surprise visit?

"Had I known you were coming I'd have baked you a meep!"

What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow?

brownchickenbrowncow

It's all in the delivery.

What is the best thing about a twelve year old girl in your shower?

[spoiler]If you slick her hair back she looks eight. [/spoiler]

What do you call a Black Frenchman?

<span class="spoiler">Jacques Cousteau-dian</span>

A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a pharmacy to speak to the chemist. The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandanna, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it. The chemist holds it up, and eyes it critically.

'How much to repair it?' the Scot asks the pharmacist.

'Six pence,' says the pharmacist.

'How much for a new one?'

''Ten pence,' says the pharmacist.

The Scot folds the condom into the silk square and the cotton bandanna, places it in his sporran and marches out the door of the pharmacy, kilt swinging. A moment or two later the pharmacist hears a great shout go up, followed by an even greater shout.

The Scot walks back into the pharmacy, and again speaks to the pharmacist. 'The regiment has taken a vote,' says the Scot. 'We'll have a new one.'

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

''Emma come first. I come. Dennis come and Dennis come again. I come again. Two meep, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''

''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our meep lives in public.''

''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''

How can you tell an Italian bride at a New Jersey wedding?

She's wearing the clean t -shirt.

ghostrider: How can you tell an Italian bride at a New Jersey wedding? She's wearing the clean t -shirt.

Correction: She has the best lip sweater

Charlie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have meep with when you have a headache."

His wife is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

The man says: "I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to you."